


If this is what we make of it.

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Chan, Drama, Explicit Language, Gen, M/M, Out of Character, Pre-Slash, Romance, Sexual Content, Slash, Slash sex, Spoilers, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-20
Updated: 2008-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-01 01:15:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 45,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10177256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Harry realizes his feelings and Severus realizes that Harry is in fact not James Potter.





	1. 1. The Philosophers Stone

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

( I just wanted to explain this story a bit before posting anything. It starts out in Harry’s first year at Hogwarts and hopefully will go on until the end of the series. I honestly haven’t gotten that far yet. A large part of this story, setting and dialogue, is taken directly from the movies in order to give readers a definite timeline for all the original scenes and dialogue. If the idea of that offends you then please don’t read any further. Just know that any truly harsh reviews on not the quality of the story but the content will be ignored simply because the way it’s written is crucial to the story line itself. In only some instances is the dialogue written word for word and only when I feel it’s necessary. There are scenes that have been written descriptively that will be familiar but as I’ve never read any of the actual books, I’m sure they won’t be entirely true to the series itself. I know this may come off as defensive but I just feel that everyone should be informed, not only about the story but about how I feel as well. Again, as I have no beta any and all mistakes you find are mine. Thank you for your time and if you still wish to read the story then please, enjoy.)

1\. The Philosophers Stone

Sweeping into the room, Severus cast a disdainful glance over the assembled first years invading his classroom. A part of him still wondered how such small people could take up so much space. With their runny noses and grubby hands reaching out to defile all and sundry. He was again most thankful he’d never had even the slightest urge to procreate. 

“There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don’t expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potions making. However,” He said sternly, glancing briefly in Draco’s direction. “For those select few who possess the predisposition I can teach you how to bewitch the mind, ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle glory, brew fame and even put a stopper in death.”

Looking around at the students he noticed that most of them were at least attempting to pay attention. One, however, was not. He felt his jaw clench as he looked down at the busily writing form of one Harry Potter. His first real day and already the boy was showing his disregard for the authority of others. 

“Then again maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to not pay attention. Mr. Potter, our new celebrity, what exactly is so fascinating that you feel the need not to keep your eyes to the front?”

“Nothing Sir.” Potter replied softly, cheeks tinged red as he looked down at his desk.

“Hardly nothing I’m sure.” Severus said, moving forward to look down at the parchment Potter had been so diligently scribbling on seconds before. He felt a twinge of surprise as he looked down at his own words, short hand of course. The boy had actually been taking notes. It was… disconcerting. He’d been prepared for a spoiled, mouthy little dunderhead that shirked all forms of authority and acted as though he were better than all those around him. Keeping his astonishment in check, he moved back to the front of the class to begin the rest of his lecture. 

 

Rushing into the bathroom behind Professor McGonagall and Professor Quirrel Severus fought not to release the sigh of relief that tried to escape his tired lungs as he spotted the incapacitated troll. He had a fairly good idea just who was behind the troll attack and spared a glance at Quirrel. The cut on his leg twinged and he held back a grimace as he felt eyes on him. Turning he saw young Potter staring down at his leg and flicked his robes over it quickly as Minerva first berated and then rewarded the children. As she turned to head back to Gryffindor tower he was tempted to escort the children as well, not wanting to leave them alone with the other professor but knew that would only draw suspicion. Casting a scathing glance in Quirrel’s direction, he turned and swept out of the room. 

 

“I still think it was Professor Snape.” Ron said, thinking back on the troll attack.

“No, he’s a teacher.” Harry denied, refusing to believe it. He liked Professor Snape, as gruff and abrupt as he was. There was something about the man that gave Harry a sense of security. He couldn’t explain it; especially since Ron seemed to find the man so distasteful but he couldn’t deny the constant need he seemed to feel to be closer to the potions master. “He’s supposed to protect the school.”

“That doesn’t mean that’s what he’s doin’ though.” 

“I’m with Harry.” Hermione said, rolling her eyes at Ron. “But we can still keep an eye on him just in case.”

Harry glanced up from his meal to see Professor Snape making his way towards them. He seemed to be limping slightly but Harry knew the man wouldn’t appreciate anyone making a comment about it. He was still graceful though, Harry noticed, forcing himself not to sigh as the man stopped in front of him.

“Good luck today, Potter. Then again, now that you’ve proven yourself against a troll a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you. Even if it is against Slytherin.”

As he turned to walk towards the head table Harry watched him go, pleased to have received even a little recognition from the man, only to be brought out of his thoughts by a snort from Ron.

“Slimy git, I bet he’s told them all to rough you up, better look out Harry.”

However, Harry chose to ignore him, Professor Snape had wished him luck and he would try his hardest during the match, hopefully the professor would be pleased. 

 

Sitting on his new broom Harry tried to focus on the game. It was difficult though, while he tried to keep an eye out for the snitch his gaze kept wandering back towards the stands. Namely, the stand that held the professors, namely the bench that Professor Snape sat on. He briefly noticed Professor Quirrel sitting not far behind him before he looked back at Snape again. He seemed to be focused solely on the game and Harry wondered if he watched him at all. 

Gryffindor scored ten points before Slytherin snagged the quaffle but it didn’t take long for Gryffindor to get it back. Harry watched as Flint sent the bludger directly at Wood and cringed as his team captain plummeted towards the ground. It didn’t surprise him in the least the Slytherin had to cheat to get ahead. Suddenly the snitch flew just past his head and he turned to race after it only to lose control of his broom. As it dipped and bucked in an attempt to throw him off, he tightened his grip and tried desperately to hang on. 

Severus watched as Potter lost control of his broom, flinging left and right as he clung to it. He knew there had to be some sort of outside interference for that to happen, he wouldn’t have been allowed to join the team if he couldn’t control his own broom. He wasn’t sure just whom the culprit was but he knew he had to do something if the boy had any hope of surviving. Thinking quickly, he began a counter curse and watched as the broom seemed to level itself out.

 

As his broom righted, Harry swung back astride it, racing after the snitch. After a brief tussle with the Slytherin seeker he honed in on the little gold ball and chased it towards the ground. Getting his balance, he stood up on his broom, reaching out to dive for the snitch just as the front of his broom clipped the ground, sending him tumbling. Getting back to his feet, he felt the little thing fluttering in his throat and gagged, sending it back into his mouth and then into hands as he spit it out. The crowd went wild and he grinned, looking up into the stands at Professor Snape who seemed unmoved. Holding up the snitch he nodded towards his teammates before looking directly at his professor, holding the snitch up like an offering. 

 

Ron was adamant that Professor Snape had been the one to try to sabotage Harry’s broom but he wouldn’t hear it. After all, the professor hadn’t looked the least bit disappointed that Harry hadn’t fallen to his death. 

“It was him!” Ron exclaimed, annoyed that his friend wouldn’t even consider the possibility that Snape was an evil git. “We saw it Harry, tell him Hermione!”

“It did look like that Harry, he was focused solely on you and he was muttering, your broom didn’t stop jerking till I set his cloak on fire.”

“Maybe… maybe he was trying to help, trying to make the broom stop.” Harry replied lamely. He didn’t want to believe that Professor Snape would try to hurt him, he couldn’t.

“Don’t be dense Harry, he was trying to kill you.”

 

Severus slammed Quirrel into the wall. He knew the fool was up to something he just wasn’t sure what. He did know that it had to do with a certain Gryffindor though. He’d had time to deduce that Quirrel had been responsible for the broom incident at the Quidditch match and he’d noticed the bumbling professor watching the boy when he thought no one noticed. He wasn’t sure what was behind the sudden interest but he knew whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

“You don’t want me as your enemy Quirrel.”

“W-what do you mean?” Quirrel stuttered out.

“You know perfectly well what I mean.” Severus said.

Feeling the air shift around him Severus turned to his right and stared, he knew something was there but he wasn’t sure what it was. Reaching out he closed his hand around nothing and frowned before turning back to the other professor. 

“We’ll have another little chat soon, when you’ve had time to decide where your loyalties lie.”

 

Ducking behind the door and away from Filch and the professors Harry approached the mirror slowly, taking in the engravings around the frame before standing directly in front of it. The image inside shifted, showing only him at first before his parents or what he assumed his parents to look like came into view. They smiled down at him and he looked on in wonder. He never thought he’d get to see them again, stand next to them. Then the image shifted again, blurring a bit before a figure in black stood behind him. He looked up in surprise to see Professor Snapes face. 

Turning quickly he looked behind him but there was no one there before turning back to the mirror. The professor looked down at him, the corner of his mouth turned up in the faintest of smiles as he reached out and touched Harry’s shoulder. As the image of the professor seemed to pull him back Harry imaged he could feel his back resting against a warm solid chest. He wanted to close his eyes but he couldn’t, if he did the image would fade and then he’d be left with nothing. As a black clad arm slid around his waist Harry bit his lip, feeling for that moment, cherished. 

 

He still didn’t understand the mirror exactly. He’d shown it to Ron only to find out the boy saw something entirely different when he looked into it. Of course, he hadn’t wanted Ron to see Professor Snape but he wouldn’t have minded if the other boy had seen his parents. But Ron had only seen visions of making Hogwarts history and Harry knew then that the images inside the mirror would never be real. A very harsh realization indeed. The image would often change as he sat there, sometimes showing him his parents and other times showing him with Professor Snape. It pained him more each time to think that the things he wanted would be forever out of his grasp. 

“Back again Harry?” Professor Dumbledore asked from behind him. “I see that you, like so many others before you have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust by now you realize what it does. Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself exactly as he is.”

“So then it shows us what we want.” Harry asked, glancing back at the mirror as the image changed again. “Whatever we want?”

“Yes and no. It shows us nothing more than the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts. Now you Harry, your greatest wish is to be loved and so it shows you who you feel the most capable of loving you wholly and unconditionally. But Harry, this mirror gives us neither knowledge nor truth. Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad. It will be moved tomorrow and I must ask that you do not look for it again. It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

Following Dumbledore away from the mirror Harry glanced back at it one last time, wishing silently that he could stay. 

 

Harry didn’t really know what else they could do. Dumbledore had been called to London and Voldemort had already been in the forbidden forest. Ron was still convinced that Snape was behind the whole thing and Hermione was starting to agree with him. He just wished he could talk to Professor Snape although he knew that if he was guilty there was no way the professor would tell him anything useful. 

“I’m telling you, it was Snape!” Ron said for the third time. 

“Really Harry, who else could it have been?”

“I don’t know Hermione but I don’t think it was him.” Harry said, fussing with his robes. He knew they thought he was being naïve but he felt it, felt that it wasn’t Snape and though he couldn’t explain it, he knew he was right. 

“Good afternoon.” Professor Snape said, noting how Harry ducked his head as he joined them. “Now what would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside on a day like this?”

“Um… we were just…” Hermione trailed off, not able to come up with a good excuse.

“You ought to be careful, people will think you were up to something.”

Harry watched as he turned and swept away before turning back to Ron and Hermione. 

“Now what?” Ron asked, glaring after the potions master. 

“Tonight, we go down the trap door.” 

 

Harry stood on the platform waiting to board the train that would take him back to London proper. He knew both Ron and Hermione were excited to be going home but he had nothing of the like to look forward to. His life at the Dursley’s was far from comfortable and he knew that as soon as he got back it’d be business as usual. The prospect almost made him want to jump in front of the train. He saw Professor Snape herding a group of Slytherins onto the train and slowly approached the man. He hadn’t had the chance to talk to the professor after everything that had happened but he did know that he wanted to thank him. He’d known all along that Snape had been protecting him but to hear Quirrel confirm it had been validating. He hadn’t hesitated to tell Ron and Hermione what he’d learned. And afterwards, when he’d finally been tucked into his own bed waiting for the final feast in the great hall he’d clutched his pillow close and imagined it was his professor, holding him and caressing his hair, loving him. 

“Professor Snape.” Harry said softly, trying to get the mans attention. 

“Potter.” 

“I just wanted to thank you Sir, I know that you tried to protect me.”

“As a teacher it is my duty to protect all the students.”

“Well, yes Sir but…” 

He wasn’t ready to dismiss it as simple duty, didn’t want to believe that Professor Snape felt nothing for him. The thought was just too painful. 

“You will miss the train boy.”

Screwing up his courage, Harry reached out, hugging the professor tightly before pulling away to run back towards Ron and Hermione.

 

Severus stood stock still, eyes wide as he watched Potter run back towards his little friends. The boy was a complete enigma, doing the unexpected time and again. Shaking his head a little, he turned to head back towards the carriages, ignoring the warmth that settled around his middle where the boys’ arms had been but moments before.


	2. 2. The Chamber of Secrets

  
Author's notes: same as first chapter  


* * *

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

2\. The Chamber of Secrets

The only thing Harry thought about the entire summer was going back to Hogwarts. Scrubbing the floor or cooking dinner, it didn’t matter, all he thought about was walking into the great hall and seeing Professor Snape at the head table, confirming the feelings he’d been having for the man. Something else happened that summer as well, something he couldn’t tell anyone. One night as he’d laid in bed and thought about the last time he’d seen Professor Snape he’d gotten his first real erection. He knew that before there were times when he’d wake up sated in the morning, not really sure why. However, this time was different, he knew why he was feeling that way and it had solely to do with his professor. 

He’d rolled over onto his stomach, pressing his hips against the mattress slowly and imagined it was his professor. It didn’t take long and he’d had to bite his lip to keep from crying out but afterwards he’d felt peaceful but also a little sad. If only because it hadn’t actually been Professor Snape he’d rubbed off against. He did it at least once a night, sometimes more if he wasn’t too tired afterwards. And every time he thought about Snape, his black eyes, long fingers, and his voice. His voice alone was enough to make Harry shiver. Moreover, with no letters from his friends he had a lot of free time after he did his chores and cooked for the Dursley’s. 

 

Severus tried to reign in his temper, he really did. Nevertheless, the thought of children, driving a stolen flying car, it made him exceedingly angry. Weasley looked embarrassed but Potter looked downright terrified. He kept looking up under his lashes at Severus as if he were waiting to be struck. 

“You were seen! By no less than seven muggles. Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our entire world and your safety! What if you had crashed, harmed others as well as yourselves?”

“I’m sorry Professor!” Harry cried suddenly, blinking back tears. “We couldn’t get through the platform, please don’t be angry.”

“But I am, if you were my charges I’d have sent you both back where you came from. It is obvious that you can’t seem to use magic without abusing it.”

“Come now Severus, I’m sure it was a mistake.” Professor Dumbledore said, ambling into the room with McGonagall behind him. “They are here and they are safe, as they should be.”

“Headmaster, they have put us all at risk with their behavior, if they had been harmed-“

“But they were not, they are safe now and I’m sure this won’t be happening again.”

That seemed to be the end of the conversation as Minerva and Albus led them out and Severus sat back down at his desk. As difficult as it was to admit he had been concerned when he heard that the Potter boy had put himself in danger, even if it was to come back to Hogwarts. He had on occasion, thought back on the last time he had seen Potter and the unexpected affection the boy had shown him. It was something he wasn’t at all used to and he wondered why it seemed to play so heavily in his mind. He’d never given other students a second glance before and he certainly didn’t plan to start with Potter but he seemed to be unable to shake the boy from his thoughts.

 

“Do you think he’s terribly angry?” Harry asked, looking around at his small group of friends.

“He who?” Seamus asked, lounging against the table as they waited for Professor Sprout.

“Professor Snape, for what we did.”

“Snape’s always angry Harry.” Ron replied, rolling his eyes. “Besides, why do you care?”

“I just do… I just don’t want him to be angry with me.”

“Fat chance.” Seamus said. “He’s got to be angry at someone, better you than me.”

Harry frowned, hoping Seamus was wrong. He never intended to take that car but he had to get to school. He just couldn’t go back to his aunt and uncle, they’d have just locked him back up in his room and he’d never have gotten to see Professor Snape again. 

 

Severus watched on silently as Argus accused Potter and his little friends of petrifying his cat. He’d seen Potter in action and he knew the boy wasn’t skilled enough. And unlike the boys father he wasn’t malicious enough to pull off a stunt like that. 

“If I may Headmaster.” Severus said, stepping out of the darkness. “Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Potter looked over at him with a shy smile, looking down quickly when he caught his eye. 

“However the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don’t recall seeing Potter at dinner.”

 

Harry looked up again as Snape mentioned that he hadn’t been at dinner, shocked that the professor had actually looked for him. He wanted to twist a bit in glee but he knew it wouldn’t look good, considering. But that did mean the professor watched for him and that was enough to fuel a few of his late night fantasies. Biting his lip he glanced back at Snape only to see the mans eyes fixed to his mouth. He felt heat rise up in his cheeks as he looked away.

 

Severus sat in the stands next to Lucius, watching the game with disinterest. He’d never been a fan of Quidditch and school matches were even less appealing to him. He could get more done in his lab than he could watching a bunch of silly children flying around. But as the head of Slytherin, he was required to attend and with Draco now on the team it would be even more expected. He watched as the bludger seemed to chase Potter around the field, never quite catching him. It slammed into the stands as the boy tried to get away from it, all the while trying to catch the snitch. He saw Draco take off after Potter, down into the trenches surrounding the field. He tried to keep track of them both but they moved too fast and as Draco came flying out of the trenches, arse over elbow, he jumped to his feet. Lucius of course merely glanced at his son but never bothered to move. 

He saw Potter fly out of the trenches, straining for the snitch and winced as the bludger slammed into his arm. There was no way it wasn’t broken but the boy kept going, adjusting himself to reach out with his other hand as he rolled to the ground. As it was announced that Potter had indeed caught the snitch he was relieved that it was all over until he saw the bludger plummet towards the ground, more specifically, towards Potters head. The boy rolled swiftly but just as he rolled back, the bludger came down again, where his head had been seconds before. He looked towards the headmaster just as the bludger came down again, this time between the boys legs and moved to leave the stands and head for the field. By the time he reached the small group of Gryffindors surrounding the boy the idiot Lockhart was already there, kneeling down beside him.

 

“I think my arm is broken.” Harry said, cradling the injured appendage to his chest. He tried to ignore Professor Lockhart as his eyes locked onto Professor Snape who stood a few feet from the crowd. He wanted the professor to come closer, possibly pick him up, hold him a little. No matter how young that sounded in his head. He just wanted Professor Snape. 

“Not to worry Harry, I’ll fix that arm of yours straight away.” Lockhart said, pulling out his wand.

“No… no… not you.”

“Poor boy doesn’t know what he’s saying, this won’t hurt a bit.”

As the professor performed the spell Harry watched as his arm sagged sadly, bones completely dissolved. 

“Ah yes, well, that can happen sometimes. The point is the bones are no longer broken.”

“Because there are no bones left you fool.” Snape said, glaring down at the smiling Lockhart. “He needs to be taken to Madam Pomfrey.”

Hagrid bent down to pick him up and Harry held his arm tighter to his chest as he was carried away. 

 

Severus strode casually across the dueling mat as Lockhart introduced him. He wouldn’t say it aloud but he’d been waiting for the opportunity to blast the damned fool since he’d come to the school. He’d wanted the Dark Arts position for years and then Lockhart had come along, totally incompetent and snatched it right out from under him. 

 

Harry watched as Professor Snape moved into position, eyes locked on the tall, lean, black clad body. Without his outer robes, he was exceedingly handsome and Harry wondered how Ron could ever think to call him a bat. As he faced off against Lockhart he seemed completely in control and Harry had no doubt just who would be the winner of the match. As Snape cast his spell he watched, amazed, as Lockhart flew more than a few feet backwards only to land with a thump. Clapping wildly, he stopped only when Ron elbowed him in the side.

 

As Lockhart tried to explain his abysmal failure to the students Severus fought not to roll his eyes. 

“Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach them how to block unfriendly spells, Professor.”

“Excellent suggestion lets have a volunteer pair. Potter and Weasley perhaps.”

“Weasleys’ wand causes devastation with the simplest of spells. May I suggest someone from my own house, Malfoy.”

Nodding at his godson, he stepped back to let the boy take his place. He was fully aware just what sort of damage Weasley could do with a broken wand and he honestly didn’t want to see Potter back in the hospital wing. He watched as they dueled; smile twitching at the corner of his mouth as Potter got back to his feet. The boy was determined it seemed. He tried not to grin outright as Potter fired back a spell that sent Draco spinning at his feet. Helping the boy back up he watched as Draco got back into position, spitting out his spell like a curse.

“Serpentsortia!”

The snake appeared with a flash of light, slithering towards Potter with deadly intent. Moving forward, he kept an eye on the snake as it crept closer.

“Don’t move Potter, I’ll get rid of it for you.”

“Allow me.” Lockhart said, turning his wand on the snake.

The simple spell only served to aggravate the snake and he watched as Potter stepped closer. 

“Ssssiahasssassshe.” Potter hissed, eyes narrowed on the snake. “Ssssiahassseheth.”

Severus could only stare as the boy spoke perfect Parsel tongue, commanding the snake as if it were second nature. The snake moved closer to one of the frightened Hufflepuffs, obviously ready to attack. 

“Ssssiahassseheth!” 

As the snake turned eyes to Potter, fangs bared and ready to strike Severus raised his wand. 

“Epera Evanesca!”

The snake started to smolder from the center out and he watched as it crumbled into dust and disappeared entirely. Looking back at Potter the boy seemed shocked before his friends dragged him away. 

 

Harry walked through the corridors, head down as he moved towards his common room. He knew everyone thought he was the heir of Slytherin and he couldn’t help that. He was honestly starting to wonder that himself. And Professor Snape, the way he had looked at Harry when he spoke to that snake. He hoped the man wasn’t upset with him for something he couldn’t control. He’d make it stop if he could, if Professor Snape would just look at him as he used to. Almost lost in his thoughts, that’s when he heard them. Hufflepuffs huddled together talking about how he had sent that snake after Justin. He hadn’t! He didn’t want anyone to be hurt and they all thought he did it on purpose. They went on to say everyone that’d crossed him in some way had wound up petrified and he knew it was true. First Mrs. Norris, Filchs’ cat and then little Colin Creevey. The boy was a prat but he didn’t want him to be hurt. 

 

Severus looked at the wall and sighed. Another message indeed. Lockhart finally decided to deign them with his presence, mumbling something about oversleeping. 

“What have I missed?”

“Just another attack, your time to shine has finally come it seems.” Severus drawled, eyeing the man with distaste. 

“Wh-what?”

“You did say you knew the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, now is your chance to end this madness.”

As the other professors continued to discuss just who had been taken he glanced down the hall to see Potter and Weasley huddled around a corner. He knew they had heard everything and because it was the youngest Weasley that had been abducted they wouldn’t hesitate to act, Gryffindor bravery and all that. He only hoped whatever foolishness they chose to partake in wouldn’t cost them their lives. 

 

Harry approached the potions classroom slowly. They’d already had the final feast in the great hall and he’d wanted to say a private goodbye before leaving for the summer. Knocking softly, he waited for the call to enter before stepping inside. Professor Snape sat at his desk going over who knew what considering the school year was over. 

“Professor Snape I just… I wanted to say Happy Summer.”

“That was a very foolish thing you did Potter.” Snape said, looking up from the papers on his desk. “Very foolish and very brave.”

“Yes Sir.”

“One would hope that such actions wouldn’t be necessary in the future. It would be a shame for your life to end prematurely.”

“Thank you Sir.” Harry replied, smiling shyly. Though the words were abrupt the message had been clear, Snape didn’t want Harry to risk his life, to die. A sense of warmth settled in his chest and he wondered what the professor would do if he were to hug him again but decided not to press his luck. “Goodbye Sir.”

“Goodbye Mr. Potter.”


	3. 3. The Prisoner of Azkaban

  
Author's notes: same as first chapter  


* * *

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

3\. The Prisoner of Azkaban

Moving around the table to collect the dishes, Harry struggled not to dump the half empty plates on Marge’s head. The woman was evil as far as he was concerned. She’d been nothing but hateful to him ever since he’d moved in with the Dursley’s for no other reason than because she could. He knew if it’d been up to her Vernon and Petunia would have shipped him off to some boys’ home long ago. Setting the dishes on the counter, he looked up in time to see Marge tip her glass and let her ugly little dog dip his tongue inside it. Just as he rolled his eyes Marge looked up and fixed him with a glare.

“Don’t roll your eyes boy, I suppose it’s too much to hope that you’ve been taught any manners by that place Vernon sends you, what’s it called again?”

“St. Brutus Marge, best place for boys like him.” Vernon said, taking a drink of his brandy. 

“Boys like him?”

“Queers.” Dudley said snidely, never tearing his gaze from the television in front of him.

Harry’s eyes widened as Marge turned a malicious look in his direction.

“Always knew the boy was off.” She sneered, her look one of complete disgust. “Not fit for polite company, probably got it from his father.”

“That’s a lie!”

“What did you say boy?”

“I said it’s a filthy lie, you old bat.” Harry said, watching in satisfaction as her glass shattered in her hand. 

Petunia jumped but Marge didn’t seem fazed. 

“You, go to bed!” Vernon ordered, watching Harry warily. 

“No Vernon, he needs to know the truth, the boy is worthless, just as his father and mother were before him. A couple of worthless drunks-“

“Shut up!” Harry yelled, incensed by the woman’s nerve. “Shut your mouth!”

As Marge raised a finger in his direction he watched, eyes wide, as her hand began to inflate. It wasn’t long before the rest of her soon followed and he could only stare as she floated right up out of her chair. 

 

Standing in one of Hogwarts many hallways Harry waited for Professor Snape. He’d ducked out of dinner early in hopes of catching the man before he headed for the dungeons. Seeing the tall figure in black sweep out of the teachers’ entrance, he moved forwards quickly. 

+++

“Professor Snape.”

“Yes?” Severus said, turning to face Potter.

He’d heard about the boys encounter with the dementors on the train. While he was briefly concerned, he knew that if there’d been any permanent damage he and the other staff would have been told. 

“I was wondering Sir, if you had the time, if you’d tell me a bit more about the um… the dementors.” The boy replied, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth briefly. 

“I’m sure Lupin would be better equipped, he is the new Dark Arts professor after all.”

Potter looked stricken for a moment before he seemed to nod in resignation and Severus watched as he turned to head back down the hall. 

+++

Watching the other students’ leave the grounds Harry sighed, leaning further against the rail in front of him. He’d wanted to go into Hogsmeade with the others but after what had happened with Marge there had been no way Vernon would sign the release slip. Professor Lupin stood a bit behind him, obviously waiting for Harry to acknowledge his presence. 

“So, no Hogsmeade eh?” Lupin asked, obviously tired of waiting. 

“No, I left before I could get my slip signed.”

“Ah yes, you live with your aunt and uncle?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“I wish my parents were alive.” Harry said, ignoring the professor’s previous comment. The man had no idea how bad it was but Harry didn’t feel the need to enlighten him.

“Your parents were great people.” Lupin said, nodding at Harry’s startled look. “I knew them well, we attended Hogwarts together. It’s remarkable how you are such a mix of them both.”

“What were they like?”

“Your father was quite the prankster, I trait I hear he has passed on to you and your mother, well, she saw the beauty in everything and everyone, even when they did not see it in themselves.”

Harry turned to glance at the professor only to see his gaze fixed on something below them. Looking down he saw Professor Snape striding away from the castle towards the forbidden forest. He wondered just what the professor meant by that but decided not to ask. He wasn’t sure how he would feel to know of Harry’s interest in Professor Snape and he thought it was best not to make it obvious. 

+++

Severus approached the headmaster as he stepped into the great hall. Children were packed inside like a bunch of sardines, hoping to find safety within its walls. 

“The dungeons have been checked, no sign of Black there or anywhere else in the castle.”

“He didn’t find what he was looking for.” Albus said, nodding a bit as he moved between the rows of children.

“Fascinating how he managed to enter undetected, one would think he had an accomplice inside the castle itself.”

“Severus.”

“It is hardly an unbelievable possibility.”

“I do not believe that any of the professors would risk the students well being by bringing Black into the castle.”

Severus knew Albus would hear no more but that didn’t do anything to ease his mind. He knew how close Lupin and Black had been in school and he wouldn’t be even momentarily surprised if it came out that Lupin had been assisting Black. Glancing down at the sleeping figure of Potter, he considered warning the boy about keeping his distance from Lupin, for his own safety. 

+++

“Turn to page 394.” Severus said, sweeping towards the front of the class as the shutters closed with a snap. 

“Excuse me sir but, where is Professor Lupin?” Potter asked, leaning against his desk. 

“He’s unable to resume his classes this morning, now, all of you, turn to page 394.”

Setting up the image projector Severus tried very hard not to scowl as Ms. Granger ran off at the mouth again. His lesson that day had a purpose, only meant for one person to truly understand. The boy just had to be smart enough to notice what Severus was trying to say. He wanted to just say it outright and get it over with. Tell the boy that Lupin was a werewolf and a known acquaintance of Black. To keep his distance until they knew for sure that Lupin wasn’t planning some scheme with Black to get the boy killed. However, Albus had already brushed his concerns aside. Therefore, he was forced to do it in a roundabout way. 

“Now, which if you can tell me the difference between an Animagus and a werewolf?”

Grangers’ hand shot up, flailing wildly and he would have ignored it if anyone else had bothered to raise their hands as well but they hadn’t

“An animagus is a wizard that chooses to become an animal but a werewolf has no choice. It hunts humans, and will only respond to the call of its own kind.” 

“Ms. Granger, 5 points for being accurate and 10 points from Gryffindor for speaking out of turn.”

That seemed to work her into a snit and he ignored her, focusing instead on the person seated next to her. Potter was staring down at a piece of parchment, frowning a bit before crumpling it into his hand. 

“Now, I expect two full rolls of parchment on werewolves by Monday morning, with emphasis on how to recognize one.”

Everyone nodded in resignation, everyone except Potter who was at that moment staring out the window.

“Mr. Potter, you will be staying after class to go over all the things you missed while looking out the window, the rest of you are dismissed.”

+++

He hadn’t meant to lose focus, he’d just had so much on his mind and to make things worse he hadn’t had a chance to talk to Professor Lupin about the dementors. He knew they still roamed the grounds and it made him uneasy. Sirius Black was still on the loose and he’d managed to piss off Professor Snape. Hermione gave him a sympathetic glance as she packed up her things while Ron settled for glaring at Professors Snape’s back before following her out the door. 

“I’m sorry Professor, for not paying attention.”

“These lessons may very well save your life one day Potter.” Snape said, turning to face him from his spot at the head of the class. “And yet you feel justified in your lack of interest.”

“No Sir, it’s not lack of interest I’ve just… I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, that’s all.”

“Such as?”

“Well, Sirius Black and Professor Lupin-“

“Lupin can take care of himself.” Snape said and if Harry wasn’t mistaken, he sounded almost… jealous. “You needn’t concern yourself.”

“I know Sir, I just can’ t seem to help it.”

“You must try, you have other things to worry about in the future and I don’t just mean your Quidditch match this weekend.”

+++

After the twins gave him the Marauders Map Harry spent a lot of time looking at it. Sometimes he’d just sit in his bed and watch Snape pace in the dungeons. He knew it was spying technically but he couldn’t seem to help himself. Flipping through it again, his eyes narrowed as he caught sight of one of the many wandering scrolls. The last he’d heard that particular person was dead so it made no sense for him to be wandering the halls of Hogwarts at night. Climbing out of bed, he decided to go investigate. 

Walking down the darkened corridor, Harry looked down at the map again with a frown. He couldn’t see anyone but the map showed Peter Pettigrew moving through the same hall he was. Turning a bit he used his wand to lighten the halls just enough so that he could see but he still didn’t see the man. Looking back down at the map he watched as the little scroll baring Pettigrews' name scurried right past him. Huffing in frustration, he went to close the map when he saw Professor Snape’s scroll moving in his direction. Closing the map quickly, he said the incantation and stuffed it into his pocket. Just as he extinguished the light at the end of his wand Professor Snape moved around the corner and lit his.

“Out of your dorm after curfew, what were you thinking Mr. Potter?” Snape asked, stepping closer.

“I was… um… looking for you.”

“Really, and just what did you need to see me about that couldn’t wait until class?” 

“Well, it’s personal Sir and it couldn’t wait.”

“I see and you couldn’t have spoken to Professor McGonagall about it?”

“No Sir, I don’t think she would understand.” Harry replied, feeling a little bold. “I’ve been having these… feelings.”

“Indeed, what sort of feelings?”

“Inappropriate feelings Sir, for a professor.” Harry said, moving closer to Snape, hoping he wouldn’t be turned away.

“Ah well, I’m sure Professor Lupin-“

“Did I hear my name?” Professor Lupin said, stepping out of the shadows. “Harry, why don’t I walk you back to your dorms hmm?”

“Yes Sir.”

As Professor Lupin led him away Harry couldn’t help but to look back at Professor Snape as they headed towards the Gryffindor dorms. 

 

Reaching the portrait Professor Lupin stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“I need you to turn out your pockets Harry.”

“But… Professor-“

“I would be remiss in my duties as a professor at this school if I did not ensure all it’s students safety and I don’t believe you were out wandering the halls for the sole purpose you expressed to Professor Snape.”

Stuffing his hands into his pockets with a sigh, Harry pulled out the map.

“It’s just a map professor and it doesn’t work anyway.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because, it showed someone there that I know to be dead.” Harry said, crossing his arms.

“And who would that be?”

“Peter Pettigrew Sir.” 

+++

It had been the longest night of his life so far, and not just because he lived it twice. He’d learned many things over the course of those few hours, things about his family and friends and about himself. He also lost two people that were very important to him though he knew it wasn’t forever. One day Pettigrew would be caught and when that day came Sirius would be back in his life for good and hopefully Professor Lupin as well. He wasn’t sure where the werewolf was headed but he had a feeling that wherever that was Sirius would be there waiting. Neither had to say anything for Harry to understand the love the two obviously felt for one another. 

Walking into the great hall, he saw Ron and Hermione crowded around one of the long tables, the rest of the Gryffindors there as well.

“What’s this then?” He asked, coming to stand next to Ron.

“It’s yours.” Ron said, gesturing to the broom laid out on the table. “They made me open it.”

The twins just grinned madly as Harry rolled his eyes. The broom was magnificent, a newer model than his last, a firebolt if he wasn’t mistaken. Looking towards the professors’ table, he saw Snape glance in his direction and smiled. The man had obviously forgiven him for his behavior in the Shrieking Shack. He didn’t smile back but he did give a subtle nod of his head and Harry gripped his broom tight.

“Who wants to go for a ride?”

+++

(I realize that technically, it was Sirius who bought Harry the firebolt but as you can see I thought it’d suit the story best if it was someone else. Also, it always bugged me how a man that spent the last 12 years in Azkaban would have access to those sort of funds when in reality all his accounts would have been frozen the moment he escaped to prevent him from withdrawing anything in order to get away.)


	4. 4. The Goblet of Fire

  
Author's notes: same as first chapter  


* * *

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

4\. The Goblet of Fire

 

The room was dark, a muted glow from the fireplace the only light. He was stretched out across a bed, a thin layer of sweat coating his skin as he shifted restlessly. Severus knelt between his splayed legs, the firelight flickering and casting shadows across his face. He could feel the fine long boned fingers as they slowly crept up his calves, sure and steady as they moved on to his thighs. His hips gave an involuntary thrust as he felt Severus tighten his grip a fraction, drawing a moan from low in his chest. He tried to reach out, to pull Severus down and on top of him but his hands were gently nudged away. As he felt Severus lightly caress the line of his hip, he spread his legs further, silently begging for more. 

Just as Severus moved to comply, the dream shifted. Instead of flat on his back he was on his feet, walking towards an open doorway. He could see inside but just barely as he stood a few feet away. There were three men in the room, one hidden by the chair in which he sat, one at the mans feet and the other standing a few feet away. He recognized only the one standing, the spineless traitor Peter Pettigrew. The man on the floor was unknown to him but he could guess whom they spoke to. 

“Perhaps… if we were to do it without the boy…” Peter stuttered out, half bowing as he contradicted his lord. 

“No! The boy is everything, it cannot be done without him and it will be done exactly as I say.” Voldemort hissed, obviously displeased by his toadies words. 

“I will not disappoint you my lord.”

That from the man kneeling on the floor before the chair and as he glanced down he watched a very large snake slither past into the room. Jumping back, he kept one eye on the snake and the other on the rooms occupants, hoping to remain unnoticed. 

“Good, first you will gather our old comrades, send up a sign.” Voldemort said, his voice cracking as if from disuse. “Nagini tells me the old muggle caretaker is listening at the door, step aside Wormtail and let me welcome him properly.”

As Peter moved swiftly out of the way, he didn’t have time to react as a flash of green light erupted as if from nowhere. The last thing he heard were the words, “Avada Kedavra!”

+++

Jerking awake Harry gasped for breath, realizing it was just a dream. Hermione looked down at him; worry clearly written across her face.

“Alright there Harry?” Hermione asked, raising the candle she held to get a better look at him. “You were moaning for a bit and then you just started awake.”

“Bad dream is all, you just get here?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Last night.”

“Hmm, well up you get.” Hermione said, moving towards Ron’s bed. “Get up Ronald!”

Ron jerked awake as well, clutching the covers to his chest when he saw just who had woken him.

“Bloody hell.” He choked out, tightening his grip on the covers in an attempt to preserve his modesty.

“Oh honestly, get up and get dressed, we’ve got breakfast and a long walk ahead of us.” Hermione said, heading for the door. “Don’t you dare fall back asleep!”

As Ron flopped back against the bed and closed his eyes Harry couldn’t help but grin. 

+++

Approaching Snape on the first day seemed to have become a habit, Harry thought, walking towards the silent professor as he stood monitoring some of the children still loitering in the great hall. The goblet of fire stood, flaming brightly as some of the students watched it in awe. He only gave it a passing glance, eternal glory being very low on his list of dreams. Professor Snape glanced at him briefly as he stopped next to the man.

“Could I have a word with you sir?” Harry asked, glancing about to see if any of the other students noticed.

“If you can speak here.”

“Yes sir, it’s about… well… the world cup and the…” Harry paused, lowering his voice as a student wandered past. “The Death Eaters.”

“What about them?” Snape asked sharply, finally turning to look at Harry closely. 

“It’s just… I had a dream sir and I was wondering if it meant anything, that’s all.”

“Prophetic dreams are hardly my area of expertise, perhaps you should speak to Professor Trelawny.”

“No offense but she’s a bit fond of doom and gloom,” Harry replied, remembering her prediction in his third year. “I just wanted an honest understandable opinion, that’s all.”

“The headmaster then, he would be willing, I’m sure, to hear about this dream.”

“Yes sir, thank you anyway.”

+++

As he watched Potter walk away Severus ran a hand over his forearm, the very arm that bore the dark mark. He’d felt the pull the night the Morsemorde was cast, the ache that settled throughout his arm as he ignored its call. He knew then that the Dark Lord had returned in one form or another. The spell wouldn’t have been cast otherwise. It was a warning; to those foolish enough to doubt the Dark Lords determination and a summons to those still loyal to his hair brained cause. 

He hadn’t attended what he was sure had been a brutal attack, at Albus’ insistence. He also knew it could cause his loyalty to come into question. The fact that Potter had been in attendance but had also possibly had a dream about the attack beforehand was troubling. It meant the connection the boy had with the Dark Lord was as active as ever which could prove troublesome in the future. He could admit to himself that he harbored no real ill will towards the boy but he knew he would have to discourage him from any social interaction. They couldn’t risk anyone reporting back that Severus kept company with the Boy Who Lived. He only hoped Albus took the time to prepare the boy for what was to come.

+++

Harry sat next to Ron and Hermione as the room filled with students. Glancing at the professor’s he frowned a bit as he saw Professor Moody before moving on to Professor Snape where his eyes lingered. His nerves felt raw and frayed and watching Snape seemed to calm them a bit. Ever since Moody had practically tormented Neville in the DADA classroom, he’d been wary of the man. As an ex Auror he should have known how Neville would react to the Cruciatus being used. And pointing him out as the only person to ever survive the Avada. He might as well have given the classroom free reign to try it on him, just to see if his luck held. The man was starting to make him feel more than a little uncomfortable. 

Dumbledore moved to stand beside the goblet and Harry turned his attention towards the man, curious to hear who had been chosen. 

“And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the champions selection!” Dumbledore announced as the crowd settled down. The flame turned red as it spit out a bit of parchment, which Dumbledore caught with ease. “The Durmstrang champion, Viktor Krum!”

The crowd cheered as Viktor moved from his seat to shake hands with Dumbledore before being shown away. The goblet flared twice more and Fleur and Cedric were both announced as Beauxbatons and Hogwarts champions respectively. Harry clapped along with everyone else and then waited as Dumbledore continued on to present the Tri Wizard cup. The room grew silent however as the goblet flared again, brighter than before, to spit out one last name. Dumbledore caught it, muttering to himself as he looked down at the small piece of paper before looking out into the crowd.

“Harry Potter.” He called, obviously confused if not a little put out by the turn of events. “Harry Potter!”

“Go on Harry, for goodness sakes!” Hermione reprimanded, tugging on his shoulder as he tried to hunch down in his seat. 

Getting to his feet slowly, he wished he could sink down into the very castle itself as all eyes turned to him. He could hear the muttering, see the glares of his peers as he moved towards the headmaster to take the paper from his hands. They all thought he had cheated, ever willing to believe the worst in him regardless of his actions. Catching Professor Snape’s eye as he walked past he hoped the Potions Master didn’t believe the words being tossed about the hall. He knew he wasn’t responsible for his name being thrown into the cup but he honestly had no clue who had done it. Not even the twins would pull that kind of prank. 

+++

Standing a few feet away from Albus as he argued with Minerva over what to do Severus fought the urge to sigh. He knew the boy hadn’t put his name into the cup; it went against his very nature. If there was one thing he had learned over the years, it was that Potter, unlike his father, detested attention. There was just no way he had put himself in that position. He’d seen the practically pleading look on the boys face as he’d headed for the room reserved for the Tri Wizard champions. He’d looked just as shocked as everyone else had. He wanted to tell them just to ignore Barty Crouch and forbid the boy to compete, Albus was powerful enough to do it but he knew they were expecting him to be more than willing to thrust the boy to the wolves so to speak. 

“While I may find this incident hardly coincidental,” Severus said smoothly, cutting into their conversation. “Perhaps we should let things proceed as they may.”

As Minerva squawked her protests and Albus agreed with him he settled back to watch Mad Eye. He’d sat back throughout the entire thing and Severus wondered just what was on the mans mind. Just as Albus charged Moody with looking after Potter Severus promised himself, he’d keep an eye on both of them.

+++

Standing amongst the other champions Harry tried to take his mind off the conversation he’d had with Ron the night before. He couldn’t believe his best friend had basically accused him of being a glory hound! He knew Ron had issues with him being so famous but he’d never actually thought he would turn against him. It just didn’t make sense. He didn’t want to be famous, he’d never for one instant acted as if he enjoyed all the attention he got for being who he was. No amount of fame could make up for the fact that he’d had to lose his parents just to be The Boy Who Lived. 

As Rita Skeeter blathered on he tried to ignore her but she was a very forceful woman. When she grabbed his arm, jerking him away from the others for his interview he couldn’t help but cringe. He didn’t want to talk about himself; he didn’t even want to be a part of the tournament. He just wanted to blend into the background and avoid all the glares that were thrown in his direction. When she led him towards one of the cupboards his stomach filled with dread, she knew more about him than she let on.

“This is cozy.” Rita said, pulling him into the darkened space. 

“It’s a broom cupboard.” 

“You should feel right at home then.” She quipped, pushing him forward. “Don’t mind if I use a quick quotes quill do you?”

“Um… no”

As they sat across from each other, she leaned forward, a speculative glint in her eyes.

“So tell me Harry, here you sit, a mere boy of twelve-“

“I’m fourteen actually.” Harry said, glancing at the quill to see if it even bothered to write down what he’d said.

“About to compete against three students,” She went on as if he’d never even spoke, the glint in her eyes turning malicious. “Not only vastly more emotionally mature and heterosexual than yourself, but they have mastered spells that you wouldn’t even attempt in your dizziest daydreams. Concerned?”

“Well I haven’t really-“ Harry paused, as the first part of her sentence finally registered. “Wait a minute-“

“Of course you’re not any ordinary boy of twelve are you?”

“Fourteen. And how did you know I was-“

“The story is legend.” She said, cutting him off with a smile. “Do you think it was the trauma of your past that influenced you to enter the tournament, regardless of the rules?”

“I didn’t enter.”

“Of course not. Everybody loves a rebel Harry.” Rita assured, giggling a bit before glancing at the quill. “Scratch that. Speaking of your parents, do you think they’d feel proud of your life choices thus far? Or concerned over your obvious pathological need for attention?”

Harry honestly didn’t know how to answer. She’d talked circles around him and he needed a moment to clear his head. One thing he did manage to catch was her reference to his sexuality, something even he wasn’t entirely sure about. Sure, he fancied Snape, could very well love the man but, having never been in love before, he had no idea of his true feelings. How was he supposed to respond to questions he didn’t have the answers to? Glancing at the pad underneath the quill, he suddenly frowned as he read its contents.

“My eyes aren’t glistening with the ghosts of my past!”

+++

After speaking with Sirius and learning of his first task Harry could practically feel the walls closing in around him. It didn’t help that it seemed as if every student at Hogwarts was rooting for his imminent demise. He hadn’t meant to shove Malfoy but the prat was always pushing and after the last few days he’d had, he’d wanted to push back, just a little. Moody had stepped in, transfiguring the blonde haired menace into a ferret but he’d waved the man off when he’d tried to talk to him afterwards. No matter how much animosity a professor felt towards a student, they never attacked them. Not even Snape would do such a thing and he hated just about every student that wasn’t a Slytherin. 

Thinking of Snape made him want to seek the man out and so he did, ignoring those that sneered at him as he headed for the dungeons. A quick knock and a call to enter had him standing in the potions classroom, adjusting the bag on his shoulder as Snape glanced up at him. 

“Yes?”

“Professor… I… how are you?” Harry stammered, inwardly cringing at his choice of words. 

“I am well but you should hardly concern yourself, you have a tournament to prepare for.”

“Right I just… I’m a bit nervous, figured maybe a talk would help.”

“I’m sure your friends are quite capable of simple conversation,” Snape said, frowning a bit. “Except perhaps Mr. Weasley.”

“We’re not actually speaking at the moment sir.”

“Mmm, jealousy I presume.”

“Merlin, he thinks I wanted this!” Harry exclaimed, moving to sit at one of the student tables across from Snape. “I didn’t even enter myself and now everyone hates me.”

“They will get over it, children are notoriously fickle in regards to what they feel.”

“Not always sir I mean… I don’t know what I mean.”

“Perhaps you should think on what you’ll do to win.”

“I haven’t a clue.” Harry groaned, laying his head on the table in front of him. “I mean, dragons, honestly.”

“Indeed and what do you know about dragons?”

“Well most of them are big and have scales and breathe fire and they can fly.”

“And so can you.” Snape said simply, looking back down at the papers stacked upon his desk. 

“But I’m not allowed a broom.”

“You’re allowed a wand.”

Harry sat there for a second as Snape’s words sunk in. He was allowed a wand; he could summon anything as long as he used his wand to do it. He could summon his broom and use it in any way to ensure his own safety. Grinning brightly at the mans genius he bounced up away from the desk and headed for the door.

“Do be sure to close the door behind you.”

“I will sir and thank you!”

 

Harry was peeking out of the tent as the others got ready. He knew he should be focusing on the upcoming task but all that did was make his palms sweat and his stomach ache. He had felt better since his talk with Professor Snape though. The man really was brilliant. And handsome, though not conventionally. And brave, if last year were anything to go by. He was also sitting with the other professors as they watched the arena that held the dragon. He wondered if the man would cheer for him if he succeeded. Letting his mind wander he thought about his very own congratulatory party. It’d be just him and Snape, and snogging, lots of snogging. As his lips slid into a smile, he was startled out of his thoughts by a flash of light. Turning his head quickly, he came face to face with Rita Skeeter. 

“How sweet, daydreaming?”

He wasn’t sure how to respond so he simply shrugged his shoulders, suddenly very uncomfortable. 

“Of course you were.” She said, stepping forward to look in the direction he’d been staring. As she caught sight of Professor Snape, she turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “Or should I say, fantasizing?”

Just as his cheeks began to heat up, he glared fiercely before turning to storm away. He really couldn’t stand that woman.

+++

Feeling eyes on him Harry glanced towards the head table to see Snape frowning in his direction. Flashing him a grin he remembered at the last second that he still had pumpkin juice in his mouth and wanted to slap himself as it suddenly trickled down his chin. That only made Snape frown harder and he sighed as he wiped his face and turned away.

“The nerve of that woman!” Hermione exclaimed, staring at the paper in her hands. “I’m so sorry Harry, really.”

“What?”

“I’m sure it’s rubbish, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“What?”

“That you’ve got one for Snape.” Ron supplied, cringing a little.

“What!” Harry exclaimed, snatching the paper away from Hermione as he tried to scan it quickly. The woman had already told the entire world that he fancied blokes and now she was implying that he was into one in particular. There was the picture of him in the tent and he could admit he did look a bit love sick and then there was a picture of Professor Snape, sneering at the camera. She never implied that Snape harbored the same feelings only that Harry was apparently dealing with a case of unrequited love. “Oh bollocks.”

“I’m sure no one actually believes her mate, she’s nuts and everybody knows that.”

Ron’s words of reassurance really did him no good when he looked around to see Cho Chang and her group of friends giggling and pointing in his direction. His life was officially ruined. 

+++

Ron was still complaining about his lack of date but Harry really couldn’t care less. The one person he wanted to go with would never take him. Writing another note down on his parchment, he glanced at Ron who just kept talking. 

“This is mad, at this rate we’ll be the only ones in our year without dates.” Ron whined, staring at one of the girls behind him. Snape, who at that moment chose to walk directly behind them, shoved Ron’s head back towards the papers in front of him before moving on. Harry tried very hard not to laugh at the disgruntled expression on Ron’s face. “Well, us and Neville.”

“He can always take himself.” Harry replied, thinking back on the dancing he’s spied Neville doing in their room. He really did have grace.

“Neville already has a date.” Hermione said, glaring at them both. 

“How in the world did that happen?”

Harry could see Ron’s point but then he never claimed to understand women. 

“It’s a mystery.”

“Well Hermione, you’re a girl.” Ron started and Harry simply shook his head, he knew what was going to happen and couldn’t help but cringe.

“Oh well spotted.” Hermione scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

“It’s one thing for a bloke to show up alone, for a girl it’s just sad.”

As the book connected with the back of Ron’s head Harry bit his lip, Professor Snape did seem to have impeccable timing. 

“I won’t be going alone, for your information.”

Watching Hermione stand up from her seat and head toward Snape Harry felt a bit sorry for Ron, that was hardly the way to go about asking someone out, as a last resort. 

“What’s with her?” Ron asked, turning to look at Harry as Hermione joined them again.

“Someone’s already asked me and I’ve said yes.” She hissed, grabbing her bag and storming away. 

“Anyway, we’ve just got to grit our teeth and do it, right?”

“Sure.”

“Tonight when we get back to the common room we’ll both have dates, agreed?”

“Yeah.” Harry agreed, knowing that meant that Ron expected him to do something.

+++

He’d managed to secure them both dates to the Yule Ball though he felt utterly ridiculous and, more importantly, like a liar. The Patil twins were sweet girls, pretty in their own ways but he had no interest in them whatsoever. He’d only chosen them because there were two of them, one for both he and Ron. It’d also help to quell the rumors started by Rita Skeeter’s article. 

After his first official dance with Parvati, which had been awkward at best, he’d begged off to get away from the dance floor. As the night wore on Parvati had run off to dance with one of the Durmstrang students and Harry hadn’t minded, choosing to loiter on the side lines as close to Professor Snape as he dared. He wondered if standing next to someone, moving a little as the music played could be considered dancing. If so then technically he’d danced with Snape all night, a thought that made him grin and edge a bit closer. Ignoring the curious looks Ron sent his way he closed his eyes and decided to enjoy the moment.

+++

Standing at the bridge next to Hermione Harry took a deep breath of the cold winter air. If he closed his eyes he could still remember how it felt to dance next to Snape, something he seemed to do often. 

“Harry pay attention, you said you figured the egg out weeks ago, the task is two days from now.”

“I’m sure Viktor’s got it.” Harry said with a roll of his eyes. 

“I wouldn’t know. We have a very non verbal relationship.” Hermione replied, leaning against the railing. “He watches me study and then we snog a bit but that’s not the point.”

“What is the point?”

“The point is you need to figure out that egg.” She said forcefully. “These tasks are horrid and cruel and well, I just worry about you is all.”

“And I appreciate it, really Hermione.”

Just then, Cedric Diggory headed in their direction and Hermione gave him a nod before heading off. 

“Hey Potter.”

“Cedric.”

“How are you?”

“Fabulous.”

“Right, well,” Cedric paused, adjusting the bag on his shoulder. “I never thanked you properly for what you did, I mean, about the first task.”

“You would have done the same.” Harry replied with a shrug.

“Exactly so you know, the prefects bathroom on the fifth floor.”

“What about it?”

“It’s not a bad place for a bath is all, you know, take your egg and just mull things over in the water.”

More than a little confused Harry simply nodded his head, watching as Cedric turned to walk away. 

+++

Settling down into the bath with the egg on the ledge Harry gave a sigh as he came in contact with the hot water. It felt amazing but he still had no clue what to do. The mermaid in the stain glass window gave him a wink before stilling again and he closed his eyes. As he listened to the sound of the water lapping against the bath, he let his head rest back against the edge. Thinking back on the last few days he settled on the thought of Professor Snape at the Yule Ball. It was one of the first times Harry had seen Professor Snape in anything other than his voluminous robes and he’s taken the time to get a good look at what the man usually hid. His long legs were showcased by the trousers he wore, tight enough to be fashionable without being indecent. His top had buttoned all the way up to the neck but it’d fit him across the chest, flattering his wide shoulders and slim waist. 

The more he thought about it the more excited he got and soon he felt his prick give a stir beneath the water. It didn’t take long, with the things running through his head and the slight pressure of the water before he stood at full attention. Giving his hips a little thrust, he felt the warm marble beneath him as he shifted. He tried to picture Snape behind him, close enough to touch as he moved one hand away from the ledge to sink beneath the bubbles. He touched himself gently; teasing his over eager flesh with soft barely there strokes that only served to excite him more. 

Wrapping a hand around his shaft, he gave a soft tug as he bit his lip. He thought of Snape’s voice, rough and hungry as he pulled again, desperately trying to pretend the hand he felt was not his own. Giving his wrist a twist, he ran his fingers down to the head, giving the spongy flesh a caress before moving back down. He could hear his own labored breathing as he sped up, his body begging for release even as he tried to hold off. Two and a half strokes later and he couldn’t hold out any longer.

“Severus!” He cried, slipping down under the water as his back arched away from the side. He barely had time to register knocking the egg into the water with him before a beautiful voice filled his ears. 

“Come seek us where our voices sound, we cannot sing above the ground. An hour long you’ll have to look, to recover what we took.”

Shooting up out of the water, he gasped and spluttered, trying to calm his thundering heart.

“Well that’s one way to figure it out.” A high-pitched voice intoned from near the toilets. 

Turning quickly, Harry almost sighed in relief to see Myrtle staring at him lasciviously. 

“You scared me.”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt but I thought you were done.”

“I… I am.”

“Ah well, you’re still young but then you did figure it out loads faster than the handsome one, Cedric.”

“Um, thanks?”

“No problem dearie, come back any time.” She offered, eyeing him through the bubbles. 

+++

An hour long you’ll have to look, Harry thought, remembering the voice. He had no idea how he was supposed to hold his breath for an hour and swim at the same time. It made absolutely no sense and could potentially kill him. But that’s the point, he thought, frowning deeply. Once again, he cursed whoever had put his name into that goblet. He’d talked to Ron and Hermione but they hadn’t been much help. He needed something to help him breathe underwater and he seriously doubted they’d let him take scuba gear with him. That’d be too easy. Suddenly he perked up as an idea flashed through his head, a potion! There were potions for everything and there was one person in the castle that probably knew all of them.

Approaching the professor had been nerve wracking but he knew he didn’t have any other choice. The man had helped him the last time but he wasn’t sure if he’d be so willing again. The conversation had been short but it’d been well worth the anxiety. 

“Professor Snape.” He said, approaching the man slowly. 

“Yes, Mr. Potter.”

“I was wondering sir, about potions.”

“What about them?” Snape asked curiously, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well sir, is there a potion that can help you breathe under water?”

“Yes there is but it takes days to finish, no matter the maker.”

“Right.” Harry said, shoulders slumping as he turned to walk away.

“Although gillyweed does the same thing in a matter of moments if eaten.”

“Where would I find gillyweed sir?” He asked, turning back around anxiously.

“I happen to have some in my own personal stock, if you’ll follow me.”

+++

He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to help the Potter boy. It had caught him off guard the first time the boy had come to him to talk about the tournament. He’d shrugged it off as yet another oddity of the teenage mind and then the boy had chosen to become his shadow during the Yule Ball. He couldn’t turn without catching sight of the boy out of the corner of his eye. He hadn’t mentioned it to the headmaster but it had made him a bit concerned. That type of behavior usually signaled some sort of infatuation and that was the last thing he needed. The article in the Daily Prophet hadn’t helped matters either. He’d already gotten a few appraising looks from some of the sixth and seventh years, obviously trying to see what they believed The Boy Who Lived saw. 

When he had been approached by Albus about being the thing the boy wanted most he’d almost had a coronary. That had been the last thing he was expecting but he’d turned him down all the same. While he didn’t hate the boy he’d never thought of him in a romantic sense at all, he was fourteen years old for Merlin’s sake. Albus had admitted that the boy had been interested in him since his very first year, a fact that made Severus sputter in denial until he was assured his actions were not in question. Albus had gone on to suggest that when the boy was older he give him another look, stating that they had both lost so much they deserved a little happiness and if they could find it in each other more the better. He’d shooed the meddling old man away but his words seemed to remain.

+++

Stumbling away from Dumbledore’s office Harry shook his head as he thought back on the things he’d learned. Mr. Crouch had sent his own son to Azkaban, there were spies for You Know Who inside the Ministry and Professor Snape had been a death eater. He didn’t want to believe it. The man he… the man he cared about had been a death eater, had followed the one wizard that wanted him dead. What was it that Sirius had said, once a death eater always a death eater? He knew if he told anyone, it would simply cause more trouble. Ron would feel justified in his hatred, Hermione would call him naïve but he couldn’t help the way he felt. It made his head hurt just thinking about it. 

Walking further down the hallway, he heard hushed voices in the potions storeroom and paused. 

“It’s a sign Severus, you know what it means!” an accented voice hissed, obviously speaking to the man he’d just been thinking about. 

The door opened before Snape could answer and Harry was caught, wanting to run but also wanting to speak with his professor. Headmaster Karkaroff stepped out with barely a glance in his direction and Professor Snape stared at him intently. As Harry began to back away Snape took a step forward.

“What’s your hurry Mr. Potter, would you care to ask a question or is eavesdropping a satisfactory way to appease your curiosity?”

“I… were you really a death eater sir?”

“That is a very personal question, I wonder who could have told you.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Harry said sadly, “Is it true?”

“It’s hardly any of your-“

“Just tell me it isn’t true.” He cut in, eyes wide and pleading as the dreams he’d had for the past three years seemed to crumble around him. “Please!”

“I can’t.” Snape said quietly, stepping away from him to shut himself inside the storeroom, leaving Harry to stare at the closed door from the outside. 

+++

Sitting across from Moody Harry tried to still his tears but they just kept falling, albeit silently. In a matter of days everything had changed and there was nothing he could do about it. Cedric was dead, Voldemort had returned and Snape was… He wished that he could just go back; refuse to take part in the tournament before anything could go wrong. 

“Does it hurt?” Mad Eye asked, glancing down at his arm.

“Not so much.” Harry replied softly though he knew it was a lie, everything hurt. 

“I’d better take a look at it.”

Holding up his arm for inspection Harry stared at the wall behind Moody’s shoulder.

“It was a portkey, the cup, someone bewitched it.”

“What was it like, what was he like?”

“Who?”

“The Dark Lord!” Moody clarified, squeezing down on his arm a little harder than necessary. “What was it like to stand in his presence?”

“I don’t know.” Harry replied, jerking his arm away as he eyed Moody warily. “It was like falling into one of my dreams, one of my nightmares.”

Moody nodded a bit as his body started to shake and he stumbled towards one of the little chests that held a mass of vials.

“Were there others? In the graveyard, were there others?”

“I… I never said anything about a graveyard Professor.” Harry said, realizing he’d made a terrible mistake in following Moody away from the others. 

“It was so simple to get you into the tournament and you were so willing to be led. I must say it was a surprise though, Severus helping you as he did. His tastes never ran to little boys, although I’m sure you made it worth his while.”

“It was you all along, you put my name into the goblet of fire.” Harry stated, ignoring the dig at Snape.

“Of course I did, planned to help you along but I never had to, just had to sit back and watch you hang yourself. And now the blood that flows through you, flows through the Dark Lord, as it was meant to from the very beginning.” Mad Eye said, face seemingly melting as he moved closer and closer to Harry. “And now I’ll get my reward for finally putting an end to your miserable life.”

As he raised his wand Harry cringed only to watch as the door burst open with a flash of light. Dumbledore rushed into the room with Snape and Professor McGonagall right behind him. Harry stood back and watched as they restrained Moody, forcing a potion down his throat and questioning him. He watched on silently as the real Mad Eye was found in the chest Harry had seen before and as Moody transformed back into Barty Crouch Jr. convicted Death Eater. It was horrible to watch and Harry knew, painful to experience. As Dumbledore led him away, he took one last look at Snape as he stood over the man, wand drawn and ready for anything. 

+++

Harry stared at his hands, his trunk still not entirely packed on the bed behind him as he thought about the months before. He heard the door open and turned, surprised to see a very somber Snape step into the room. He didn’t close the door behind him but he looked at Harry steadily for a moment before speaking. 

“I am not sorry for helping you succeed in the tasks that were set before you this year but that does not mean I enjoyed your suffering.”

“Thank you sir.” Harry said, unsure of what to say but knowing something needed to be said. “I’m sorry for questioning you.”

“You had every right to question your safety, should the need arise I fully expect you to do it again.”

“Yes sir.”

“Just remember Mr. Potter that though it may be hard to believe at times, you are not alone.”

Gripping one of the bed posts Harry laid his head against it as he watched Snape turn and walk out of the room, feeling strangely hopeful for the first time since the year started, hopeful for the future.


	5. 5. The Order of the Phoenix

  
Author's notes: same as the first chapter  


* * *

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

5\. The Order of the Phoenix.

 

Sitting on the swing in the playground near his family’s house Harry thought back on all the things he’d accomplished over the summer. He’d finally started to sprout a bit of facial hair, not enough to force him to shave every day but it was a start. He cringed at the thought of going back to Hogwarts, face smooth as a babe. His body had also filled out from all the extra work and running with Dudley. He was well on his way to becoming a man, a promising thought. He just didn’t want to be seen as a child anymore, by… anyone. Shaking his head at his own evasive thoughts, he admitted that he didn’t want Snape to see him as a child. Snape didn’t fancy children, or so Barty had said. If the man had been around Severus during his death eater days he would know he supposed. 

He’d also been made a prefect. He’d been stunned but pleased. Prefects were allowed almost free reign about the castle. He could go anywhere when he made his rounds, even the dungeons. And there he was again, thinking of Snape. He couldn’t seem to stop and he wondered if it had anything to do with his hormones but shook that thought off quickly. He’d wanted Snape in one form or another for the past four years and he hadn’t even known what a hormone was back in the beginning. 

Glancing over at the mother and son on the merry go round he tried to ignore Dudley as he and little group of friends moved towards him. He’d thought that they managed to be less hateful to each other over the summer but after Hermione’s brief visit Dudley had gone back to his usual charming self, belittling Harry in front of Vernon and Petunia, picking on him when his friends were around. He’d managed to mostly ignore it but he knew never to trust Dudley. He hadn’t a clue what loyalty was. As he and his friends moved towards him en mass he couldn’t help hearing them laugh over beating up a child.

“Hey Big D.” Harry said, glancing up from the paper in his lap. “Beat up another ten year old?”

“This one deserved it.” Dudley replied, laughing amongst his friends. 

“Five against one, that’s very brave.”

“You’re one to talk, moaning in your sleep every night, bad dreams?”

Harry just rolled his eyes, looking back down at his paper but Dudley wasn’t finished.

“Or was it something else?” He said cruelly, raising his voice a bit higher as he mocked Harry. “Oh Severus, right there! Is that your boyfriend then, you big poof?”

“You know for someone who claims to be straight,” Harry sneered even as his cheeks filled with color. “You spend an awful lot of time thinking about me with other men. You know they used to say that men were queer because they got too much attention from their mums, Dudders, wonder if they still think that.”

He knew he shouldn’t have allowed himself to be baited, shouldn’t have used Petunia’s nickname against the boy but he couldn’t help himself. Throwing words at Dudley was the only way he could fight back and he wouldn’t have felt right about using magic against a Muggle, even one as loathsome as his cousin. 

“Guess it doesn’t matter, your mums dead and you’re still as queer as a nine bob note.”

“Shut up.”

“What, don’t like to hear the truth?” Dudley asked, a malicious grin on his face as his friends cheered him on. “She’s dead Potter and it’s all because of you, regardless of what they tell you at that school of yours you must know that.”

He wondered briefly at Dudley’s sudden ability to read his mind as he shot to his feet, gripping his wand as he thrust it under the boys chin.

+++

Meeting the Order had been interesting but it had hurt to know that Dumbledore had kept him ignorant though he had trusted both Ron and Hermione. He knew Sirius wanted to tell him everything. His godfather had always had faith in him, never doubted that when put to the test he would succeed. It hurt that the man he’d thought of as a mentor hadn’t done the same. Facing the Wizengamot had been utterly terrifying. The way Minister Fudge had looked down at him from his podium, blatantly accusing him of lying. It’d made his stomach knot, the naivety of them all, preferring to live in denial even as they cowered in fear instead of fighting back.

Walking behind Moody and Tonks through the train station Harry watched as Padfoot crept past him between them. Watching the animagus form of his godfather Harry followed behind him down a flight of stairs to one of the glass enclosed waiting rooms. The windows were done up to preserve privacy and Harry was glad of it, the last thing he needed on top of everything else was for his godfather to be taken back to Azkaban. He’d get the kiss for sure if Fudge had his way. 

“Sirius, what are you doing here, if somebody sees you-“

“I had to see you off didn’t I?” Sirius said, cutting him off as he closed the robe he wore around him before ushering Harry closer to sit down. “What’s life without a little risk?”

“I don’t want to see you get chucked back in Azkaban,” Harry said sternly, taking a seat. 

“Oh don’t worry about me. Anyway, I wanted you to have this.”

Looking down at the folded piece of paper Sirius pulled from his pocket he frowned for a second, taking it slowly. As he unfolded it, he looked down at a wizarding picture of a group of people. He saw his parents and Sirius, Hagrid and Moody, Remus. Sirius went on to explain that they were the original members of the Order. Neville’s parents were there as well. He was a mix of both of them it seemed and he wondered if it was safe to show the picture to Neville when he got back to school. 

“Do you really think there’s going to be a war Sirius?”

“It feels like it did before.” Sirius replied, brushing him off as he went to hand the picture back. “You keep it. Anyway, I suppose you’re the young ones now.”

“I don’t feel young.” Harry said ruefully, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“No, I suppose you don’t, you’re a very mature lad and there are things I would like to tell you, things I would like you to understand but I’m not sure if now is the right time.”

“I feel the same way.” Harry replied, thinking about his feelings for Severus, his feelings in general. He knew just from what he’d seen his third year and overheard at Grimmauld Place that Sirius hated Severus. It hurt him to think the only real family he had left and the man he cared so much about detested each other. 

+++

The reception he received in the great hall was less than warm. It seemed as though the only Gryffindors still willing to even be seen in his presence were Hermione, Neville and the Weasleys. The others looked at him as though he were contaminated. It wasn’t the first time his friends had turned their backs on him though and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. As Professor Dumbledore presented their new DADA teacher Umbridge Harry couldn’t help but frown as he recognized the woman. She’d been a part of his hearing, supporting Fudge. He could already tell she’d be trouble and from the look on Snape’s face, he could tell as well. Dumbledore went to move on but the woman interrupted, getting to her feet to stand near the podium in front of the room. 

“Thank you, headmaster, for those kinds words of welcome.” She said, obviously working herself up into a speech. “And how lovely to see all your bright, happy faces smiling up at me. I’m sure we’re all going to be very good friends. The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young wizards and witches to be of vital importance. Although each headmaster has brought something new to this historic school, progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged. Let us preserve what must be preserved, prefect what can be perfected and prune practices that ought to be prohibited.”

Dumbledore encouraged them to clap but Harry could only stare. He didn’t need to be Hermione to know what the woman meant. Hogwarts was going to be changing, and not for the better. 

 

When dinner was finally over and students started to leave the hall, first years with the prefects, Harry got to his feet and made his way to the head table. He wanted to speak to Snape about his dream, seeing Voldemort at the train station. Something had felt off about the dream and he didn’t think it was normal. He knew that the professor had encouraged him to go to Dumbledore his previous year but he just couldn’t bring himself to trust the man that didn’t seem to trust him. Unfortunately, the seat next to Snape that was usually empty was filled, by Professor Umbridge. 

“Um, Professor Snape, could I talk to you for a moment?” Harry asked, looking solely at the stern potions Master and trying his best to ignore the pink swathed woman next to him. 

“It is almost curfew Mr. Potter, you should be in your dorms with the other students, I’m sure you can find time to speak to him tomorrow.” Umbridge said, as if she’d been the one spoken to.

“See me after class tomorrow Mr. Potter.” Snape said, expression clearly telling him not to argue. 

Nodding his head he turned to make his way towards the dorms, the feeling in his gut telling him that wouldn’t be the last time Umbridge enforced her will upon him. 

+++

He hadn’t meant to snap at Ron the night before. Everything had just been building up and he knew a part of his attitude was that he hadn’t been able to talk to Snape, address his fears and get the man’s advice. It didn’t help that his schoolmates didn’t believe him, practically called him a liar to his face. They acted as if he was desperate for attention. He got enough attention just for being who he was, he didn’t want any more. He didn’t want Voldemort to be back or to have seen Cedric die. He didn’t want any of it. He just didn’t know how to make them see that. 

As Umbridge walked in, incinerating the flying bird one of the Patil twins had created and started her lesson he couldn’t help but glare. The woman’s voice grated on his already frayed nerves and it was obvious she wasn’t interested on really teaching them how to defend themselves. She was there to spy on them for the Ministry. His thoughts were confirmed when she informed them that they wouldn’t be using spells, at all. 

“You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk free way.”

“What use is that?” Harry asked, confused and a little upset. “If we’re attacked, it won’t be risk free.”

“Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class.” She snapped, heading back towards the front of the classroom. “It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations which, after all, is what school is all about.” 

“And how’s theory supposed to prepare us for what’s out there?”

“There is nothing out there, dear.” Umbridge said condescendingly. “Who do you imagine would want to attack children like yourself?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe… Lord Voldemort.”

The other students all seemed to fidget but Harry stared hard at the woman in front of him. He knew the others didn’t believe him but he didn’t care, he knew what he saw and he wasn’t about to just sit back and keep his mouth shut.

“Now let me make this quite plain.” She began, walking down the aisle towards him. “You have been told that a certain dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie.”

Her last words were spoken when she came to a stop next to Harry though she didn’t look at him as he bristled.

“It’s not a lie! I saw him, I fought him!”

“Detention Mr. Potter!”

“So according to you Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord?” Harry asked incredulously, annoyed tremendously at the woman’s words. 

“Cedric Diggory’s death was a tragic accident.”

“It was murder, Voldemort killed him. You must know this!”

“Enough!” She screeched, breathing deeply as she got herself under control. “Enough. See me later Mr. Potter, my office.”

+++

Hermione didn’t bother to reprimand him after class for his outburst. He knew she believed him but he also knew she was disappointed in him, he could tell by the way she looked at him that she wished he’d just kept his mouth shut but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t pretend for any of them that he hadn’t seen what he had. He was the one that had to see that creatures face in his dreams, hear his voice, and watch Cedric die. If he had to do that then he’d be damned if they forgot it. 

Seeing Umbridges office for the first time he cringed internally, she’d turned the entire room into a sickeningly pale shade of pink to match her hideous wardrobe. She let him in and instructed him to do lines. As she placed the quill in front of him, he knew something wasn’t right but he knew if he wanted to avoid further punishment he couldn’t question her.

“Now I want you to write, I must not tell lies.”

“How many times?” He asked slowly, gritting his teeth. 

“Well, let’s say for as long as it takes for the message to sink in.”

“You haven’t given me any ink.”

“Oh you won’t need any ink.”

Looking back down at the parchment in front of him, he picked up the quill and began to write. It wasn’t long before a stinging pain shot through his left hand and he gasped. The pain only got worse, working out from his wrist to the tops of his knuckles and he looked down to see the words ‘I must not tell lies’ carved across his skin. Looking down at the quill and then back to his hand, he realized just what had happened. Umbridge moved from behind him to stand back at her desk.

“Yes?”

“Nothing.” He said after a moment, knowing that complaining wouldn’t do him any good. 

“That’s right.” She said serenely, as if she had chosen a suitable punishment. “Because deep down you know, you deserve to be punished, don’t you Mr. Potter?”

 

Hermione confronted him later that evening after seeing his hand. The wounds had healed but the scars remained. He’d left her with the assurance that he’d talk to someone though he didn’t tell her who and went off to do his duties as a prefect. Finding his way to the dungeons, he caught Snape just as he was heading back to his classroom.

“Professor Snape.” He called out, hurrying to reach the man.

“Yes?”

“Could I talk to you now?”

He hadn’t had the chance to speak to the potions Master in private since he’d told him about his dream but he knew he needed to tell someone about what had happened.

“Of course.”

Leading him into the classroom, he waited until the man sat behind his desk before leaning back against one of the tables. 

“I was wondering if you had anything to get rid of scars.” He asked slowly, looking down at his hand.

“As long as they are not magically induced.”

“What about… what about from a quill?”

“What kind of quill were you using?” Snape asked, sounding confused though his expression never changed.

“I’m not sure sir.”

Getting up from his desk Snape approached him and Harry held out his hand, letting the other man examine it slowly.

“Who did this to you?” Snape asked, his voice low and dangerous.

“I had detention sir… this was my punishment.”

“Faculty abuse of students is strictly prohibited Mr. Potter. You need to speak with the headmaster about this.”

“I can’t,” Harry said, pulling his hand away. “I won’t let her call me a liar again.”

“There are ways to prove you are telling the truth.”

“I don’t want the attention, please don’t say anything.”

“As you wish.” Snape said tightly, stepping back towards his desk. “I’m afraid I cannot help you if you will not help yourself.”

Harry some how knew he’d disappointed the other man and it hurt, he didn’t want Snape to think bad of him but he couldn’t make a fuss. The last thing he needed was even more people staring at him, whispering behind their hands. He didn’t need to make any more enemies. 

+++

When the first of the plaques went up and the inquisition started, Harry knew things had spiraled out of control. Or to be more exact, under the Ministry’s control. He could only watch as they went around, harassing students, questioning the professors. Watching as she belittled Snape had been painful for Harry. The man was obviously unhappy as he answered her in monosyllabic words. He knew though, that it was only the beginning of things to come. She seemed to take joy in their suffering. He’d even felt sorry for Professor Trelawny as Umbridge talked down to her in her own classroom in front of the other students. When the woman was fired, he prayed that Dumbledore would step in. He’d tried to get the mans attention when he did just that but the old man had completely ignored him. 

+++

After speaking to Sirius Harry knew, he had to do something. Hermione and the rest of his friends were afraid. He didn’t know what he could do but he knew he had to do something, for them. He was also afraid that Professor Trelawny wouldn’t be the only professor Umbridge sacked, Professor Snape had a reputation for dealing with the dark arts, and was rumored to be a Death Eater. If she wanted, she could very well get him fired and possibly sent to Azkaban. He headed for the dungeons again in so many days and knocked softly on the classroom door. When Snape bid him enter, he made sure to close the door behind him and hoped that no one could overhear their conversation.

“What’s going to happen next?” He asked, leaning back against the door. “Who else is she going to get rid of?”

“I’m not sure, it could very well be me.” Snape replied, looking up from his desk. Though his voice was even Harry knew Snape wasn’t happy. “Tyrants are very often unpredictable.”

“I don’t know what I would do… if you were gone.”

“Finish the year I’ve no doubt.”

Harry knew that his professor was being deliberately flippant, obviously uncomfortable with the telling words he’d spoken but he couldn’t hold them back. He really didn’t know what he would do if Snape were no longer around. The man had been a constant in his life for the past four years, protected him, and talked to him. To lose him because of the Ministry was unthinkable. 

“We’re at their mercy, we can’t even defend ourselves.”

“I would say you do quite well defending yourself, you’re still alive.”

“But what about my friends?” Harry asked, dismayed. “They can’t even learn the things they need to know to protect themselves.”

“Perhaps they need a new teacher, someone with experience, someone who has faced great power and lived.”

As the words sunk in Harry realized just what Snape was suggesting, in a roundabout way. The Ministry may not be willing to teach the students defense but he could, he had faced Voldemort in that graveyard and survived. He’d faced many things in his past and made it out alive. He could show them all he’d learned and hope they listened. If he couldn’t protect them then he could ensure that they could at least protect themselves, against anything.

+++

Severus watched the boy leave with a sigh. He hadn’t meant to encourage him but he had just stood there looking so defeated that the words had simply come out. He too was worried about the changes being made but he would never speak of it to Potter. He’d already spoken to Albus but the headmaster was too busy trying to hold his seat as headmaster to truly give his attention to the problems. He knew the other teachers were concerned as well. Flitwick had even complained that the woman had the nerve to measure him. 

When his stock of Veritaserum started to dwindle, he knew that something was terribly wrong. It was against the rules to use that potent truth serum on a student. Not only could there be dire consequences if the potion was dispensed in the wrong dosage, it was morally repugnant. A students mind was to be protected and nourished, not exploited. While his feelings towards the majority of the student body were apathetic at best, he would never intentionally cause real harm to a student. Slapping Weasley upside the head every now and again could only improve what little brain he had as far as he was concerned. 

He wasn’t sure what his options were at that point. If Dumbledore couldn’t do anything then he was even less likely to be successful. No one in the Ministry would listen to him, not with his history. They’d be more likely to believe that he’d done something to the children than anything he told them. He didn’t like feeling helpless and regardless of his past, it was indeed a new feeling for him. He’d gone so far as to discreetly encourage his older Slytherin’s to inform him of anything Umbridge might ask of them. That was all he could do for the time being.

+++

Starting the DA had given him a sense of purpose he’d never felt before, even when he’d been told it was up to him to defeat Voldemort. The support of his friends, their willingness to listen had made him feel strong. Teaching them the things that he knew and watching them exceed everyone else’s expectations was thrilling. They were all so powerful, even Nigel. He just knew that with the training and the support they’d be even stronger, able to take on anything. As the Christmas holiday rolled around and their training was put on hold he couldn’t help but look at each of them with a new respect and hope that they looked at him the same way. 

When people started to file out of the room he noticed that Cho Chang stood near one of the many mirrors, eyes locked on Cedric’s picture and decided to hang back. He knew the girl had been in love with Cedric and as the last person to see him alive he felt like he owed it not only to her but also to Cedric as well to help her. He knew she still mourned for the brave Hufflepuff; it was in her eyes every day, the sadness of being left behind. He knew what that felt like. 

“Are you alright, I heard Umbridge gave you a rough time the other day?” He asked, after the others had all left. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Anyway, it’s worth it.” Cho replied, looking again at the picture of Cedric. “It’s just… learning all this, it makes me wonder, whether if he’d known it…”

“Cedric did know this stuff, he was really good. It’s just that Voldemort was better.”

“You’re a really good teacher Harry, I’ve never been able to stun anything before.”

He was flattered by her words, he really was and he took them at face value. He’d never been comfortable with compliments but it was nice to know his hard work was appreciated. That didn’t mean he wasn’t stunned when she leaned in to kiss him. Before she could make contact, however, he jerked back. 

“Cho I-“

“I’m sorry… I thought…” She trailed off, blushing brightly as she looked down at the floor. “I thought you liked me.”

“I do but… not like that, I’m… well the thing is, I’m gay.”

“Oh!” She said, shocked and even more embarrassed. “Bollocks, I thought… I thought wrong then.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“No that’s alright, I just…”

She looked back at the picture of Cedric then, smiling sadly and he knew, she was lonely. She’d sought him out because he’d been with Cedric when he died, cried over his body, knew how it felt to be alone. He wanted to help her, tell her things would get better but he couldn’t because he didn’t know. 

+++

That night he dreamt of Arthur’s death, had felt his fangs sink into the mans skin, tasted his blood on his lips and he’d woken up terrified. He knew then that it had to stop. Waking Ron, they’d gone to McGonagall who’d taken them to Dumbledore immediately. The headmaster had seemingly ignored him after he’d gotten the information that he needed and Harry had exploded. He hadn’t meant to but he was tired of being ignored, treated like an incompetent though they all seemed to be depending on him. Snape had been called and had been instructed to take him to the dungeons; his training in Occlumency was to start that very night. 

“It appears that there is a connection between the Dark Lords mind and your own.” Snape said, standing in front of him. “Whether he is, as yet, aware of this connection is, for the moment, unclear. Pray he remains ignorant.”

“You mean if he knows about it then he’ll be able to read my mind?”

“Read it, control it, unhinge it. In the past, it was often the Dark Lords pleasure to invade the minds of his victims, creating visions designed to torture them into madness. Only after extracting the last exquisite ounce of agony, only when he had them literally begging for death, would he finally kill them.” He intoned, walking towards Harry slowly. “Used properly, the power of Occlumency will help shield you from access or influence. In these lessons I will attempt to penetrate your mind, you will attempt to resist. Prepare yourself.”

Taking a deep breath, Harry tried to clear his thoughts and control his emotions. He was scared to death, scared for the man who’d taken him in and cared for him as a father would, scared for his friends, scared for his own sanity. If Voldemort could control him then he had no hope of ever defeating the bastard. 

As Snape cast the spell and delved into his thoughts he tried to push the man back but the harder he tried it seemed the more Snape saw. It rolled backwards, from the dream to the time he spent with his friends, to seeing Sirius, to his confrontation with Dudley. It was like seeing a film with full sound and color only it was his memories he was watching and he knew that Snape was watching them too. He could see Dudley teasing him, mocking his dreams, how he had rejected Cho Chang, coming out to her in the process. It was a total invasion of his very mind and he wondered if Voldemort could do the same thing, had done the same thing. 

+++

Spending the hols with the Weasleys had felt good but strange. To see them together as a family, Arthur with his bruises and bandages and everyone else acting as if nothing was wrong. He’d stood back away from the group of redheads, watching how they interacted. When Arthur had toasted him for saving his life, he’d felt more than hollow. He didn’t want to be thanked. He’d felt so close to him that not mentioning the dream hadn’t even been an option, he couldn’t just let Arthur die. Nevertheless, they didn’t see it that way; they saw it as him fulfilling some sort of duty, as if he wasn’t a part of their family. However, he really wasn’t, he thought, not in the way that really counted, not by blood. 

Standing in the room that housed the Black family tree he listened to Sirius as he talked about his relatives. He couldn’t help but he glad he never knew them. They sounded like a right nasty lot, turning away their son and heir because he wasn’t a pure blood elitist. 

“My mother did that.” Sirius said, pointing to his burned out picture on the wall. His name remained but his visage had been covered by a black scorch mark. “I ran away when I was sixteen.”

“Where did you go?”

“Your dads, I was always welcome at the Potter’s, I see him so much in you Harry. You are so very much alike.”

“I’m not so sure.” Harry said softly. “I was… When I saw Mr. Weasley attacked I wasn’t just watching, I was the snake. And afterwards I felt so… what if I’m becoming more like him, like… Voldemort?”

“Harry-“

“I feel so angry and I can’t help but think that there’s something wrong, inside of me.”

“There is nothing wrong with you.” Sirius said, reaching out to place his hand on Harry’s arm. “You’ve gone through so much its no wonder you get angry, you have every right.”

“I’m just, I guess I’m scared.”

“Being scared isn’t a sin, no emotion truly felt is, it’s how you act upon those emotions that matters.”

“Even love?” Harry asked, thinking back on all the things he felt. He knew it probably wasn’t the best time but he knew that he needed something; someone to keep him strong to face what was coming. 

“Especially love.” Sirius replied, tilting his head a bit in question. “Is there something you want to tell me Harry?”

“I-“

“Harry, it’s time to go.” Hermione said, popping her head around the corner. 

Harry nodded and let Sirius lead him towards the door. 

“When all this is over, we’ll be a proper family, you’ll see.”

Accepting the hug Sirius gave him he turned to follow Hermione down the hall, a sense of dread filling him with every step. 

+++

The fall of Dumbledore’s Army was a devastating blow. To know that Cho had been the one to betray them had made it even worse. They hadn’t even had the chance to finish their training. It was as if the school was on lockdown after Dumbledore was fired. Umbridge had banned so many things it was amazing that they could still breathe without punishment. The doors were locked and the entire DA was given Umbridge’s special detention. And no one could do anything about it. Even the professors were watched with an eagle eye. Cho had tried to speak to him afterwards but he couldn’t bear to look at her. 

Standing on the bridge, he looked out onto the misty grounds, not bothering to turn around when he heard footsteps approaching. He knew who it was.

“I just wanted to help them and now everything’s ruined.”

“I’m sure it feels that way.”

“How can you say that?” Harry asked, turning around to face Snape. “Dumbledore’s gone, I can’t train them anymore, I’ve put us all in danger.”

“You did what needed to be done, no matter what choices we make some things are out of our control.”

“I should have just kept my mouth shut, if I’d never said anything-“

“More would have died.” Snape said smoothly. “Just because a problem is left unsaid does not mean it disappears, surely you’ve learned that by now.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” Harry said softly, wrapping his arms about himself. “I don’t want to care.”

“It would be easier not to care but as humans we do not have that option, no matter how much we may wish otherwise.”

The tone of his voice surprised Harry, it seemed as if he wasn’t simply speaking about Harry’s problems anymore, but his own. 

+++

They continued their Occlumency lessons and Snape pushed him hard, trying to prepare him. He breached another memory, this time of his first year, standing in front of the Mirror of Erised. He saw his parents again, standing behind him and then it shifted as Snape stepped into view, wrapping an arm around him. And just as suddenly, the image was gone.

“Focus Potter, if the Dark Lord gains access to your mind you will not be able to stop the damage he will cause.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder.”

He tried to cloud his thoughts, push them farther back into himself but it was no use. Snape dug through them, flipping one over the other like pages in a book. From hugging Sirius at Christmas, meeting Grawp and further still. The graveyard, his session in the prefects’ bathroom, crying out for Severus as he slumped into the water. As Snape pulled back, his cheeks were flushed and Harry blushed sharply. He hadn’t meant for those things to be seen. 

“If I could just rest.”

“The Dark Lord isn’t resting.” Snape said with a shake of his head. “You must learn.”

“You keep seeing…”

“And so will he if you do not learn. Legillimens!”

“Protego!”

His head was suddenly filled with images not his own, Snape walking down the hall, a bit of tissue paper stuck to his shoe as students laughed behind him. Sitting huddled in the corner on his own, hiding with his book near the lake by a tree. He watched as his father, Sirius and Remus stalked towards him. His father casting curses on the young Snape as Sirius, Remus and Peter egged him on, threatening to strip Snape in front of all the other children as he levitated him a few feet in the air.

“Enough!” Snape barked out, obviously disturbed.

“What did they do to you?” Harry asked softly, sickened by what he saw. His father was a monster, a cruel, vile person. And everyone said how alike they were. Was that what Severus saw when he looked at him, he wondered. Did he see James Potter reincarnated? Did he hate him? The thought broke his heart. 

“The lesson is over, get out.”

“Sev-“

“Get out.” Severus said tightly, turning away. 

Rushing out of the room, Harry lurched through the hall, a hand clutching at his stomach as he thought back on what he saw. Severus would never love him, could never love him, not as long as he saw Harry as an extension of his father. 

+++

The vision had brought him to his knees as he watched the Weasley twins fly away. He could only see Sirius being held captive, tortured. He had to do something. Getting into Umbridge's office had been easier than he thought it would be, too easy. It hadn’t surprised him too much when they’d been caught. As the others were brought in and he was restrained and then slapped he grit his teeth. A voice from the doorway caught his attention though.

“You sent for me Headmistress.” Snape drawled, taking in the scene before him.

“Snape, yes, the time has come for answers whether he wants to give them to me or not, have you brought the Veritaserum?” Umbridge said smugly, turning towards the door.

“I’m afraid you’ve used up all my stores interrogating students.” At that, Snape glanced at Harry before looking directly at Cho Chang and Harry knew then that she’d had no choice. “The last of it on Ms. Chang. Unless you wish to poison him, and I assure you, I have the greatest sympathy if you did, I cannot help you.”

“He’s got Padfoot!” Harry said as Snape turned to walk away, thinking back on what he’d seen in Snape’s mind. “He’s got Padfoot at the place where it’s hidden.”

“Padfoot, what is Padfoot, where what is hidden? What is he talking about Snape?”

“No idea.” Severus said calmly, leaving the room.

Harry watched him go with a heavy heart, knowing that for the first time he was really alone.

+++

It hadn’t taken much to convince Umbridge that there was something in the forest. Hermione had led the woman on a wild chase before she was seized by Grawp and then taken by the centaurs. They had rushed back to the school only to find the others free. Malfoy had gone to talk to Snape and Crabbe and Goyle were easily fooled. They used the thestrals to get to London and snuck into the Ministry. The department of mysteries was filled with things and Harry was desperate in his search for the prophecy. Neville found it. Staring at the orb Harry couldn’t believe such a small thing held something so vital, something worth killing for. He hadn’t expected the Death Eaters though.

Lucius had been his usual threatening self at first but when Bellatrix had wandered over he switched to cajoling, trying to convince Harry to hand over the prophecy. It wasn’t long before they were surrounded as Lucius and Bellatrix moved closer. Lucius just kept talking, softly, slowly, hand outstretched.

“All you have to do is give it to me.” Lucius said, moving just a fraction closer.

He was tempted, just for a second. To finally hear the rest, to know what was said that could have changed his life so drastically, the thing that had changed everything for all of them, the words that had set a mad man after him. His will was slowly crumbling as words flitted through his brain.

“You are not alone.”

That was enough, those words and that voice, reminding him. He wasn’t alone, he had his friends at his back and he knew the Order was coming, he knew that somehow Snape must have warned them. He would not give in.

“I’ve waited fourteen years.”

“I know.”

“I can wait a bit longer, now, Stupefy!” Harry shouted, flicking his wand as Neville did the same beside him and the others cast their spells as well. 

After that, it was chaos as they rushed around, looking for a way out, throwing spells at any Death Eater stupid enough to attack them. In the end, it took Ginny’s Reducto to get them out and they fell down a shaft into a room none of them had seen before. An archway stood on it’s own, whispering to him softly but only he and Luna could hear it. Death Eaters filled the room in streams of black smoke, swirling around as they attacked. He only hoped the Order arrived before they were killed. All his friends here restrained, Bellatrix holding Neville, wand at his throat. The others were seized as well and it was just he and Lucius. 

“I’ll make this simple for you Potter, give me the prophecy now or watch your friends die.”

He looked at Neville, at Hermione and Ron, at Luna with her split lip and Ginny. He couldn’t let them die, he wouldn’t. 

“Don’t give it to him Harry!” Neville called, earning him a jab to the throat from Bellatrix. 

Looking down at the prophecy in his hand, he knew what he had to do. The second he gave it over to Lucius he held it up triumphantly but his smug look faded a moment later as Sirius’ voice rang out through the chamber.

“Get away from my Godson.” He said, throwing his arm back and punching Lucius across the jaw.

As Lucius hit the ground and rolled away, dropping the prophecy and shattering it in the process, the room filled with members of the Order, coming in as the Death Eater’s had, only this time in streams of bright white. The Death Eaters worked to get away but the Order seemed to outwit them every time. Flashes of light filled the room as curses and counter curses were cast, the Death Eaters fighting to kill. Harry could only focus on his Godfather beside him and Lucius Malfoy in front, soon joined by one of the Lestrange brothers. Lestrange fell first, leaving Lucius to face them both. They fought side by side and as a he cast a quick Expelliarmus on Lucius, Sirius glanced at him with a grin.

“Nice one James!”

Hearing those words, he stopped even as Sirius kept moving, firing off another spell that disarmed Lucius before hitting him with another that knocked him across the room. As Sirius smiled in triumph, distracted, Harry watched Bellatrix appear. She raised her wand, intent clear and Harry cast his own spell.

“Avada-“

“Expelliarmus!” He cried, watching as she flew backwards and slammed into the wall behind her. 

She recovered quickly though, getting to her feet and rushing from the room and Harry gave chase, not stopping to think even for a second. He didn’t hear the voices calling out for him to stop; he couldn’t let her get away. She cackled as she ran down the hallway, her voice echoing across the stone walls. 

“You coming to get me?”

“Crucio!” He yelled, pointing his wand at her back as a spark of red flew from its tip, knocking her to the ground. She whimpered at his feet, eyes big as she stared up at him.

“You’ve got to mean it Harry, she deserves it, and she’s killed so many. Do it.”

The voice was not his own, it wasn’t Severus either. It was Voldemort and he could feel him crawling beneath his skin, urging him on. He stared down at her, feeling the anger he tried to keep hidden rise up, a choking thing that made his jaw clench and his eyes water. A rush of noise behind him and Bellatrix laughed again as he turned to see Voldemort behind him.

“So weak.”

Just then, the floo flared to life and Dumbledore stepped out, wand drawn. He approached them without fear as he stared directly at Voldemort.

“You were foolish to come here tonight Tom. The Aurors are on their way.”

“At which time I shall be gone and you shall be dead.” Voldemort replied smoothly.

Dumbledore stepped forward as Voldemort cast his spell and shoved Harry to the side. Harry could only sit back and watch as the two most powerful wizards he’d ever come in contact with battled in front of him, a stream of blue light from Dumbledore’s wand clashing against the red of Voldemort’s. The struggle went on, backlash from the power shooting out around the room, destroying everything it touched. Voldemort pulled back only to pull a ball of fire as if from inside himself, throwing it at his former teacher in the shape of a giant cobra. Dumbledore slashed at the snake, throwing back a rush of pure water as Voldemort sucked the flames back into himself and clasped his hands, thrusting his power out towards them as pure darkness, shoving Dumbledore back and shattering the glass windows lining the walls. As a rain of glass fell down around them, Voldemort gathered it with his powers, sending it back towards them. Dumbledore dropped down, raising his wand and shield, turning the glass to water as it flowed over them both.

Voldemort seemed at a loss, disappearing with a swirl of dust. Harry thought it was over until he felt it, that invasion. His body jerked as he hit the floor, evil filling him to his very core. He could feel Voldemort inside him, all his hatred, all his rage, eating him alive.

“You’ve lost, old man.” He sneered, his voice not his own as he looked up at Dumbledore. He tried to fight it, tried to force it out. He could see everything, all the pain he’d ever suffered, all the losses of his young life, his friends and family both. He saw things that hadn’t even happened yet; things that would happen to those that had chosen his side. He watched as the world he knew ceased to exist to be replaced by something so much worse, a murderer's idea of Utopia. 

“Harry.”

“So weak, so vulnerable.”

“Harry, it isn’t how you are alike, it’s how you are not.” Dumbledore said, bending down beside him. 

He fought harder, body spaziming as he thought of all the things that made them different, all the choices they made that set them apart. He thought of his family, his mother and father, Sirius and Remus, of Ron and Hermione and all the friends he held dear, he thought of Severus and finally he thought of Love. That was their difference, that was the one thing he had that Voldemort would never know. Love for himself and the love of others, he had it in abundance and it would save him. 

“You’re the weak one, you’ll never know love or friendship.” He gasped, seeing Voldemort snarl in his mind. “And I feel sorry for you.”

The force with which Voldemort left his body rocked him like an explosion, leaving him gasping for breath as he lay on his back. 

“You’re a fool Harry Potter, and you will lose everything.”

With those parting words Voldemort truly did vanish and Harry could only hope he was wrong. 

+++

Standing in his room Harry slowly packed his trunk, he’d spoken to Dumbledore briefly, and Sirius. He just wanted to sleep, to shut off his mind for a while. He knew Severus was there though he didn’t speak and he turned around slowly.

“You warned them, that we’d gone to the department of mysteries.”

“I could not let the Savior of the wizarding world get himself killed.” Severus said shortly, his face a mask of indifference.

“You let me believe you didn’t care.”

“I did what I had to, as I have always done.”

“Why… why didn’t you tell me about my father?” Harry asked, thinking still of those painful memories. Such hurtful things even though they weren’t his own and he had to close his eyes.

“Many reasons, most of which I don’t ever intend to explain, suffice to say I have realized that I do not wish to cause you any undo pain.”

The words were spoken so softly he almost didn’t hear them but when he opened his eyes Severus was gone. 

+++

 

I realize that in the book and movie, Sirius is killed by Bellatrix but I couldn’t do it. I’m sorry, hate me later. This was the hardest chapter to write by far, as I didn’t have a script to work with helping me along so any inconsistencies are my fault. The next chapter may take a while as I only have the book to work with so please be patient. Hope you all enjoyed what I’ve written so far!


	6. 6. The Half Blood Prince

  
Author's notes: same as the first chapter  


* * *

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

6\. The Half Blood Prince

 

Severus had spent the majority of the summer holidays at Spinners End, on order of the Dark Lord. He wouldn’t have minded over much, though he had no real love for the place, if he hadn’t been forced into the company of Peter Pettigrew. He’d hated the little lap rat since their school days but the feeling had seemed to only grow stronger at the Dark Lords resurrection. If the pudgy little man had simply died like he was supposed to all those years ago things would have been so much simpler. As it was, Severus was constantly watched by his beady little eyes at every turn, ensuring his loyalty. 

Heading towards his study, a knock at the door stopped him. Stifling a sigh Severus went to answer it. He had no wish for company; the simpering idiot Wormtail was more than enough. Answering the door, he took in the two figures that stood before him and bit back a curse.

“Narcissa, Bellatrix, to what do I owe this… pleasure?”

“I need to speak to you.” Narcissa said plaintively, pushing her hood back from her cloak. 

Stepping aside to let them in Severus once again headed for his study, knowing they would follow. After gesturing towards the settee, he sat down in the chair across from it as Narcissa took a seat, Bellatrix choosing to stand behind her. Narcissa opened her mouth to speak but Severus held up his hand to silence her, turning to flick his wand at the door. It opened quickly and Wormtail tipped in onto the floor, obviously attempting to eavesdrop. 

“This conversation does not concern you Wormtail, back to your room.”

“You can’t order me around!” Peter cried, struggling back to his feet. “You’re not the Dark Lord.”

“No I am not but if you cannot manage to keep yourself occupied I’m sure I can convince the Dark Lord to find you something to do elsewhere.”

Peter huffed and looked on the verge of whining before he turned and stomped out of the room. Closing the door with another flick of his wand Severus set up a silencing charm as well before turning back to his guests. At his nod Narcissa began to fidget, very different from the cool composed woman he’d known for so many years. 

“I should not even be here-“ She began slowly. 

“No you should not!” Bellatrix said, cutting her off with a glare at Severus. “He is not to know, for a reason.”

“And what reason is that Bellatrix?”

He knew the loony slag had never trusted him, he also knew that since her escape she had tried several times to call his actions into question in front of the Dark Lord. She had every reason to be suspicious but he’d never tell her that. 

“You cannot be trusted.”

“If the Dark Lord suspected that I did not remain ever faithful do you honestly believe I would still be alive?”

“That is not the point, your actions-“

“Have pleased the Dark Lord, for they were his orders to me.” Severus interjected smoothly, eager to shut her up so they could get on with it.

“To stop him from gaining access to the Philosophers stone?”

“If he had confided in me, he would have succeeded in obtaining it, as he well knows.”

“Are you blaming him for your interference?” Bellatrix screeched, eyes alight with fanatical anger.

“I am saying it is not open for discussion, the matter has been settled.” Severus replied, turning to Narcissa. “Now, the reason you are here?”

“You are the only one that can help me.”

“Cissy-“

“No,” Narcissa said firmly, staring straight at Severus. “The Dark Lord has assigned a task to Draco-“

“That does not concern him, you were told to keep quiet-“

“I will not! If he can help him then I must try.”

“I know of this task.” Severus said, focusing solely on Narcissa though he saw Bellatrix frown. “If you think I can convince the Dark Lord to change his mind you are mistaken.”

“He is just a boy Severus, my boy.”

“He is loyal to the Dark Lord, as are we all.”

Bellatrix scoffed at that, eyeing Severus with distaste but he ignored her. 

“He will fail and the Dark Lord is well aware, I cannot lose him as well.” Narcissa said with a shake of her head. Lucius had been captured in the Department of Mysteries, something that had not pleased their Lord at all. She was more than likely right that the task was a punishment for the Malfoy family for failing. 

“It may very well be but it must be done, it is an honor for Draco to be chosen.”

“There is no honor in this, he is a boy, too young to be thrown to the wolves. Please Severus, please help him, protect him.”

“I cannot stop what is to come but I will try.”

Narcissa seemed to collapse in gratitude as her eyes filled with tears. 

“I need your vow Severus.”

“An Unbreakable Vow?”

He was not surprised but he had hoped to avoid it. Bellatrix watched them, gleefully waiting for his denial as proof of his loyalties. He knew if he were to refuse, Bellatrix would be the first to mention it to the Dark Lord. 

“He will not make one.” Bellatrix said with a triumphant giggle. “He is not the Dark Lords man.”

Reaching forward to clasp Narcissa’s hand Severus turned to Bellatrix. 

“I believe we need your wand.”

Holding out her wand warily, Bellatrix watched as Narcissa let out the breath she’d been holding. 

“Will you, Severus Snape, watch over my son, Draco Malfoy, as he attempts to fulfill the Dark Lord’s wishes?” Narcissa asked pleadingly.

“I will.”

A thread of red light slithered from Bellatrix’ wand and wound around their clasped hands. 

“And will you, to the best of your abilities, protect him from harm?”

“I will.”

The light again, twining around the first to make it stronger as it glowed brightly. 

“And if you must, should he fail, will you carry out the Dark Lord’s orders?”

“I will.” Severus said, watching as a third light came forth to wrap around the others, pulsing as if a living thing before fading deep into their skin. The vows could not be broken.

+++

Harry’s summer had been different from all the ones preceding it at the end of his fifth year. As he had been made aware of the Order, Dumbledore had not argued when Sirius suggested that he spend time at Grimmauld place, so that they could get to know each other better. Every two weeks a member of the order, usually Moody or Tonks would come to pick him up from the Dursley’s and take him to Sirius. Order members wandered in and out fairly often, usually Molly Weasley with food or Remus, who also lived there. 

It had been awkward at first, Harry could still remember the look at the memories he’d had. He just didn’t look at Sirius or even Remus the way he did before. He knew what type of cruelty they were capable of, cruelty the likes of which he was very familiar. He would never forget Harry Hunting or what it had felt like to be helpless at the mercy of another. His father, as a boy, had delighted in tormenting others and it made him sick. He’d heard so much about how great his father was, how brave and true. He felt like he’d been lied to yet again. He didn’t doubt that his father had changed though, at least enough for his mother to have found something she could love in him. 

That didn’t mean he wanted to be like him, or for others to look at him and only see James Potter. He only hoped that the more Sirius saw him the more he’d see him as his own man. It was hard going though, he still couldn’t forget how Sirius had turned to him in the DOM and called him his fathers’ name. Sure, it was his middle name, but he knew that wasn’t what Sirius had meant. The second Sirius laid eyes on him he’d seen a chance to have James back in his life. 

Sitting down at the table Harry picked at his food, shepherds pie fresh from Molly’s kitchen. Sirius sat across from him with Remus to his right.

“Harry, are you alright?” Sirius asked, looking up to notice his godson not even pretending to eat. 

“I’ve got a lot on my mind is all.”

“You know you can talk to us Harry, about anything,” said Remus, who put down his fork to pay attention to the conversation. 

“I’ve just been thinking… about my father.”

“Your father was a great man.”

“My father was a bully.” Harry said, dropping his fork as he shook his head. “He did a lot of hateful things and got away with it and I don’t understand why everyone says I’m like him.”

Sirius looked ready to protest but Remus placed his hand on Sirius’ arm as he looked down the table at Harry.

“Where did you hear that Harry?”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s true isn’t it?”

“Snape.” Sirius growled, yanking his arm out from under Remus’ hand. “He’s been filling your head with nonsense ever since you started those lessons.”

“Don’t you mean Snivellus, Snivellus Greasy?”

“He deserved it, he attacked us!”

“He fought back!” Harry cried, jumping from his seat. “You lot did all you could to belittle and abuse him, all he did was defend himself!”

“He’s a Death Eater, he was then and he is now and I don’t want you near him anymore!”

“It’s not your choice.” Harry said, moving away from his seat. “You’re my godfather and I love you for that but the things you’ve done… I really don’t like you right now.”

Turning, Harry left the dining room and headed for his bedroom on the second floor. He hadn’t meant to blow up but he couldn’t believe that even after all these years Sirius refused to admit his actions were wrong. If they had just given Severus a chance or even just left him alone he might not have turned to the Dark Lord. From what he’d seen his mother had defended Severus, she wouldn’t have done that if Severus were really evil. 

 

It was Remus who found him later, in his bedroom. He’d been sprawled across the bed, thinking still when the knock came. He thought it was Sirius at first but Remus popped his head in and asked permission to enter. He didn’t speak at first, leaning back against the wall to watch Harry who’d sat up at that point. 

“When we were younger things were a lot different.” Remus began, rubbing the back of his neck. “Your father was a bully and Sirius did instigate most of it, Peter gloried in it and I sat back and did nothing. We all have our reasons though I’m sure they’ll never be good enough.”

“Like what?”

“James… he loved your mum a lot, even back then and she was very close to Severus, there were times you couldn’t find one without the other, they were very much like you and Hermione.”

“He didn’t like it.” Harry said, imaging the look on his fathers face whenever he saw those two together. 

“He hated it and he did everything he could to make Severus’ life worse because of it.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“James thought that if she spent enough time with Severus she’d leave him, they had so much in common. All of us, including him, knew we’d gone too far a few times but that didn’t stop us and well, no one was willing to be the one to tell us we’d gone off the mark.”

“So they left you to it and you just kept up.”

“Yes and we hurt him terribly once, locked him in with a werewolf on the night of the full moon.” As his words registered Harry realized just which wolf was chosen. They’d set Moony loose on Severus; they’d tried to kill him. And Severus had stepped in front of him and his friends to face off against Moony again during their third year. “James got him out at the last minute but…”

“But you tried to kill him, it’s no wonder he hates you all.” Harry said with a shake of his head. “I didn’t have any friends till I came to Hogwarts, Dudley and his group are a lot like you lot were.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Said Remus but Harry just shrugged him off. 

“Being unloved is terrible, but being reminded everyday… it’s no wonder he turned to Voldemort.”

“You can’t blame that on us Harry,” Remus frowned, still uncomfortable thinking about the things he’d done as a child. “He made his own decisions.”

“You’re right, he chose to put his life in danger everyday to help the Order and he still gets treated like the enemy.”

+++

Being at the Burrow usually made him feel better but the last visit only made him feel worse. Everyone was stiff and nervous it seemed, taking all the extra precautions should a Death Eater turn up. Then there was the women’s animosity towards Fleur. He knew Hermione’s reaction was probably based on jealousy. He wasn’t sure about Ginny though and then there was Mrs. Weasley. He knew that had very little to do with jealousy and everything to do with thinking there was no one good enough for her son. 

The trip to Diagon Alley was mostly uneventful. The twins were in top form and their business was booming, they’d even taken the time to speak to Harry personally. He wasn’t sure how he felt about taking anything for free even if he did help them with the start up capitol. They had insisted though and he’d come away with a few things that would potentially make his life easier. 

Draco Malfoy had been an unpleasant surprise but he’d felt the strong urge to follow him as he snuck his way into Knockturn Alley. He knew he had every reason to be suspicious even if the others didn’t think so. Draco was a menace who’d taken far too much joy in tormenting them their fifth year once he’d joined Umbridge on her reign of terror. He truly believed Draco had taken the spot left open by his fathers’ incarceration as Voldemort’s lackey. That was the only reason he could think of for old Mr. Borgin to be afraid of him. 

He had another chance to spy on Malfoy on the train after the Slug Club meeting. That had been an uncomfortable experience but one he’d sat through stiffly. He’d managed to follow Blaise Zabini back into his cabin but he’d almost lost a foot doing it. The group of Slytherins chattered on below him as he hid in the luggage compartment and when the train started to slow down Harry held his breath and waited for them to leave. Unfortunately, Goyle managed to knock him upside the head with his trunk and Harry couldn’t help but gasp in pain. 

It seemed at first that nobody heard him as they filed out but Malfoy hung back, making his excuses to Pansy. Harry waited with baited breath but it seemed that Malfoy had simply forgotten something, he was wrong. Letting his guard down Harry was totally unprepared for the immobilizing spell Draco cast and soon found himself sprawled across the compartment floor, invisibility cloak trapped beneath him.

“I thought so, I heard Goyle’s trunk hit you and I saw something white flash through the air after Zabini came back,” Malfoy said, looking down on him with a malicious grin. “You didn’t hear anything I care about Potter, but while you’re here…”

Harry couldn’t even defend himself as Malfoy stomped down hard on his face, breaking his nose in a shower of blood. He desperately wanted to move, to hold his injured anatomy but he was still frozen, could only try to breath through the blood sliding down his throat. 

“That’s for my father, now let’s see…” Draco pulled the cloak out from beneath him before dropping it over his face and body. “I don’t reckon they’ll see you till the train’s back to London, see you around Potter… or not.”

 

Tonks had been the one to find him, just as the train was pulling away. They managed to jump onto the platform before the train had reached full speed and the walk was tiring. They had to wait at the gates once they reached them but after Tonks sent up her patronus, it wasn’t long before Harry saw Severus making his way towards them. His conversation with Tonks was clipped and formal and all Harry wanted to do was get to Madame Pomfrey so she could fix his nose. When they reached the great hall Severus turned to him, eyes going wide as he took in the already forming bruises and blood. He obviously hadn’t noticed in the dark outdoors. 

“What happened?” Severus asked.

“Malfoy happened.” Harry replied bitterly though the words were distorted as the swelling and dried blood in his nasal cavity made it hard for him to breath and speak at the same time. “Caught me spying and took offense I guess.”

“I can fix that if you’d like.” 

Harry nodded slowly and Severus raised his wand. After he muttered the incantation, Harry felt his nose realign itself as his airway cleared. Breathing deeply he touched his nose gently to find it no longer broken. 

“Thank you sir.”

“Just be sure not to let Mr. Malfoy catch you unawares again.” Severus said lowly, turning to head into the great hall. 

+++

The next day McGonagall handed out their schedules and Harry decided to reenroll in Potions. He had the grades for it, Severus expected perfection but Slughorn was much more lenient. He knew however that he’d have to work even harder in DADA. Severus had finally gotten the position he’d wanted and Harry was honestly excited to see what Severus came up with for his lesson plan. 

After entering the classroom Harry sat back and listened to Severus start his lecture. It took more will power than he thought he possessed not to get hard when Severus’ voice dipped lower, thrumming across his skin like a caress. Finally, he told them to pair up and practice non-verbal spells. After the first ten minutes, Hermione pulled it off while the rest of them struggled. Ron looked like he was about to have a fit, face red and lips pressed tight together as tried and failed to curse Harry again and again. 

Winding his way around the classroom, Severus finally came to a stop near he and Ron. He observed them at first, frowning at Ron’s meager attempts at wordless magic before stepping in.

“Not even close Mr. Weasley.” He said, turning his wand on Harry. “Perhaps a demonstration is in order.”

Knowing Severus could be brutal when making a point Harry didn’t even think twice before shouting the word for the shield charm. He almost dropped his wand as it hit Severus, making him stumble back into one of the desks behind him. He wanted to go to the man, just to see if he was harmed but he knew his help wouldn’t be appreciated. 

“If the exercise involved verbal spells your actions would have been more than sufficient,” Severus said, straightening himself away from the desk. “As it did not, do you see what you’ve done wrong?”

“Yes but-“

“Yes sir.”

“There’s no need to call me sir, Professor.” Harry said, cringing internally. He’d meant the words to come out as coy, teasing but obviously Severus wasn’t in the mood for flirtatious banter. 

“Detention Saturday night, my office.” Severus said tightly, turning away to deal with the rest of the class. 

 

Potions had been a rousing success thanks to the help of the Half Blood Prince but Harry still couldn’t get over how hostile his friends had been, especially Hermione. He knew she took her schoolwork seriously but to have such a negative reaction over something as simple as following a different set of directions seemed ridiculous. He knew she was angry because she hadn’t won the Felix Felicis but she didn’t have to be so hostile about it. He knew Ginny was upset because of what had happened second year and while he could understand her concerns he didn’t like the way she’d looked so betrayed. He hadn’t been the one to slip her Riddle’s diary in the first place, he’d even saved her life, she could at least trust his judgment. Ron had been the only one who hadn’t thrown a fit over it, which had surprised him. Ron had always had a problem with Harry succeeding. However, for once, he’d been supportive. 

He continued to use the Princes advice during potions, despite his friends’ objections. Ron had started to lean more towards Hermione’s way of thinking after a few days but he didn’t care. The Prince knew his stuff and Harry wasn’t about to let the opportunity to succeed go to waste. Slughorn had a tendency to rave about his newfound skills, which only seemed to make things worse with his friends. Hermione was adamant that by not following the directions to the letter he was cheating and though he offered to share neither she nor Ron were interested. 

He’d also started his lessons with Dumbledore. In their very first lesson, Dumbledore took him into the pensieve and showed him Bob Ogden’s memories. Marvolo Guant was a vicious and uncaring man, abusive to his only daughter and overly fond of his mad son. Hearing Merope’s story he couldn’t help but feel bad for the woman. He knew what it was like to want someone desperately. That she had possibly used a love potion to get the handsome Tom Riddle senior was even sadder. He was also sure he had discovered the source of Dumbledore’s black and withered hand. Guants' ring must have had a nasty curse on it to cause so much damage. He just hoped it was fixable. 

+++

Harry made it to Severus’ office promptly at eight. He was glad Severus had denied Slughorns' request to reschedule his detention if only so he could get out of going to that horrible meeting. Slughorn was only interested in him to advance his own standing and Harry was tired of being used. Walking into the office, Harry saw Severus seated behind his desk and dropped down into the chair across from him. 

“For someone about to serve an hour in detention you seem dreadfully cheerful, Mr. Potter.”

“Honestly sir, it got me out of going to another Slug Club meeting and the company’s better.” Harry said, blushing a bit.

“Really, I was under the impression that you’d prefer the company of Ms. Weasley.”

“Ginny’s sweet but she’s not who I want.”

Harry kept his gaze level, hoping Severus would read between the lines and it seemed that he could, as he looked away first. 

“Well, why don’t you start sorting the flobberworms, there should be a pair of protective gloves on the table.”

Knowing he’d been dismissed Harry nodded, getting up to head back out into the classroom.

+++

Harry continued to be fascinated by his old potions book, finding more than just altered instructions in the margins. There were spells as well, verbal and nonverbal and he’d decided to try one of them. He didn’t do well with nonverbal spells in DADA but he figured that had more to do with him being distracted by the sound of Severus’ voice than anything else. He was pleasantly surprised when his nonverbal levicorpus actually worked, yanking Ron from his bed and dangling him by the ankle. Ron didn’t mind but when he’d related the story to Hermione later, she was less than pleased. She’d even gone so far as to suggest that the Prince was a death eater. 

Conversation was stilted on the walk to Hogsmeade but Harry chose to ignore it. If Hermione couldn’t get over her jealousy then he didn’t really want to speak to her, it’d just be the same old argument all over again. Zonko’s was boarded up but Honeydukes was open and he would have had a great time if Slughorn hadn’t been there. He’d managed to avoid the little dinner parties Slughorn held but the man was entirely too persistent. He was only thankful that Dumbledore had scheduled one of their sessions so he had an honest excuse for his absence that coming Monday. 

Just when he thought his day was getting better, he ran across Mundungus on their way to the Three Broomsticks. The foul little man was obviously doing some sort of illegal business and he would have just ignored him if he hadn’t caught sight of just what Mundungus was selling. Black family artifacts lined the little briefcase he held and Harry was more than ready to strangle the man. He would have as well if Tonks hadn’t stepped in and let Mundungus get away. 

Things only seemed to get worse when, after leaving the Three Broomsticks, Katie Bell got herself cursed. He’d seen the necklace she’d been carrying before, at Borgin and Burkes and he knew that Malfoy had taken a strange interest in it when they were younger. It only seemed logical to him, what with Malfoys' recent behavior that the blonde was behind the attack. Unfortunately, his friends thought he was barmy for even suggesting that Malfoy was responsible. It made his head ache every time they shot him down and he wondered at their attitudes. A few years ago, it wouldn’t have taken much for Ron to side with him over Malfoy, Hermione as well. It just didn’t make sense for them not to at least hear him out before coming to a decision. He really wished Dumbledore had been around, he knew the Headmaster would at least listen to what he had to say.

+++

Katie was taken to St. Mungo’s the next day and Harry was finally able to address his concerns directly to Dumbledore. The headmaster listened and assured him that the situation was being looked into but was quick to brush off the rest of his questions. It made Harry a little angry, being kept in the dark, but he knew that pushing wouldn’t get him anywhere. Dumbledore would tell him when he felt the time was right and not a moment before. 

Not long after that conversation, Dumbledore took them both into his pensieve. He got to see first hand how Dumbledore dealt with Muggles and he also got to see just where Tom Riddle grew up. The orphanage was a bleak place but habitable. Seeing Tom Riddle as a child had been odd, the boy’s behavior strongly suggesting what type of man he’d be in the future. To hear the matron speak of Tom’s behavior towards the other children he couldn’t help but shiver, he’d been cruel and heartless even then. To hear such a handsome young man talk of hurting others just because he could had been a little frightening. He’d known cruelty at the hands of the Dursley’s but he’d never met anyone who seemed to enjoy inflicting pain on others the way Tom Riddle did even in his youth. 

+++

With Katie still in hospital Harry had to find her replacement and quickly. It didn’t take long for him to choose Dean Thomas. The other boy was a skillful player and he’d come to tryouts when they’d been held. He was sure he made the right choice, regardless of what the rest of his house thought. Dean seemed to fit in quite well during practice but Ron had been off. He’d even punched Demelza in the mouth. 

After talking to Ron and attempting to boost his spirits, he thought things would go smoothly. He was proven wrong however, when they came across Dean and Ginny attached at the mouth. Ron had blown a fuse and even managed to hex his sister but not before she tore into him verbally. He always knew Ginny had a nasty temper but to hear her have a go at Ron, it almost made him feel bad for his friend. Of course, he’d have probably done the same thing if Ron had implied that he was somehow doing something shameful by kissing the person he was dating. 

Later when Ron had asked him about Hermione and Viktor, he hadn’t known what to say and so he’d said nothing. That only seemed to make things worse. Ron was rude and hateful to just about everyone after that, even Hermione. If he wasn’t giving someone the cold shoulder, he was scaring the younger years just for breathing in his direction. They had a match coming up but that only served to make Ron’s prickly disposition even worse. He’d finally had to threaten to boot Ron off the team after he made Demelza break down in tears. 

Ron had barely argued with him about the threat, going so far as to say that he’d play the upcoming game but resign afterwards. It took him the rest of the night to figure out what to do but it came to him in the early morning hours. It didn’t take much for his plan to work, Hermione had been quick to see what he wanted her to see and Ron had been willing to believe that Harry had slipped him the luck potion. It was only after they’d won the game and things became known that it got worse. Ron had been miffed over Hermione’s lack of belief in him and Hermione had been upset that she was wrong. 

Then there had been the after party. Harry really hadn’t wanted to attend but as captain, he didn’t have much choice. He’d been wandering around trying to get some peace when he came across Ron and Lavender Brown. It wouldn’t have been a problem if Hermione hadn’t walked into the common room to see them as well. He’d gone after her, leaving Ron and Lavender unaware that they’d been caught. She was sitting on the teachers’ desk in the first unlocked classroom he tried. 

“Please just go away Harry.” Hermione said, looking utterly dejected though she wasn’t crying.

“Hermione I’m sure it wasn’t-“

“What it looked like? It was exactly what it looked like and he wasn’t even trying to hide-“

Just then, the door burst open and Ron stepped through, a giggling Lavender clutching his hand. Lavender excused herself, hurrying out of the room but Ron simply stood there and stared at Hermione. Harry could only stare at them both, knowing it could get horribly ugly if they let it. Hermione looked composed as she got up from the desk and headed for the door. It wasn’t until she reached the door that she turned with a shriek, sending a small flock of little yellow canaries in Ron’s direction. He tried to help Ron fend off the attack as they pecked and scratched at him and when he finally turned back to the door Hermione was gone. 

+++

After that little incident Harry was forced to spend time with his friends separately as Hermione refused to be around Ron any more than she had to, she even managed to avoid the common room when Ron and Lavender went at it. Those were the times that Harry usually met her in the library. That was his current destination. He was trying to hide from most of the girls in his year as they’d all decided to take a fancy to him at the same time. He couldn’t walk into a room without a group of girls giggling and fawning as he walked past. It didn’t help that they all eyed the mistletoe wistfully whenever he stepped into a room. He found Hermione behind a stack of books, scribbling on a piece of parchment. As soon as he sat down across from her, Hermione looked up from the table.

“You should be careful you know.”

“Oh come on Hermione, if this is about my book-“

“I wasn’t talking about your book.” Hermione scoffed, glaring at the book he held briefly. “Some girls have decided to slip you a love potion.”

“That’s disgusting… that… can they do that?”

“Technically no but when has that ever stopped anyone?”

Ignoring her pointed look he let his head drop down onto the table.

“What if you’re already in love, does it still work?”

“Already… Harry is there something you want to tell me?” Hermione asked books and parchment forgotten.

“Not really.” Harry replied, realizing just what he’d implied with his simple question. “You put a stop to that whole love potion nonsense though, right?”

“Hmm, you can change the subject but I’ll find out and no I didn’t, they didn’t have them in the girls loo so there wasn’t much I could do besides warn you.”

“Well thanks for that.”

 

He wound up asking Luna to Slughorns’ party. She was the only girl he actually talked to besides Hermione and Ginny and she was sweet enough. She also knew and accepted that they were just friends and would only ever be friends so he didn’t have to worry about her reading more into it than what it was. He managed to get away from Slughorn and his nosy writer friend in time to see a very disheveled Hermione trying to blend into the crowd. He knew she’d come to the party with McLaggen and he knew the only reason she did it was to make Ron jealous but from the looks of her, she’d bitten off more than she could chew. 

He talked to her briefly with Luna at his side until she caught sight of Cormac and dashed off through the crowd. He wondered just what the other boy had done to make her so jumpy but he didn’t have time to find out as he was approached by the one man he’d been hoping to avoid. Slughorn seemed to appear out of thin air next to Professor Trelawny, praising his brilliance in potions. When he mentioned Severus Harry’s heart almost stopped as the portly professor reached out to grab the man in question and bring him into their little circle. Severus looked very uncomfortable and tried to excuse himself but Slughorn would have none of it, choosing instead to talk over the other man as if he weren’t even there. 

Slughorn was interrupted though by Argus Filch, dragging a protesting Draco Malfoy behind him by the ear. It didn’t take long for Severus to make his excuses for both of them before leading Malfoy away. Curious, Harry made his excuses to Luna and followed them a few minutes later, throwing on his invisibility cloak to stay hidden. He found them in one of the empty classrooms and listened at the door as they argued. It was obvious that Malfoy was up to something and Severus knew just what it was. He listened on as Severus tried to caution Malfoy and even offered his assistance but Malfoy wasn’t having any of it, accusing Severus of trying to steal his glory. When Severus brought up his father Harry had to jump back away from the door to avoid running into Malfoy as he stormed away. 

Severus stepped out of the room with a sigh and Harry held his breath, waiting for the man to walk back down the hall. 

“Shouldn’t you be at the party?”

Harry looked around, wondering whom Severus was speaking to as they were the only ones in the corridor and he was hidden.

“I know you’re there Potter, there’s no use in hiding.” Severus said, turning to look directly at Harry.

Pulling his cloak off slowly Harry shot him an embarrassed grin as he tried to smooth his hair down.

“Hello sir.”

“You should not be roaming the corridors at night, spying on people.”

“I was just curious.” Harry said a bit defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t trust him.”

“And you shouldn’t but that is no reason to go wandering the halls, I’m sure you haven’t forgotten what happened the last time you were caught spying.”

“Well he didn’t catch me-“

“This time.” Severus said, cutting him off with a glare. “Next time you might not be so fortunate.”

“You say that as if you care.” Harry said, boldly stepping closer. “Do you?”

“You know I do not wish you harm.”

“But do you care… for me?”

“What game are you playing at boy?” Severus asked, stepping backward as his eyes narrowed. 

“No game… please…” Harry implored, moving closer still. “Sev-sir, do you care for me?”

Severus was silent and Harry feared he’d pushed too hard and that he’d never get an answer but then he did as Severus responded quietly. 

“As much as I am able.”

Harry watched as he walked away, those words making his heart just a little bit lighter. 

+++

As both Sirius and Remus were on separate assignments for the Order Harry spent the majority of his Christmas hols at the Burrow. He would have enjoyed himself thoroughly if he didn’t have to hear Fred and George tease Ron mercilessly about Lavender Brown and his inability to practice magic. When Remus and Sirius finally did show up, on Christmas morning, no one was feeling particularly festive. Between hours of Celestina Warbeck and Fleur and Molly sniping at one another, everyone’s mood seemed to be darker than usual. It only got worse with Percy’s unannounced arrival in the company of the new Minister of Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour. 

The only person that seemed pleased to see Percy was Molly; the rest of the family simply glared at the pretentious little sod. Harry had grown sick of Percy’s attitude the year before and only felt justified in his dislike of the man because of the way he treated his family. Harry would do anything to have a family like the Weasleys and Percy seemed more than ready to give it up for something so superficial as a place in society. 

As Percy held a stilted conversation with the gushing Molly, the minister smoothly suggested that Harry accompany him outside for a short walk around the garden. Had Sirius been in the room at the time Harry was sure he would have objected but he’d been shuffled up stairs at the first sight of the minister along the walk. Remus didn’t look pleased but Harry waved him back into his seat as he headed for the door. The conversation started out slowly, the minister leading into it as though they were dear acquaintances as opposed to strangers. He mentioned the little incident at the Ministry as well as the title the rest of the wizarding world had bestowed upon him. It didn’t take him long to get down to the real purpose of his visit though.

“I assume Dumbledore has discussed these matters with you previously…” Rufus said slyly, leaning on his walking stick.

“Dumbledore and I have had many discussions Minister.”

“Really, and what might you have spoken of, if I may ask?”

“You may ask all you like sir but I am disinclined to answer.”

“Of course, confidences must be kept.” Said Rufus, the tone of his voice belying the tick he seemed to develop at being denied. “But really, all this ‘Chosen One’ nonsense, you can see how it has affected the people.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Well you know how frantic society can get in times like these and you’ve become a beacon of sorts as I’m sure you can appreciate. People need hope, need to believe that these dark days are numbered; they need to believe that things are being handled in the most advantageous way possible. I’m sure you can see how, with all the praise you’ve been lauded, it is almost your duty, if you will, to support the Ministry in it’s dealings in regards to the unsavory individuals it’s been forced to deal with.”

Harry stared down at the grass silently for a moment, taking in everything the minister had to say before turning back to the man. 

“And how would you have me do that, Minister?”

“Nothing too taxing my boy, simply pop into the Ministry from time to time. Perhaps even take a moment to stop in at the Head of the Auror office and speak with my successor, Gawain Robards. Dolores Umbridge was quite vocal about your ambitions to become an Auror.”

“I see,” Harry said, nodding slowly. “You would like me to give the world the impression that not only do I work for the Ministry but that I support the actions it’s taking in this war.”

“Well, yes-“

“I’m afraid that won’t do Minister, you see, I don’t support what the Ministry has been doing, locking up Stan Shunpike for instance.”

“What could you possibly know about what needs to be done, you’re just a child.” Rufus sputtered, obviously unhappy at the turn in the conversation.

“Yes I am, a child with an immense amount of support and interest from the wizarding world or you would not be here.”

“Now see here-“

“I think I’ve seen all I need to see.” Harry said calmly, raising his hand. The scars had faded a bit but the words ‘I must not tell lies’ still stood out in contrast to the rest of his skin. “I will not be used sir, by you or anyone else, not anymore.”

+++

On his return to Hogwarts Harry realized that things weren’t going to get any easier. Hermione still wouldn’t speak to Ron and Dumbledore was being even more evasive than usual. After signing up for an Apparition license Harry went to Dumbledore’s office as instructed. His hand was still rotten and withered but he did not attempt to explain just why that was. He also showed Harry a memory of Morfin Guants', the memory of sixteen-year-old Tom Riddle visiting the old Guant house. It didn’t surprise him in the slightest that Riddle had taken Morfin’s memory and then killed his Muggle relatives. After that, he was shown Slughorns’ manipulated memory. That didn’t make him like the new potions professor any more than he had before but he chafed a bit at Dumbledore’s insistence that he retrieve the whole unaltered memory from the pushy man.

Unfortunately, his attempts at cornering the professor failed. The man had shifty down to an art and after accusing Dumbledore of putting Harry up to it, refused to speak of the memory again. He wanted to just force the memory out of the man but Dumbledore had already told him that Slughorn was an accomplished Occlumens. Harry wasn’t nearly skilled enough to try reading his mind successfully without detection. He had improved though. Over the summer, he’d spent a good amount of the time in the library at Grimmauld Place. After the debacle at the Ministry, he’d realized that shielding his mind was a skill he desperately needed. He couldn’t risk allowing Voldemort to control him through his thoughts. It had almost cost him his Godfather the last time and he didn’t plan to make the same mistake twice. 

The books had stressed compartmentalizing your thoughts and memories. To do that it was necessary to clear the mind. It’d seemed pointless at first; every time he’d tried, he’d end up frustrated and bored. Remus had suggested trying different techniques and he’d settled on eastern meditation. It took him the entire summer but he pulled it off and he was actually looking forward to showing Severus just what he’d learned. Though he doubted the man would truly care, it didn’t make him want to prove himself any less. 

+++

Harry’s plans to impress Severus were put on hold unfortunately. Between learning to apparate and trying to keep track of Malfoy, his days were filled. Sadly, his attempts at both were dismal failures. Ron and Hermione were still on the outs and neither one of them were willing to listen to his thoughts on Malfoys' activities. They’d also been told that their Hogsmeade weekends were cancelled until further notice. Ron’s birthday happened to fall on one of those weekends and his ginger haired friend was not pleased. He wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it anyway, what with the poisoning and all. By some freak accident of extreme proportions Ron managed to ingest, not only the love potion Romilda had intended for him but also a hearty dose of poison intended, from what he could deduce, for Professor Dumbledore. 

To call the next week a disaster would have been putting it nicely. He couldn’t seem to get any peace. If Lavender wasn’t trying to corner him and ask him about Ron, Cormac was doing the exact same thing only for vastly different reasons. Cormac wanted Ron’s spot on the Quidditch team and Lavender wanted to know how Ron was doing, as he seemed to be asleep every time she went to visit. He knew Ron was doing a lot better than he was letting on but he wasn’t about to tell her that. He didn’t need to get in between Ron and any more of the female population at Hogwarts, that way led to nothing but trouble as far as he was concerned. He didn’t even like girls and he had to worry about their schemes and machinations. 

His week proved to only get worse when, during the middle of the match, Cormac knocked him round the head and split his skull. And, while waking up in the infirmary wasn’t a new experience, it was one he’d hoped to avoid. Laid out on the bed he seemed to get better acquainted with each passing year Harry tried to come up with a way to keep an eye on Malfoy without being caught and without drawing suspicion onto himself. The only thing he could think of was to sick Kreacher onto the prat but he knew he’d have to order Kreacher not to make contact with Malfoy in any way, shape or form. He knew how the mad little house elf felt about him and his friends. He’d be insane not to close up any loopholes the little beast could find. 

+++

After leaving the infirmary, Harry had another lesson scheduled with Dumbledore. He’d planned to ask about the argument he’d heard about from Hagrid but he didn’t have the opportunity. Almost as soon as he stepped through the door Dumbledore questioned him on his success in getting the untainted memory from Slughorn. He had to admit that he hadn’t, Slughorn had proven more than capable at evading his questions and when that didn’t work, outright hiding. Dumbledore had obviously been disappointed and while it made Harry uneasy he knew that it wasn’t his fault, he’d tried all that he could think of but he just hadn’t been successful. 

Later he racked his brain trying to come up with a way to extract the memory from Slughorn but he wasn’t having much luck. He even flipped through is potions book to see if the Prince could offer up any ideas. He didn’t find what he was looking for but he did come across a spell, ‘sectumsempra’ for enemies. He wasn’t sure what it did but he couldn’t try it out with Ron and Hermione in the room. 

Still searching uselessly he was startled out of his thoughts by Kreacher popping into the room, followed not long after by Dobby. Stepping in before the two could start fighting again Harry listened as they reported. Hermione had noticed the two as well and hadn’t been happy that he’d used the house elves for spying but he couldn’t be bothered to placate her. After insisting that Dobby get some sleep, he rolled their words around in his head. It seemed that Malfoy had been sneaking off to the room of requirements, using polyjuiced Crabbe and Goyle as his lookouts. All he had to do was figure out how to get into the room without any of them noticing, he’d know for sure what Malfoy was up to then. 

The next day after DADA, he and Ron had headed for the boys restroom. Mid conversation, they were both startled by the appearance of Moaning Myrtle. She’d mistaken them for someone else but wouldn’t say whom, only stating that the other boy could relate to her, that he was lonely and bullied and wouldn’t hesitate to cry when he was hurt. Harry didn’t have a clue who she spoke of but knew she wasn’t likely to tell him anything; he’d been avoiding her ever since she caught him in the prefects’ bathroom during his fourth year. 

+++

Apparition lessons were taking place in Hogsmeade for those old enough to apply and both Ron and Hermione were taking part, leaving Harry to lurk around in search of Malfoy. Hermione had strongly suggested that he take the time to track down Slughorn about the memory but he knew it’d be useless. Instead, he threw on his invisibility cloak and searched the Marauders map for any sign of Malfoy and his goons. He found Goyle hovering around the seventh floor and knew Malfoy was back in the ROR. It didn’t take much to scare Goyle away but the door still wouldn’t appear. He tried everything he could think of before kicking the solid brick wall in frustration. Unfortunately, all that did was hurt his foot and make him lose his grip on his cloak. 

“Harry?”

Spinning around in surprise he came face to face with Tonks. She looked a little worn and ragged around the edges. Her hair was a dull brown color as opposed to the almost fluorescent pink she usually favored. 

“Tonks, what are you doing here?”

“Came to see Dumbledore,” Tonks replied, stuffing her hands in her pockets.

“His office isn’t on this floor.”

“I know that, he wasn’t in, apparently he’s left again.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know where he goes, would you?” Harry asked curiously as he watched Tonks shuffle her feet.

“No idea, you haven’t heard anything from Remus?”

“Nah, he and Sirius-“ His voice dropped off as her eyes filled with tears and he would have said something if she hadn’t turned and walked away. 

Baffled Harry decided he’d better head to the great hall to catch Ron and Hermione for lunch. 

 

The next day he’d been stuck in the potions classroom with Slughorn, Ernie and Malfoy. He’d thought that making a euphoria potion would put Slughorn in a better mood in hopes that he’d open up about the memory but he’d took off out of the classroom before Harry had even packed up his bag. After explaining that he’d had no luck with Slughorn again, Ron had suggested that he take a sip of Felix Felicis. Hermione had actually agreed with him so he agreed to take it that evening and see how it went. 

It had worked remarkably well. All he’d had to do was get Slughorn to go to Hagrids' hut with him for Aragog’s funeral, make sure he was piss drunk and then lead the conversation towards his parents deaths. Before the conversation was even over Slughorn felt so guilty, he’d practically forced Harry to take the memory.

It was late in the evening before Harry made it back into the castle, having left Slughorn to sleep it off with Hagrid. Upon hearing of Dumbledore’s return Harry sprinted up to his office, knowing the headmaster would want to see the memory as soon as possible. They watched it together, listening as Riddle used flattery and just the right amount of reverence to find out all he could about Horcruxes. 

They talked for a bit afterwards, about how Riddle felt about Horcruxes and what he could possibly have used to create them. They knew that the diary had been one and Dumbledore confirmed that the ring had been one as well. That left them with four more objects to get a hold of. They figured that one was the locket they’d seen in another memory as it’d belonged once to Riddle’s mother before she sold it at Borgin and Burkes and then there was the Hufflepuffs cup. The last two would be the hardest to figure out simply because they didn’t have any thing to go on. Dumbledore suggested that Nagini could possibly be one but they couldn’t know for sure. 

“It will take uncommon skill and power to defeat a wizard like Voldemort, even with his horcruxes.” Dumbledore said, leaning back in his chair. 

“I haven’t got uncommon skill and power.”

“But you do Harry, you have power that Voldemort has never had-“

“Because I can love.” Harry stated quietly, still not entirely convinced that love would do it.

“Exactly, Voldemort for all he’s done has never been able to love and after everything you’ve gone through you’ve never given up your ability to love.”

“But what if it’s not enough?”

“It will be.” Dumbledore said, staring past Harry as if he wasn’t even there, lost in his own thoughts. “By marking you as his equal he has set you both on a path that only you two can travel.”

“And either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives…”

“Yes Harry, it was Voldemort’s belief in that prophecy which urged him to single you out, he created that which he seemed to fear the most and now he’ll stop at nothing to destroy it, to destroy you.”

“Unless I kill him first.”

“Unless you kill him first.” Dumbledore confirmed with a weary sigh.

+++

The next day he filled both Ron and Hermione in on what he’d learned the night before and told them that the next time Dumbledore left in search of any more horcruxes, he’d be going with him. They both seemed pleased to hear it and they filled him in on what had been happening while he was busy, Ron and Lavender had split up much to Hermione’s delight and Ginny and Dean had also parted ways. He wanted to feel bad for Ginny but as he wasn’t with the person he wanted he couldn’t be bothered to feel sorry for her. A part of him was even tempted to take a drop of the Felix Felicis to see if it’d help his chances with Severus. 

A few days before their upcoming match against Ravenclaw Harry was wandering the corridors alone as both Ron and Hermione had things do. Taking out the Marauders map, he decided to check up on Malfoy and almost cheered when he saw Malfoy in the boy’s bathroom with Myrtle. 

He wondered if that was who Myrtle had been talking about but it didn’t seem likely. Malfoy, crying? He wouldn’t know until he checked though so he made his way to the boy’s bathroom. He didn’t hear anything hovering outside the door so he pushed it open enough to slip through. Malfoy had his back to the door, his hands braced against the sink as he bowed his head. Myrtle was speaking softly from one of the cubicles as if she were trying to calm him down.

“It’ll be alright, I can help you.”

“No one can help me…” Draco said, breath catching as his shoulders shook. “I can’t do it… I can’t and if I don’t… he’ll kill me… kill us both…”

Harry could only stare as his long time enemy sobbed, shoulders heaving as he cried himself out. He knew he shouldn’t have stayed but it was too late to turn and leave as Malfoy raised his head and caught him staring. He turned quickly; wand drawn and Harry raised his own wand in defense. The hexes flew quickly between them, Harry dodging and struggling to get out of the way as Malfoys’ hexes got worse. Myrtle wailed for them to stop but Harry could barely hear her as the bin behind him exploded. 

“Malfoy-“

“Cruci-“

“Sectumsempra!” Harry cried, wand raised in case it didn’t work.

Malfoys’ face split open, blood gushing from the wounds as he collapsed and Harry rushed forward. He hadn’t known; he hadn’t a clue that the spell would do something like that but as he watched Malfoy wreath in agony, blood soaking his clothes, he wished he’d never cast it in the first place. Slipping across the slick floor he dropped to his knees beside the other boy, unsure of what to do as Malfoys’ body jerked.

Myrtle continued to scream and the door burst open with a bang. Harry looked up to see Severus rushing in, eyes trained on Malfoy. Moving out of the way quickly Harry watched as Severus dropped down next to Malfoy, wand raised as he spoke the counter curse. It almost sounded like a song and Harry was transfixed as the lines marring Malfoys’ face seemed to close before his eyes. When he was done, he helped Malfoy off the floor and headed for the door, he took the time to turn back to Harry who still knelt, waiting for what he wasn’t sure. 

“Do not leave, I shall return.”

Harry could only nod as the door closed behind them.

It wasn’t ten minutes later that Severus stepped back into the room. Harry had gotten up off the floor but he hadn’t moved from the spot he was standing in. After ordering Myrtle to leave, Severus looked at him hard for a few moments before uncrossing his arms. Harry barely hesitated before launching himself at the man, great sobs welling up inside him as he thought about what he had done, what he could have done if Severus hadn’t shown up.

“You foolish boy, what were you thinking?” Severus asked softly, wrapping an arm around Harry as he burrowed closer.

“I wasn’t… I didn’t mean to do that… he was going to Crucio me and I just…”

“You could be expelled for this.”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” Harry sniffled sadly.

“You are not entirely to blame, if I had not created the spell to begin with-“

“You created… you’re the Prince?” Harry asked, stepping away to stare at Severus incredulously. 

“A moniker I favored in my youth. Had I been more careful you would never have found that curse.”

“But I learned so much from him- from you.”

“Too much it seems.”

“I won’t use it again, I swear.”

“No you won’t, at least not against another student.” Severus said decisively. “You know I have to punish you for this.”

“I understand.”

“Ten o’clock Saturday morning, in my office until the end of the term.”

“I’ll be there.”

“And bring your book, you know the one I mean.” Severus said, turning towards the door.

Harry knew the others would be upset about his detentions, he’d have to miss the last Quidditch match of the year but he knew he’d gotten off lightly. The damage he’d inflicted on Draco very well could have gotten him expelled or worse if Severus hadn’t stepped in. 

+++

The reaction from his housemates was as he expected. No one was pleased. Hermione kept on about how the Prince was evil and Harry had to force himself not to scream at her. She didn’t know, he hadn’t told anyone who the Prince really was and she wouldn’t understand even if he did tell her. None of his friends liked Severus and nothing he could say would change that. The Slytherin's were just as bad, sneering at him in the halls and in class. 

When Saturday rolled around, he ran as quickly as he could to Severus’ office, book clutched to his chest. After knocking, he entered and stood near the door. Severus looked up from his desk with a nod.

“I see you’ve done as I requested.”

“Are you going to take it from me?” Harry asked, unconsciously tightening his hold on the book in his arms. 

“No, I’m going to show you how to use some of the spells after I tell you what they’re for.”

An hour later they’d gone through a handful of curses, Severus taking the time to explain exactly what they were meant for before allowing Harry to try an cast one. He was nervous but he did well, better than he thought he would with Severus in the room. There was one spell though that he just couldn’t seem to cast and he was getting frustrated with each passing second.

“It’s not working!” Harry said, throwing his wand to the ground.

“You’re not moving your wrist correctly, watch.”

Harry watched as Severus demonstrated the technique again but he still didn’t get it. Picking his wand back up he took a deep breath and tried again.

“Griosaighistigh.”

Nothing happened, not even a tingle and he closed his eyes in frustration. At the rate, he was going he’d never get it. He didn’t really need to incinerate someone’s organs anyway, did he? A hand gripping his arm broke him out of his thoughts and he realized Severus had moved to stand behind him. The hand on his arm slid down to his wrist and he bit his lip as the man pressed close to his back.

“Your wrist is what’s holding you back, you must loosen your wrist.” And just as he spoke, he guided Harry’s movements, showing him exactly how it was done. “I will help you now and then you will try on your own.”

He tried again, eyes slipping closed as he tilted his head to the side. He could feel Severus’ breath against the side of his throat and his firm chest pressing against his back. It made him want to shiver, to turn around and touch.

“Very good.”

The words were barely above a whisper but he could practically feel them as they slid along his nerve endings to pool in his groin. Turning quickly he pressed his lips against Severus,’ fingers clutching at the mans outer robes as he pressed himself closer. He thought for sure that he would be pushed away as Severus stood immobile and he’d just about pulled back when Severus wrapped his arms around his waist, hauling him ever closer. Sagging against him Harry opened his mouth at the gentle pressure of Severus’ tongue against his lips and met it with his own, tilting his head to the side as their tongues tangled together. 

It was everything he’d imagined and so much more. The lean body pressed against his, his hands sliding up to slip into Severus’ hair, the taste of that acid tongue as it dueled with his own. His heart was pounding in his ears and his head was light as he struggled to breathe through his nose, not wanting to break the kiss for fear that it’d be their first and last. Severus’ finally tore himself away, stepping back to put some distance between them and Harry moved to step forward. He would have if Severus hadn’t held up a hand, holding him off. 

“You should return to your dorms.”

“But-“

“Now.” Severus said, turning away.

Nodding Harry picked up his wand from where he’d dropped it before grabbing his book off the desk. He stopped at the door though, turning back to look at the man he loved.

“It wasn’t a mistake, you are who I want… who I’ve always wanted.”

+++

Severus altered all of his detentions after that, sending him a note that instructed him to go to Filch instead and he knew why. Severus was just as affected by their kiss as he had been. A few weeks went by when he received another note, this time from Dumbledore. Bypassing Peeves in the hallway, he kept walking only to hear a crash and a shriek a few feet ahead of him. Running down the corridor he stopped when he spotted Professor Trelawny sprawled across the floor, several bottles of sherry surrounding her and one of them broken. 

“Oh, are you alright Professor?”

“Quite alright, run along now.” Trelawny said absently, grabbing her at alcohol as a few bottles threatened to roll away from her.

Looking around Harry realized just where he was and narrowed his eyes at the professor.

“Were you trying to get into the room of requirements?”

“How did you know about that?” She asked suspiciously, blinking up at him through her thick lenses. “Students aren’t supposed to know.”

“Um… I found out about it last year.”

“Oh, well, yes but I had a little spill.”

“A little spill?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at the still downed woman.

“It seems the room was already occupied and the person inside didn’t care for visitors.”

“So they threw you out.”

“Indeed,” She replied, getting to her feet. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to find some place else to hide- well if you’ll excuse me.”

“Shouldn’t you tell Dumbledore?”

“I don’t believe he’d care.”

“Oh sure, you could have been hurt.”

“That is true, I could have cut myself on a bottle!”

“Exactly, I’m heading up to see him just now, you could join me.” Harry said, offering his arm. He knew who’d thrown her out of the ROR and it’d only help his case if he had someone to corroborate his story, even if it was dingbat Trelawny.

“You know I do miss you in my class Harry, you don’t have the gift but you make an excellent object.”

“Um, thanks.”

“It is a burden at times but I could not be more blessed, do you know I believe Dumbledore chose to doubt until our first interview?”

“Really.” Harry replied, trying to appear interested, it wouldn’t do to insult her.

“Oh yes, it was at the Hogs Head and things were going quite well before we were interrupted.”

“By who?”

“Severus Snape!” Trelawny snapped, eyes narrowing as she remembered. “I’m sure he was lurking about, that was before he joined the staff you see. I’m not sure how long he was there but if the bar keep hadn’t caught him he very well could have heard everything. No matter, I still got the job.”

Harry stopped, arm slipping from her grasp as he realized just what she’d said and he knew with the utmost certainty that Severus had overheard the prophecy; he had been the one to tell Voldemort. If Severus had kept his own council, his parents wouldn’t be dead. The ache that welled up in his chest was enough to steal his breath. He didn’t want to believe it but he knew, there was no one else it could have been. Trelawny had stopped to stare at him questioningly but he shook his head.

“You should stay here.”

“But-“

“Stay here!” Harry ordered, running towards Dumbledore’s office. 

The statue seemed to move incredibly slowly but he finally reached the top. He would have opened the door but something held him back as he heard voices on the other side, one was Dumbledore, the other was Severus.

“How can you even ask this of me?” Severus asked harshly.

“Because it must be done Severus, you know that as well as I.”

“But if there were another way-“

“There is no other way!” Dumbledore shouted. “He is just a boy, his soul can still be saved.”

“And what of my soul?” Severus asked quietly.

“Severus-“

However, Dumbledore did not get the chance to finish as his office door swung open and Harry pressed himself against the wall as Severus stormed down the stairs, not even noticing Harry as he stood there.

“You may as well come in Harry.”

Stepping away from the wall Harry walked into the room and closed the door behind him.

“You wished to see me Professor.”

“I did, I told you that you could accompany me the next time I went.”

He didn’t have to say where; Harry knew what he meant. They were going to find another horcrux.

He had to go back to his dorm first, to grab his cloak and decided to tell Ron and Hermione what was going on. He asked them to use the map to keep an eye out for Malfoy and Severus though he didn’t tell them why. He also gave them the last of his Felix Felicis, knowing they’d need it more than he would. Hermione tried to argue at first but he waved her off, running back towards the front entrance to meet Dumbledore.

+++

A sense of dread filled Harry as he apparated both he and Dumbledore back to Hogsmeade. The headmaster was pale and weak and Harry knew that whatever had been in that bowl had done more damage than he or perhaps even Madam Pomfrey could heal. Nevertheless, Dumbledore had insisted, demanded that Harry make sure he drank all of it. As Rosmerta ran towards them, Harry felt his stomach clench and he knew something had gone horribly wrong. As she panted out that the Dark Mark graced the sky above the castle Harry wondered if they’d make it back before anyone else died. She offered the use of her brooms and Harry summoned them as Dumbledore told him to put his invisibility cloak back on. 

They landed on the astronomy tower and Dumbledore ordered him to wake Snape and tell him what had occurred but as he reached the door, he heard someone running up the staircase towards it. Dumbledore ushered him back and as the door slammed open Harry staggered back against the wall just as Dumbledore was disarmed. The second it had taken for Dumbledore to immobilize him he’d lost the chance to defend himself. Malfoy stepped forward and faced Dumbledore, his wand drawn as he narrowed his eyes.

“Who else is here?”

“I’ve only just arrived, how am I to know whom you’ve brought with you?”

“Death Eaters, that’s who.” Malfoy sneered, eyes glinting in the light of the Dark Mark. 

“So you found a way to get them in, ingenious really.”

“That’s right, you thought they couldn’t but I proved you wrong!”

“That you did,” Dumbledore said calmly, showing no trace of fear. “I cannot help but wonder how.”

“What- why are you asking questions?!” Malfoy asked, shooting glances at the door behind him as the sound of dueling rose.

“Indulge an old man’s curiosity before he dies.”

Malfoy flinched at his words, wand wavering for a moment before he turned back to Dumbledore. Then he started talking, telling Dumbledore everything, almost rambling as he spoke faster and faster. Sometimes he gloated while at other moments he sounded unsure until Dumbledore offered him his protection, for him and his family. He could see that Dumbledore was getting weaker by the minute but if Malfoy noticed he didn’t speak on it. The fighting was getting closer and Harry was still pinned to the wall and he just wanted to get free, to stop Malfoy and anyone else that came to kill the man he’d looked to as a mentor for so many years. 

He could only stand and watch as four figures burst through the door, three men and a woman. They taunted Dumbledore and Malfoy just stood there even as they urged him to finish what he started. He didn’t move though and as he stood there one of the men, Greyback he’d learned, offered to do it himself. He didn’t get the chance however because the door they’d closed before burst open yet again and Harry watched as Severus stepped through. He thought he knew what was coming, that he had a clue but he was wrong.

“Severus…” Dumbledore said weakly, staring straight at Severus as he stood before him, wand drawn.

Harry wanted to close his eyes, to block out the scene before him but he couldn’t, he had to keep watching.

“Severus please… your soul…”

Severus’ face was a mask of repulsion as he raised his wand and the scream Harry felt bubbling in his throat was cut off in a flash of green light.

“Avada Kedavra!”

He watched as Dumbledore tipped over the battlements, pausing in mid air before plummeting towards the ground.

+++

As soon as he could move Harry tore off after the death eaters, jumping over bodies and dodging hexes that flew his way as he ran as fast as he could. He didn’t know who was hurt or who’d been killed, all he knew was that he had to get to Severus. Taking a short cut, he headed for the grounds, a feeling telling him that the room of requirements had been blocked. The only way out was through the wards to disapparate. He caught sight of glinting blonde hair and followed them, throwing every curse he could think of to stop them. Severus pushed Malfoy ahead of him and told him to run as he stopped and turned. He threw the Cruciatus curse but it was blocked as Severus stared him down and his eyes filled with tears. He just didn’t understand, Dumbledore had trusted him, he had loved him and it hadn’t been enough. 

“Why!”

“You wouldn’t understand!” Severus shouted back, wand raised to ward off any curses Harry might throw at him.

“I trusted you… I lov-“

A sharp flash of pain cut Harry off as he doubled over, a scream ripped from his throat as he struggled to breathe.

“No!” Severus roared; turning his wand on the death eater that’d snuck up behind him. “Torturing him was not a part of the plan, he belongs to the Dark Lord, go!”

Harry lay panting on the ground as the death eaters from the tower ran past him. Pushing himself to his feet, he raised his wand again and thought ‘Griosai-’.

“Harry no!”

He barely had time to register the anguished words as he was thrown backwards, wand flying from his hand as he hit the ground with a jolt. Severus came towards him, hexing his wand out of reach.

“Kill me.” Harry panted, staring up at the face he’d loved for as long as he could remember. He didn’t have it in him to fight anymore; he just wanted it to be over. “Do it!”

But Severus just stared at him, the look on his face one Harry had never seen, before he turned and ran off into the night.


	7. 7. The Deathly Hallows

  
Author's notes: same as the first chapter  


* * *

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

7\. The Deathly Hallows

 

Apparating a few yards from Malfoy Manor, Severus stood in the shadows and waited. He was to give his report with Yaxley but that was the last thing on his mind. He could not, no matter how hard he tried, get the sight of Harry as he’d last seen him from his thoughts. The boy had looked so broken, defeated. He knew the boy had seen him, had been witness to the horrendous act he’d been forced to commit. It burned, ached that the one person to ever love him was the only important witness to his downfall. He had been many things in his life, victim, follower, spy, and finally traitor but never loved, until Harry. 

Yaxley appeared and they both set off for the manor, neither talking as they made their way inside. The drawing room the Dark Lord had set up for his personal use was crowded with many of his followers. He saw the Malfoy’s, pale and drawn, the haughty regality they usually put forth conspicuously absent. Lucius had failed once and Draco, given a chance to redeem the Malfoy name, had failed again. Taking his place at the Dark Lords right hand he gave his report and though it was brief he knew it was sufficient. Yaxley gave his own report, implying that Severus’ source had been wrong but the Dark Lord barely seemed to take notice. 

The meeting went on, the Dark Lord taking Lucius’ wand. Nagini slithered across the floor to wind herself around the Dark Lords shoulders and Severus ran his hand over the bezoars in his pocket. The giant snake had always made him uneasy, despite his role as head of Slytherin. His attention was drawn to the figure seemingly hanging from the ceiling and he looked at the face gazing down on him in fear. He did indeed recognize her, though she’d obviously been tortured since her arrival. He forced his face to remain dispassionate as she pleaded with him, begging for his help. With a flash of green light, the life of Charity Burbage was ended and Severus had to force himself not to be ill as Nagini began to swallow her remains.

+++

Laying across his bed at 12 Grimmauld Place, Harry stared into the darkness surrounding him. When he’d arrived at the house, he’d gone straight to his room, not up to dealing with anyone. After closing and locking his door, he’d collapsed onto the bed and drew the curtains closed around him. He just needed time to think, away from everyone else and their opinions on what should be done and who was to blame. If he thought too hard he wound up blaming himself, if he’d just refused to help then Dumbledore never would have drank that poison, he would have been strong enough to hold off Draco and all the other death eaters, he would still be alive. 

And when he wasn’t thinking about that he was thinking about Severus. He couldn’t help but think of him. For as long as he could remember his friends had tried to warn him off, make him see that Severus was evil. But he’d ignored them all, somewhere in his heart he had hoped they were wrong, that one day when it was all over he and Severus could go away together and have a life. Those last few weeks, when Severus admitted that he cared, when he kissed him, those had been the best weeks of his life. But it never meant anything, at least not to Severus. Feeling the bitter sting of reality, he told himself that Severus had only done those things to gain his trust. And he had, if he hadn’t seen it himself he wouldn’t have believed anyone if they’d told him what Severus had done. 

Hearing a knock at his door, Harry rolled over and tried to ignore it but he couldn’t ignore the sound of the lock rolling over as his door swept open. The curtains around his bed opened and he glanced up into the tired and haggard face of Remus Lupin. It didn’t surprise him really; Sirius never had been good at offering comfort. Remus held a rolled up copy of the Daily Prophet in his hand and he dropped it onto the bed as he sat down slowly. 

“I know that you’re hurting…”

“I’d rather not talk about this Remus.” Harry said, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“You need to talk to someone, you cannot hide in here forever.”

“You think I don’t know that, I know what I have to do but I thought I would at least have the chance to mourn.”

“Why do I think you will be mourning more than just the loss of Albus?”

Dropping his arm Harry sat up to defend his actions only to pause as his eyes fell on the paper spread out on his bed. There was a picture of him at his hearing in front of the Wizengamot and a picture of Severus. The caption was short but damning just the same ‘The Boy Who Lived: Innocent Victim or Scorned Lover?’ It went on, quoting the article from his fourth year as well as several sources stating that there had been a relationship between Severus and himself and that he had only accused Severus of murdering Dumbledore because Severus had ended their relationship. Looking down into Severus’ sneering face, he felt tears well up in his eyes and shoved the paper off his bed.

“Please just leave me alone.”

“Harry, if something happened-“

“Nothing happened!” Harry shouted, cutting him off as he wiped at his face angrily. “Yes I lo-loved him but nothing happened so please just leave me alone!”

Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, Remus gave a nod and stood up to head back to the door. As it closed softly behind him, Harry leaned down and grabbed the paper off the floor. Looking down at Severus again he couldn’t help but run his finger over the tiny scowling features. 

+++

Before leaving for the Burrow Harry had sent Hedwig to his relatives to inform them that not only would he not be coming back for the summer but that they were also in danger if they stayed at home. Hedwig hadn’t returned by the time he left with Remus and Sirius but he didn’t think anything of it until Kingsley arrived one evening with Mr. Weasley. His leaving Privet Drive had caused the wards around the neighborhood and house to fall, leaving the Dursley’s open to attack. Instead of leaving as they’d been instructed they chose to stay in their home. Kingsley and Moody had arrived to find Vernon, Petunia and Dudley all victims of the Avada Kedavra and Hedwig nailed to the front door. Harry hadn’t felt much like celebrating after that. 

Sirius hadn’t questioned him about what he planned to do after the wedding but Mrs. Weasley had tried. She did everything she could think of to keep Ron, Hermione and himself busy so that they wouldn’t have time to come up with a plan but they hadn’t given up. After the wedding, Harry fully intended to continue his search for the horcruxes and he was glad to have his friends with him. He’d been saddened but appreciative of the sacrifices they were making to come with him and he could only hope that they wouldn’t end up dead like everyone else that’d believed in him.

His birthday came and it only seemed to bring more drama. He wasn’t sure how it happened but after getting his presents from the rest of the house, Ginny cornered him outside of Ron’s bedroom. He thought she just meant to wish him a happy birthday but instead she launched herself at him, making him stumble back into the wall. He’d tried to fend her off but he wasn’t having much luck, he didn’t want to use magic against her but he couldn’t push her away for fear that he’d hurt her. He was saved though, by Ron, who’d chosen that moment to come up the stairs. After pulling a protesting Ginny away, he’d given Harry an apologetic grin as he ushered her back downstairs. 

The rest of his evening was even worse when, as Mrs. Weasley presented him with his snitch shaped cake, Sirius and Remus took off after Mr. Weasleys’ patronus informed them that he would soon be arriving with the Minister. After giving Harry, Ron and Hermione the things Dumbledore had left them in his will he’d questioned them all ruthlessly. Harry’s feelings hadn’t changed about cooperating with the ministry and he told Scrimgeour just that. He was surprised the man didn’t try to break his wand for treason. 

Later that night Harry, Ron and Hermione met in Ron’s room to talk about the things Dumbledore had left them in his will. After casting a charm to ensure their privacy they all pulled out the things they’d gotten.

“Not really sure what to do with this,” said Ron, flicking the Deluminator much to Hermione’s annoyance.

“How about putting it down?” She suggested, pressing his hand to the bed.

“Are you sure there’s nothing in that book?”

Hermione shrugged, flipping quickly through its pages but nothing stood out. It looked like a regular wizarding book of children’s stories. There were notations occasionally, nothing stood out, not a riddle or a clue as to how Dumbledore intended her to use the book. 

“Well what about your snitch?” 

“What about it?” Harry lifted the little golden ball up and peered at it closely. Nothing had happened when he held it the first time; he figured it was only meant to be a memento. 

“Have you kissed it?” Hermione asked, huffing in annoyance as Ron’s face screwed up in confusion and Harry simply stared. “Harry don’t you remember?”

“I’ve done a lot of things but no, I don’t think I’ve done that.”

“You caught it with your mouth, you almost choked on it!”

Realizing Hermione was right, Harry gave her a sheepish grin before pressing his lips to the fluttering snitch. When nothing happened Harry started to feel rather stupid but Hermione’s eyes lit up in excitement.

“There’s writing on it, look!”

Sure enough, as Harry peered down at the little globe the words were clear as day, ‘I open at the close.’

“What’s that mean you reckon?” Ron asked, looking to Hermione, as Harry obviously hadn’t a clue.

“I’m not sure but we don’t have the time to find out now.”

“We’ll look after the wedding, if we get the chance.”

No one bothered to say why they wouldn’t, they didn’t have to.

 

The next day was the day of the wedding and for all Harry knew about them, Bill and Fleurs’ was lovely. He didn’t like wandering around polyjuiced to look like some muggle neighbor though. His dress robes just didn’t fit right and he caught himself tugging at the collar. He did manage to find out a few interesting things though, from Viktor Krum as well as Ron’s Auntie Muriel. The cantankerous old woman loved to gossip and didn’t hesitate to tell him as much as she knew about Dumbledore. Things that made him realize just how little he knew about his mentor. 

He didn’t have much time to think about anything else though because just as Hermione threw herself into a chair next to him Kingsley’s patronus streaked through the crowd. As the Aurors deep voice rumbled through the tent, many of the guests began to panic. The Ministry had fallen, Scrimgeour was dead, they were coming.

+++

Harry, Ron and Hermione apparated to Grimmauld Place after their confrontation with Dolohov and Rowle. The house was empty, as far as Harry knew Remus and Sirius were both still at the Burrow. It was later confirmed when Mr. Weasleys patronus arrived to tell them that all were well but that they were being watched. The next morning, Harry decided to do some investigating on his own. There were parts of the house Sirius didn’t like him to look around but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. He searched Sirius’ room first, finding a letter from his mum and a picture of himself as a baby, flying around on a toy broom with his father chasing after him. He’d grabbed those just as Hermione and Ron ran up the stairs in search of him. 

As they were heading downstairs Harry caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye and stopped abruptly. He wanted to hex himself for not realizing sooner just who R.A.B was. Who else could it have been besides Regulus? The search of his room didn’t turn up anything useful but Hermione did recall seeing a locket in the pile of trash they planned to throw out once Sirius reopened the house. She also remembered that Kreacher had a nasty habit of going through the trash and dragging it back to his little den. 

Calling Kreacher back to the house from Hogwarts Harry ordered him to tell them everything he knew about the locket. He proved to know more than they ever suspected and by the time he was done with his story and self-flagellation, Hermione was in tears. Harry truly felt sorry for the elf; something he would have once said was impossible. Kreacher had loved Regulus the way Dobby loved him. The elf did everything he’d been told to do, had even had to sit by and watch as his master was killed. And he’d been ordered to do nothing about it, to go back home and destroy the locket like nothing had happened and he hadn’t even been given leave to talk about what he’d seen. No wonder he was so bitter, Harry thought. 

Harry decided to send Kreacher off to find Mundungus but not before giving him Regulus’ old locket. The elf was so overwhelmed he could barely stand. He’d even bowed to Harry and Ron and wobbled in Hermione’s direction before disapparating with a crack. Three days went by and Kreacher still hadn’t returned but Remus and Sirius made an appearance. After confirming their identities, Harry led them both into the library where Ron and Hermione sat. The first thing they did was fill them in on what had happened since the wedding, how the death eaters had hunted down Order members and families of Order members, going so far as to use the Cruciatus on Tonks parents in their search for information. They were a law unto themselves and as the new minister was under Imperius, they could use whatever means they pleased to get information. No one was standing up to them for fear that they’d be targeted next. 

Remus had pulled a copy of the Prophet from beneath his cloak and Harry had stared at his picture as it graced the front page. It stated clearly that he was wanted for questioning in regards to the murder of Albus Dumbledore. It also went on to state that a new Muggleborn registration act had been instituted. All Muggleborn individuals were to present themselves to the Ministry of Magic and if they were found to come from pure muggle stock they would be charged with illegal obtainment of magic. Because, according to the Ministry, any individual that fit that criteria had some how gained their magic through either theft or force.

“What’s next, concentration camps?” Hermione asked, faced twisted in disgust. “How can they do this?”

“They’re the Ministry of Magic, they can do whatever they want.” Harry replied dully, closing the paper with a sigh.

Clearing his throat Sirius drew everyone’s attention to himself for a moment.

“Harry, Remus and I have been talking and we know that you three have plans to go search for something.”

“That’s right.”

“Something that Dumbledore wanted you to find and we’d like to offer our assistance.”

“Thank you, both of you but I’m sorry, no.”

“Harry-“ Sirius said but Harry cut him off before he could continue.

“Dumbledore told me I could tell them but not anyone else, it’s not that I don’t appreciate your offer but you can’t come with us, either of you.”

“Harry between the two of us we have more experience-“

“My answer isn’t going to change.”

Sirius stared hard at Harry and he felt the familiar nudge against the barriers he’d placed around his thoughts. Standing quickly he slammed his hand onto the desktop as Sirius looked away.

“Harry-“

“Do not ever try to force your way into my mind again.” Harry said quietly, utter disappointment welling up inside him as he looked at his godfather. “I told you no and that’s all I’m going to say, now please leave.”

Remus looked disappointed as well as he got to his feet and grabbed Sirius by the arm, shooting one last apologetic look at Harry as they left the library. Casting a quick muffliato Harry sank back into his chair with a sigh only to jump back up as Kreacher appeared, restraining Mundungus as he squirmed to get away only stopping to drop him on the floor at Harry’s feet. Mundungus struggled to stand but Ron had already blocked the door as Hermione summoned his wand. 

“Kreacher has done what you asked Master, Kreacher has brought you the thief.”

“Very good Kreacher.” Harry said, training his wand on Mundungus whose eyes darted around the room in fear. 

“I didn’t do anything… if it’s about that junk I nicked-“ Mundungus began only to break off with a howl as Kreacher darted forward, swinging a heavy silver candlestick at his shins. 

“Kreacher no!”

“Dirty thief shouldn’t speak that way to Master.” Kreacher said, little chest heaving as he held the candlestick aloft. “Let Kreacher whack him again.”

“You can whack him as much as you like if he doesn’t talk, just don’t kill him.”

Kreacher’s beady eyes gleamed with pleasure but he backed off, gripping the candlestick tightly as Mundungus cowered in fear. 

“Please, I gave it to some Ministry hag, hassled me about a license, don’t let him hit me again!”

“Who was it Dung?” Harry asked, pressing his wand to Mundungus’ chin.

“I don’t know, I swear a don’t, ugly as a blast ended skrewt though even with the bow in her hair, looked like a bloody toad!”

 

It took them weeks to come up with a plan, by then summer hols were already over and they knew the rest of their friends would be heading back to Hogwarts, some for their final years. Sirius and Remus both had tried to stay out of their way, Sirius obviously feeling guilty for what he’d tried to do to Harry. However, Harry didn’t have time to worry about Sirius’ feelings, all he could worry about was how they were going to get into the ministry to get the locket from Dolores Umbridge. It didn’t help that he’d started dreaming of Severus again. Not like the dreams he’d had before, instead they were dreams of Severus pleading with him to understand, begging him for forgiveness. He didn’t tell the others but after seeing that Severus had been made headmaster of Hogwarts he started to wonder if there were some sort of connection between the two. 

+++

When Harry opened his eyes again he realized that they hadn’t gone back to Grimmauld Place. It had been hell trying to get out of the ministry but he couldn’t figure out why Hermione had taken them some place other than Grimmauld Place. Looking around he saw Hermione kneeling next to Ron and realized that he was looking out across the grounds where the Quidditch World Cup had been held his fourth year. Ron was still lying on the ground and he stumbled towards them only to see Ron’s left side covered in blood.

“What happened?”

“Splinched, Harry I need you to get me the agrimony out of my bag.” Hermione replied, never taking her eyes off Ron. 

Doing as she asked he watched as she poured it over the wound and as it healed he decided to get some answers. 

“Hermione, why are we here?”

“Because, Yaxley had a hold on me when we apparated and I tried to shake him off but I was afraid he’d already seen Grimmauld Place.”

“What about Sirius and Remus?”

“They know how to take care of themselves,” she said, helping Ron up off the grass. He didn’t look any better, his face far paler than usual. “Get the tent out of my bag Harry and hold him up while I set up some wards.”

Once Hermione got the tent and the wards set up Harry dragged Ron inside and let him lay on one of the trunk beds. Ron had finally come around but he could barely lift his head up off the pillow. 

“I need to know if Remus and Sirius are alright.”

“You can’t go back there Harry, if Yaxley did see it then he’s already told the other death eaters, if you go back you’ll get caught for sure.”

“They’re not dead yet and I’m not just going to sit here and not know,” Harry said vehemently, eyes slit to glare at his best friend. “They’re the only family I’ve got left!”

“Well I’m not going back there Harry, someone has to look out for Ron.”

“Then I’ll go, or better yet, Kreacher!”

Kreacher appeared, ears flapping as he ran for Harry full tilt, throwing his little body at Harry’s legs. 

“Oh, Master is safe, Kreacher is being so worried that Master was captured!”

“Kreacher, please, I need you to tell me if Remus and Sirius are alright.” Harry said, crouching down to look the elf in the eye. 

“Master Sirius,” this Kreacher said with a slight sneer. “Cast the killing curse on the intruder so it is safe for Master to come home now, Kreacher is making the treacle tart Master likes so well.”

“I can’t Kreacher, the fidelius charm could have been broken or made unstable, there’s no guarantee that Yaxley wasn’t tracked.”

“We might as well stay here, at least until Ron is well and we figure out how to destroy the horcrux.” Hermione suggested, running a hand over Ron’s forehead.

“Alright, Kreacher I need you to go back to Grimmauld Place, tell Sirius and Remus that we’re fine and bring us some food but you can’t tell anyone where we are, can you do that?”

“Kreacher can do that for Master.” Kreacher replied, popping away before Harry could say any more. 

 

As soon as Ron had recovered, they kept traveling, hoping to find another horcrux or at least a way to destroy the one they already had. Tempers were short and though they had food, thanks to Kreacher, they seemed to argue more than they ever had before. Harry could only assume it was the forced isolation that put them at each other’s throats but he didn’t have a clue how to make it stop. He was still plagued with nightmares, sometimes he saw Severus, other times he saw what Voldemort saw, it didn’t do anything other than make his traveling companions anxious. He couldn’t help but feel uneasy when on some days he’d come back to the tent to find them whispering to themselves, trailing off whenever he stepped inside. 

Ron seemed to be the worst. Hermione would get in a snit and not speak for hours but Ron would complain until he was red in the face like it was all Harry’s fault that they were stuck in the middle of nowhere away from their families. Harry was getting just a little tired of being blamed for everything, if they camped too close to dementors, if Kreacher didn’t bring Ron’s favorite dish, if it rained. It all came to a head one evening after they set up camp and came across a group of muggleborns and goblins on the run. Harry recognized the voices of Ted Tonks and Dean Thomas, Griphook was there as well. The goblins were gloating over having outsmarted the wizards, putting the fake sword of Gryffindor into the vault for safe keeping after Ginny, Luna and Neville had broken into Severus’ office to steal it. Hearing that, Harry felt hope well up inside him for the first time since they started their search. 

As he and Hermione shot ideas back and forth, Ron’s attitude seemed to get worse until he finally exploded. The ensuing argument had been vicious, Ron going on about Harry leading them blindly to their death, not caring about his family and being an all around fame seeking git. Harry had shot back with Ron being a jealous coward. Wands were drawn and if Hermione hadn’t intervened Harry knew he’d have done something he couldn’t take back. In the end, Ron decided to leave, glowering at Hermione when she chose to stay behind. 

They kept going though Hermione didn’t speak to him for days. He let her be; knowing she would need time to adjust to Ron’s absence. Harry had taken to pulling out the portrait of Phineas Nigellus and, after blindfolding him, asking questions about what was happening at Hogwarts. Phineas had a habit of going on and on about Severus and though he was loath to admit it Harry yearned for even the barest hint of what was going through Severus’ mind. 

For all that had happened and for all that he’d tried he couldn’t stop loving Severus. When he’d learned how Severus had punished his friends, he’d almost wept with relief. For Severus to send them to Hagrid as apposed to something more damaging, it had to mean something. The ministry wouldn’t contest his actions, he’d never be punished for hexing them severely but he’d chosen not to. He’d spared them when, by the ministries decree he could do as he pleased. Hermione, smart girl that she was, noticed that he seemed a lot more interested in what Phineas had to say when he spoke of Severus and called him on it. 

“Harry, I’ve been meaning to ask you, was there some truth in the things Rita Skeeter wrote… about you and Snape?”

“I don’t even know how to answer that Hermione.”

“Truthfully,” Hermione said, sitting down next to him. “Just tell me what’s been going on Harry, we’ve never really kept things from each other before.”

“I… Merlin Hermione, I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember it seems… watching him kill…” Harry replied, eyes filling with tears as he thought back to that night on the tower. “I’ve tried to stop, to tell myself that I shouldn’t but I just… I can’t…”

“I can’t say that I understand but… you can’t help who you love Harry and I should have known, you always did seem to put him ahead of well… everything and after… you locked yourself up and I should have known it was more than just Dumbledore.”

“No one knew, I told Remus when he asked but I knew I couldn’t let on…”

“That must have been hard for you, hiding how you felt.” Hermione said, running a hand down his back soothingly. 

“He knew, before he… I kissed him…”

“Oh Harry.”

Her hug caught him by surprise but he welcomed it, he hadn’t felt close to anyone in such a long time. That night they decided to head to Godric’s Hollow.

 

Lying on his bed, Harry thought back on what he’d learned since visiting Godric’s Hollow, and everything he’d lost. He’d thought by going there he’d find some sense of peace, to see his parents resting place, to visit the first real home he’d ever had. The only thing he’d found was death and destruction. Bathilda Bagshot was dead, Nagini had been there in her place, luring them both into Bathilda’s home and if Hermione had been just a second slower they both would have died. Either way he’d lost his wand and had everything he thought he knew about Dumbledore put into question. Finding out that Dumbledore had once been great friends with Grindelwald, it had hit him like a bludger that he’d never really known the man he’d looked up to for so long. The next morning Hermione suggested that they move again and he didn’t argue, he wanted to get as far away from Godric’s Hollow as he could.

+++

Apparating into the middle of the forest Severus closed his eyes. He knew what he was meant to do but that didn’t make it any easier a task. Ever since the first time he’d seen the boy he’d felt a connection to him, one he’d ignored for the most part. It seemed to lead him straight to the boy when he was in danger. Albus had known, had always trusted Severus not to abuse the connection and to always be there to save the boy if he couldn’t save himself. If he took the time and concentrated hard enough, he could always find Harry. Thankfully, the Dark Lord hadn’t figured that out for Severus knew that if he did Harry’s life would be forfeit. He’d have no choice but to track him down and hand him over. 

He could see the pool in the distance. Dumbledore had shown him exactly where he’d left the sword of Gryffindor before he’d… He’d known all along that the sword that had been taken to Gringotts was a fake and he knew the goblins knew as well. They had been the ones to create it after all. Tightening his grip on his wand he thought of every happy memory he could, they all seemed to revolve around Harry. His patronus bloomed from the tip of his wand, bright and beautiful as it moved through the trees towards the boys’ camp. He watched as Harry chased after the shining doe, through the trees towards the pool. 

Severus watched as Harry stripped down, staring into the water. It only took him a moment to jump in and Severus chose to wait. He wasn’t sure why but he didn’t want to leave until Harry reemerged. Seconds ticked by and he stared hard at the pool and but for a few ripples on the surface there was nothing. His gut clenched and he grit his teeth before moving through the woods, tugging off his cloak as he went. Dropping it onto the ground, he only took the time to remove his boots before diving into the water. He could see Harry, fingers barely gripping the hilt of the sword as the chain around his neck tightened. He knew that if he didn’t get him out of the water Harry would drown. Grabbing the boy beneath the arms, he swam back to the surface, breaking through the icy water as he struggled to get the boy on land. 

Dropping to his knees in the snow, he saw the moon glint off the blade of the sword but he didn’t give it a second thought as he looked down at Harry. His lips were blue and his skin had gone almost as white as the snow. Grabbing his wand Severus pointed it at Harry’s chest and hoped his spell worked, he wasn’t a bloody medi-witch.

“Rennervate!”

Harry gave a lurch and came up coughing, icy water sliding past his lips and down his throat as his body began to shake. It was obviously because of the cold and Severus cast a drying charm on the boys’ pants before summoning his cloak, casting a warming charm on that and wrapping it around the boys still shivering body.

“S-Sev’rus.” Harry stammered, fingers clutching tight at Severus’ sodden black jumper. “K-knew you’d c-come.”

Severus didn’t speak, eyes closing as he held the trembling boy closer. He could feel his own body start to react to the cold but he didn’t move, even as sharp pains ran up his shins and he lost feeling in his toes. As cold as he was he knew there was nowhere else he’d rather be. 

“You’ve got to go back to your camp now, you’ve got to get close to a fire and get warm.” 

“Don’t leave me,” Harry murmured, burying his face against Severus’ still soaked chest. 

“I must Harry, it’s time to get up now.”

“So scared… thought I’d lost you…”

“You will never lose me but you need to get back to your camp.” Severus said, brushing the still wet hair from Harry’s face, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. The only comfort he allowed himself. 

Easing himself away from Harry despite his protests he stuffed his frozen feet back into his boots. Taking one last look Severus had to force himself not to go back and raised his wand, apparating with a crack that shook the now still forest. 

+++

Harry managed to drag himself back to the tent after Severus disappeared, clutching the sword as he tugged the cloak tighter around his body. Harry was excited to show Hermione what he’d found but he wasn’t the only one with a surprise. Ron had returned. He’d used the Deluminator to find his way, back to them after having a serious change of heart. Hermione had fussed over him while digging through her bag for a spare change of clothes. He told them what he’d seen but he didn’t reveal whom the patronus belonged to. As understanding as Hermione had been he just didn’t think she’d be quite as open minded about the idea of Severus knowing where they were, Ron even less so. Finally, after getting dressed and warm, Harry handed the sword off to Ron and in a great flash of light the horcrux was destroyed.

“So,” Ron said, plunging the sword into the soft earth. “That’s done, what’s next?”

“I’m not sure, we don’t have anything to go on… you were right about me not having a clue what I was doing.”

“Yeah but I wasn’t myself, I’d have never said that if it wasn’t for that locket.”

“But you’d think it,” Harry shrugged, the sting of Ron’s words long since faded. “You don’t say things you don’t mean, that’s what I’ve always liked about you.”

“If you two are done bonding, I think I’ve found something.”

Harry and Ron both hurried back into the tent, sitting close as Hermione set her book and Rita Skeeter’s on the small table in front of her.

“I don’t think I want to see anything else in that book.” Harry said, remembering what he’d read after they first acquired it.

“You don’t have to read anything, just look at the symbol,” Hermione pressed her fingers to both pages, pointing out the triangle drawn on each. “Does that look familiar to you?”

“Mr. Lovegood.”

“What?” Ron said, looking back and forth between Hermione and Harry.

“At the wedding, Mr. Lovegood was wearing that symbol and Viktor took offense, said it was the sign of Grindlewald.”

“And Dumbledore was friends with Grindlewald.” Hermione supplied, looking back down at the books spread out in front of her. “It has to mean something.”

“Why not just ask Mr. Lovegood, maybe he could explain.”

Ron’s suggestion was met with nods of agreement and it didn’t take long for them to pack things up and apparate.

 

Visiting with Mr. Lovegood had been taxing but informative, Harry felt. They’d learned what the symbol actually stood for and though Hermione was skeptical Harry just had a feeling that it meant something. When the old man had described the Invisibility Cloak Harry had been sorely tempted to whip his out and compare. He just knew that it was the same cloak, he couldn’t really explain why but it felt right. After bidding the man farewell, they apparated to one of the wooded orchards near the Burrow. They really had no idea what to do next but Harry was sure they’d think of something.

“I still think it’s ridiculous,” Hermione said, sinking down into one of the chairs inside the tent. “The man obviously isn’t all there.”

“But what about the Invisibility Cloak?”

Harry was surprised Ron would even attempt to argue with Hermione but he was glad he wasn’t the one to bring it up. 

“Coincidence, it doesn’t prove anything.”

But Harry wasn’t so sure, the letter he’d found from his mum had said that Dumbledore had borrowed the cloak the night his parents were killed. Dumbledore wouldn’t have needed the cloak; he’d borrowed it to examine it. That left the wand and the stone. 

“I think it does Hermione, the Peverell’s or at least one of them lived in Godric’s Hollow, you saw the headstone just like I did,” Harry said, running a hand through his hair. “Why couldn’t he be the ancestor that had the cloak before my dad?”

“Because, it’s too easy!”

“It’s not, it’s not easy, if they were my ancestors then that means they were You Know Who’s as well.”

“Wha- you’re related to him?” Ron asked, wide eyed as he slumped back into his chair.

“Dumbledore told me… well, showed me,” Harry replied with a nod. “When we were looking through those memories You Know Who’s grandfather had this ring with that symbol on it, it was the horcrux and I think it was the stone.”

“But Professor Dumbledore destroyed it so it can’t be.”

“No, he destroyed the ring, not the stone…”

Hermione still didn’t look convinced but Ron only looked confused and Harry wasn’t sure how to convince them.

“It doesn’t matter Harry, we don’t have the stone, it’s probably-“

“Yes we do!” Harry said suddenly, grabbing Hermione’s bag and sifting through its contents. He knew he’d given it to her while they were at Grimmauld Place.

“The snitch.”

Hermione looked at Ron askance as Harry continued to dig, pulling out the drawstring bag he’d gotten from Hagrid. Moving back to the table, he tipped it over and they watched as, along with his broken wand, the snitch dropped out and rolled onto the carpet. Snatching it up Harry stared at it, rolling it between his fingers.

“It’s got to be inside here.”

“Which doesn’t do us any good if we can’t get it open.”

“So we figure out how to get it open.”

“Harry, we need to focus on finding the horcruxes-“

“Forget the horcruxes,” Harry said, closing his fingers around the snitch. “Forget them, we haven’t a clue what they are let alone where they are, this is real Hermione and I just know that this is what we need, I know it.”

Neither Ron nor Hermione replied and Harry sat back down with a sigh. He needed them, both of them; but if they didn’t believe in him then he was better off on his own. Picking up his cloak, he dropped it onto the table and set the snitch on top of that before looking at them both.

“Harry-“

“Do you trust me, the both of you?”

“You know we do mate, you know we do.” Ron said, taking Hermione’s hand in his own. She nodded her head and Harry felt a sense of relief so strong it was almost corporeal. He knew that they were with him, no matter what.

“I think we should go back to headquarters.” Ron and Harry both looked at Hermione as if she’d grown another head but she wasn’t deterred. “I’m serious, we’re going to need help.”

“They can’t-“

“Don’t tell me they can’t know Harry James Potter, this isn’t about the horcruxes anymore, we can’t do this alone!”

“What could they possibly tell us that we don’t already know?”

“I don’t know but it’d be stupid of us not to find out!”

Harry knew she was right. There was no way they could figure it out on their own but he was leery about involving anyone else. 

“She’s got a point mate, we’re gonna need help on this one,” said Ron.

 

Kreacher had been called to take them back to Grimmauld Place after assuring them that it was still safe. They didn’t expect to be greeted with drawn wands when they arrived though. Popping into the library, they managed to startle everyone assembled and then it seemed that chaos erupted. 

“Where have you been?” Molly screeched, rushing forward to wrap her arms around the three of them. “We’ve been worried sick!”

Sirius was next, as soon as Molly released them to yank Harry into his arms.

“We thought you’d been killed!”

Arthur had stood to hug Ron, who hadn’t let go of Hermione, as well and Remus joined Sirius near Harry.

“Please, everyone.” Harry said, smiling briefly at Remus. “We’ve come because we need your help.”

“I thought you couldn’t tell us what you were looking for?”

“We can’t but we’re not looking for the same thing anymore.”

“What can we do?” Remus asked, placing a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“We need to get into Hogwarts, to speak to Professor Dumbledore’s portrait.”

+++

Remus, Hermione and Harry sat in the library, books stacked up around them as they looked for any mention of the Deathly Hallows, Molly had taken Ron into the kitchen in search of food and Arthur and Sirius had gone to gather the members of the Order they could reach. Fred and George were the first to return and brought some of the more serious WWW products with them in case they were needed. Kingsley and Tonks were next followed not long after by Mad Eye Moody. Bill and Fleur arrived not twenty minutes later with Dedalus Diggle and Hestia Jones right behind them. Arthur returned with Charlie in tow but Sirius hadn’t.

Ron wandered back into the room with a bacon butty and some crisps to sit next to Hermione who, after looking at the food he held, pulled her book away from possible contamination. 

“I thought your mum was cooking.” Harry said, eyeing the sandwich Ron continued to devour.

“She is but I got hungry.”

Ron seemed to pay no mind to Hermione’s disgust, leaning over her shoulder to see what she read. 

“Really Ronald, you’ll drip grease all over the pages!”

“It’s just a book.”

Seeing Hermione’s eyes narrow Harry quickly rose from his seat, out of the line of fire. Nodding at Remus who rose to join him they left the library just as Hermione started her dressing down. As those that weren’t in the library were either in the parlor or in the kitchen Harry and Remus chose to appropriate the drawing room for themselves. 

“I’m worried about Sirius.” Harry said, sinking down into one of the chairs near the hearth. 

“I’m sure he’s fine, he’s been doing this for a very long time as have we all.”

“You know I didn’t want to keep things from you.”

“I know Harry but you did what you thought was best, I’m just glad you’ve come back.”

“I don’t want anyone else to die.” Harry said, running a hand over his face in frustration.

“Death is inevitable for us all, you know that.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier to deal with though, I just want to protect them.”

“We have all done what we must,” said Remus, quickly changing the subject. “So, have you decided what you’re going to do once you get into the castle?”

Harry knew, before he even opened his mouth that Remus wouldn’t like his answer but he had to tell someone. 

“Severus.”

“Harry-“

“He saved my life Remus.”

“I’m sure he has in the past but-“

“A week ago, while we were… I got into a situation I couldn’t get myself out of and he saved my life and let me go.” Harry interjected quietly, rubbing at his throat as though the locket still hung there, dragging him down. “I know you don’t trust him but you must trust me.”

“Harry I’m afraid that you’re not thinking clearly because you have feelings for him, he killed-“

“What if he had no choice?”

“There’s something you aren’t telling me and I think it’s time you did.” Remus said slowly, trying to wrap his mind around the question.

Harry had spent a long time thinking back to that night on the tower and even before. He thought of the conversation he’d overheard and what had been said by Dumbledore himself. 

“I’d gone to see the headmaster, they didn’t know I was at the door but I overheard a conversation that… I don’t believe he had a choice Remus.”

“Are you saying that Dumbledore asked Severus to kill him?”

“That’s just it, I can’t be sure but it was too easy,” Harry exclaimed. “I could have disarmed Malfoy and we could have gotten away but Dumbledore waited, he just kept talking, distracting Malfoy and then Severus appeared, it doesn’t make sense.”

Harry could tell that Remus was at least listening to what he had to say. He just hoped it was enough.

“We should tell the others.”

“They won’t listen, I mean Hermione might but the others…”

“I’ve found it!” Hermione cried, bursting through the door with a book clutched to her chest. “Maybe not it but I’ve found something!”

Looking at the cover Harry could see that it was a copy of ‘Magie de la Mort’ before Hermione began to recite what she’d found.

“The Elder Wand is legend. It has had many incarnations and has been noted to pass from hand to hand quite frequently. Also known as the Death Stick and the Wand of Destiny, it has left a bloody legacy in its wake. Not much else is known about the wand but it has been said that the only way to truly possess the wand is to defeat the bearer. Death is the preferable means but stunning or disarming work as well. It was last rumored to be owned by famed wand maker Gregorovitch.” 

An image came to Harry’s mind then, a smiling young man launching himself from a window, wand in hand. He knew who’d possessed the wand after Gregorovitch and after Grindlewald.

 

When Sirius returned, alone, it was decided that they would apparate to Hogsmeade the next day. Aberforth had told Sirius that a Caterwauling Charm had been put in place to alert the death eaters if anyone was out past curfew. Harry, Hermione, and Ron, would apparate first and go through the hidden entryway into the castle. The others would follow and with the help of McGonagall and the other professors, lead the youngest children to safety. Harry knew that it wouldn’t take long for Voldemort to learn he was inside the castle. There were death eaters swarming the place, masquerading as teachers. 

+++

Harry and the rest of the Order had made it to Hogsmeade the next day. Harry decided to go on through to Hogwarts first, followed not long after by Ron and Hermione. They all knew that it would draw too much attention to send the entire Order into the castle. With the help of several members of the DA, including Neville and Luna, they were able to lead several children to safety before the Carrows realized they were even gone. Unfortunately, Alecto noticed when several students didn’t turn up for their scheduled detention and was able to warn the death eaters through her dark mark before being subdued by Professor McGonagall. 

After that it seemed the battle began in earnest with death eaters apparating as close to the castle as possible while older students and members of the Order held them off as long as they could. Harry only had one destination in mind however, Dumbledore’s tomb. He knew the headmaster had been buried with his wand and if he had any hope of finally defeating Voldemort, he would need to obtain it. Dodging curses from both sides, Harry sprinted through the mass of people intent on reaching Dumbledore’s tomb. But as he rounded a corner near the great hall he came face to face with Draco Malfoy. 

Disarming and stunning the other boy quickly, courtesy of his borrowed wand, he never broke stride as he headed for the courtyard. There were bodies scattered about from both sides that he didn’t allow himself to even think about as he vaulted over them. He allowed himself to cast only defensive curses, hoping to stay mostly unnoticed by the death eaters still flooding the courtyard. Reaching Dumbledore’s tomb at last Harry almost collapsed at what he found. The solid white structure had been practically destroyed. Voldemort had obviously gotten there first. 

Dropping to his knees next to the rubble, Harry buried his face in his hands. He wanted to weep, to lie on the ground next to the remnants of the tomb and sink into the earth. He didn’t know what else to do. If Voldemort had the Elder Wand, he would be unbeatable. The war had well and truly been won and not by the side of the light. He only hoped the others had a chance to survive for he knew that Voldemort wouldn’t stop until he was dead. 

“Harry!”

Turning quickly, Harry saw Hermione moving towards him, an arm wrapped around Ron as he limped along beside her. The battle had moved further into the castle or Harry was sure the death eaters would have taken aim at the pair. 

“It’s over, he’s got the wand!”

“It’s not over,” Hermione said, easing Ron down beside him. “You can get it back.”

“I can’t beat him Hermione.”

“But you can beat Draco.”

“What?” Harry asked, confused.

“You said it yourself, Draco disarmed Dumbledore,” She explained, glancing around as she tightened her grip on her wand. “All you have to do is disarm him and the Elder Wand will look to you as its master.”

“I did that… I did… earlier, I saw him in the castle and…”

“Then you’ve already done the hard part, now all you have to do is find Voldemort and get it back.”

“How is that not the hard part?” Ron asked, pressing steadily against the bloodied laceration on his thigh. 

“Just think Harry, you can see what he sees, just close your eyes and find him.”

Closing his eyes, Harry tried to concentrate, knowing that his friends were on the alert even as the sounds of battle faded away. The dirty, decrepit room was familiar to him as was the battered face of Lucius Malfoy as it came into view. The images flickered in and out, Nagini encased in a starry cage as Voldemort twirled his wand beneath her. He could hear Lucius plead with Voldemort to end the battle, to search for Harry himself. He could also hear Voldemort’s distain as he refused, ordering Lucius to seek out Severus and bring him back to the shack. 

“He’s in the shrieking shack!” Harry exclaimed, opening his eyes just as several giants burst through the trees and headed towards the school. “He’s got the wand.”

“Well let’s go.”

“No, it’s better if you get back to the castle, I just need my cloak.”

“You’re not going by yourself.” Ron said, struggling to get back to his feet. 

“You can barely walk, I’ll not have you both in danger when I know you’re safer inside the castle.”

“Harry-“

“No Hermione.” Harry said firmly, watching as she helped Ron back to his feet. “It’s better this way.”

Hermione looked as if she’d argue before gritting her teeth and shoving her handbag at him.

“Your cloak is in there and that’s my favorite bag so be sure to bring it back when you’ve finished with it!”

Though her words were terse, Harry knew the bag wasn’t what she was truly concerned about and he pulled both Ron and Hermione into a quick hug. Pulling back, he looped the bag handle over his wrist and took off towards the whomping willow.

+++

Rushing through the tunnel towards the shack proper, Harry paused only long enough to throw his cloak over his head and shoulders. The entrance was blocked by a crate but he could see into the room beyond it. Voldemort paced as Snape stood before him, obviously unsure as to why he’d been called. Harry wanted nothing more than to reach out then, pull Severus to safety but he knew he had to wait. Severus tried to reason with him but Harry knew it was no use. Voldemort was intent on killing Harry and anyone that stood in his way and it seemed Severus’ usefulness has finally run out. Harry could only watch on in shock as the cage housing Nagini dropped down onto Severus’ head. 

He watched as the snakes massive jaws clamped down around Severus’ throat. The usually controlled man struggled against the great serpent, hands clawing at the magical cage as Voldemort looked on impassively. As Severus finally dropped to his knees, body pitching to the side, Voldemort called the cage to him and turned, sweeping out of the room, confident that he’d finally mastered the wand at last. 

As soon as he was sure Voldemort had left the shack Harry moved the crate out of his way and rushed into the room. Dropping to his knees next to the dying man, Harry felt as if his world were truly ending. He’d never thought for a second that he’d have to watch the man he loved die. Shaking hands reached out to cradle the face he’d come to love above all others and Harry started as Severus latched onto his wrist with the hand not pressed to his throat. 

“Be- bez-“

“Be… bezoars?”

“Bez…”

The words were rasped as blood tinged saliva flecked across Severus’ deathly pale face and Harry pulled his hand free to search the pockets of Severus’ long black robes. Searching frantically, he found more than one in the pocket closest to Severus’ heart and moved to lift his head as he pressed two between Severus’ slack lips. He didn’t respond at first and as Harry watched the blood seep from between his fingers onto the dirty floor beneath them, he gently set Severus’ head back down to dig into the bag around his wrist.

The herbs he needed weren’t hard to find and he quickly stripped its leaves and stuffed them into his mouth, chewing around their bitter taste. Pulling the wet mass from between his lips, Harry pulled Severus’ fingers away from the wound and packed it as gently as he could. He knew it wasn’t as good as anything he’d get from a medi-witch but it would have to do. He’d seen how well it’d worked on Ron’s wound and he’d learned back in his second year that agrimony was used frequently as a blood purifier and a pain reliever. It also helped, when applied externally; to thicken the blood enough to stop it free flowing. 

“You said I wouldn’t lose you,” Harry said, pulling his scarf from the bag as well to wind around Severus’ throat. “You promised.”

“Har…”

Voldemort’s voice, high and grating cut through Severus’ rasped attempt at speech and Harry listened, eyes closed as he was called out. He heard the threats to his friends and family, the order to meet in the Forbidden Forest and he knew the time had come. He’d known from the beginning that it would have to end. Breathing deeply, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Severus’ lips. Severus tried to hold him though his grip was weak and it didn’t take much for Harry to pry his fingers from his shirt. 

“I’ll return for you,” Harry said sadly, dashing at the tears he only just realized were falling. “One way or the other.”

+++

Dementors floated above and through the forest as Harry approached, bundled securely under his invisibility cloak. They shifted, a giant black mass, parting as he worked his way between them deeper into the forest. They swarmed together as he passed, silent sentinels guarding the forest, keeping all those that didn’t belong from entering. The walk was long but Harry felt no trepidation. He knew what he had to do even if the others didn’t. He’d thought about his friends, everyone that had lost their life to a war based solely on one mans desire for immortality. 

Harry hadn’t a clue where to go but it seemed his feet had no such qualms, taking him over downed logs and scattered branches, further and deeper into the forest until the castle was long from view. It wasn’t long then until he stepped into the clearing, a few feet from Aragog’s cave. A fire burned in the center of the clearing, illuminating the black clad figures that stood around it. He saw Voldemort, closest to the cave, staring into the flames. Bellatrix sat to his right, her eyes fixed solely on her lord. The Malfoy’s stood a few feet away, both looking drawn and scared. He recognized a few of the others but even some hadn’t been brave enough to take off their masks.

Pain lanced through his head, starting from his scar but Harry ignored it as he stepped forward into the light. Voldemort’s head snapped up and Harry knew his presence had been felt. His eyes scanned the clearing before settling on the place Harry stood, still hidden beneath his cloak. Reaching into his pocket, Harry wrapped his fingers around the snitch he found, willing it to understand that the close was upon them.

“Hello Tom.” Harry said, throwing off the hood of his cloak to look Voldemort in the eye.

Several death eaters jumped, facing him with their wands drawn as Voldemort slowly rose to his feet. 

“Leave him.” Voldemort ordered imperiously. “His death belongs to me.”

“Then take it.”

“You dare to taunt me even now, at the end of my wand?”

“I’m not afraid of you Tom, I never have been.”

“Foolish boy,” Voldemort hissed, fingers tightening around the wand he held. “Facing me like your mudblood mother, you’ll meet your end the same as her.”

The second it took Harry to raise his hand, Voldemort shouted the killing curse, red eyes fixed on Harry’s face. The sound the curse made as it hit the resurrection stone in a flash of light seemed to rock the very forest itself. The ground trembled and Harry lost his footing, clapping his hands over his ears to block out the unholy shriek that filled the air. Though Harry couldn’t see it, the stone stayed aloft. Light splintered out from its center to flood the clearing as though the patronus charm had been cast by thousands. 

He could hear the cries of the death eaters as they were blinded but when he chanced to look, he felt nothing but warmth. It seemed to touch his soul and in that light, he could see the faces of his parents, smiling down at him before they turned away. He watched, amazed, as more faces appeared, Dumbledore and the caretaker, Cedric and even his aunt Petunia. More and more faces emerged from the stone, some he recognized and many he didn’t. They all seemed intent on one thing as they swarmed around Voldemort, who appeared to be frozen in place. 

He didn’t stay still for long however as the faces of the dead, specters of his past sins converged on him. They sank into him, little shafts of light that seemed to pierce with the force of bullets. His body jerked as they passed through him only to return and start all over again. The cry he gave caused even Harry to shiver as he watched the light pour from Voldemort’s body. His gray reptilian skin cracking under the pressure, his head flung back as light poured from his mouth and eyes. Harry stared on only to bury his face in his hands beneath his cloak a second later as the black clad body shattered. 

+++

Ok so obviously it doesn’t end the same way the book does. While reading the book, I got interested in the idea of the Deathly Hallows and decided to run with it. I’ll try to explain for those that might be confused. I guess maybe I’m selling Harry and his friends short by being skeptical but I’ve just never fully believed that three underage wizards with hardly any training could find and destroy all the horcruxes. It just bugged me. So I thought perhaps there was a different way. Then I thought back on what I’d read about horcruxes, that one way to destroy them would be for the person who created them to feel true remorse for what they’d done to create them. 

Of course, I knew that Voldemort would never willingly feel remorse for the things he’s done or the deaths he’s caused. Then I thought of the resurrection stones ability to bring back the dead. So, it all came down to all the deaths he was responsible for, in one way or another, coming back with the force of the power of the elder wand to finally get a bit of their own back. You know, make him feel their pain if he couldn’t feel any of his own. But it could only work if the person responsible had possession of all three hallows as Harry did, having the stone, the cloak and being the true master of the wand. So that was my harebrained idea, if you don’t like it, its just fiction and remember, you can always write your own ending in your own story, you don’t have to stick with mine. 

There will indeed be an epilogue but it has yet to be written so bear with me just a little longer, I still have to explain what happened to Severus don’t I?


	8. Epilogue - Nineteen years later

  
Author's notes: same as the first chapter  


* * *

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 

Epilogue – Nineteen years later

 

Blinking into the stillness of the dimly lit room, Harry gave a short, languid stretch before settling back against the pillows. Turning his head, he caught sight of the disheveled black hair of his lover, spread out across the pillow next to his. No longer greasy and lank with potions fumes, it slid across the sheets like silk. Smiling a little, he turned his gaze to the fireplace, the flames almost non-existent in the early dawn light. The mantle above held several things, a pot of floo powder, his old and long broken holly and phoenix feather wand, several pictures of friends and family. Most notable, at least to Harry was a preserved scroll. A decree of exoneration on behalf of Severus Tobias Snape, including but not limited to crimes committed during the last Great War, signed by the acting Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt. 

He never knew how long he was in the forest that day. All he remembered after leaving the shrieking shack was being violently jostled as Tonks tripped over his cloaked body. They’d almost missed him, covered as he was. Everyone had been astonished when he was found, considering that the clearing had been completely destroyed by the backlash of power. Everything within fifty yards of that spot was scorched ruin. Every body, wizard and creature alike, had crumpled to ash in the wind. 

He’d been taken back to the castle but no sooner had he been deposited on one of the infirmary beds he’d been back on his feet, demanding to be released. He hadn’t forgotten his promise and with the war finally over, he planned to follow through, even if that meant leaving the wizarding world behind. He’d caused such a scene they’d been forced to petrify him and dose him with a calming draught. McGonagall had come in not long after, giving him her sternest glare before telling him that Severus was alive and at St. Mungos. 

She then went on to explain that Dumbledore had left pensieve evidence and testimony that Severus had been bound by an unbreakable vow. Kingsley, as the acting Minister, had viewed the evidence and with the testimony of several Order members, it was decided that Severus had indeed been on the side of the light from the beginning. Severus had even agreed to submit to questioning under the influence of Veritaserum. 

That wasn’t the end of their problems however. There were those that felt their Savior should be protected, guarded against the likes of Severus Snape. At first, it’d seemed like there would be no end to the howlers and hate mail they received. Rita Skeeter had even done a piece on their relationship, alluding to an ongoing relationship as far back as Harry’s first year. Submitting themselves to another round of questioning, it’d been proven that while Harry had indeed had feelings for his potions master even then, Severus hadn’t so much as touched him in affection, let alone engaged in any other activity.

There had still been rumblings of unease, but Harry felt that there were far more important things to worry about than who he happened to be in love with. Funerals needed to be held and Hogwarts rebuilt before the world could get back to normal. They’d lost a great deal on both sides, before the night had been over. Mad Eye had fallen, taking Dolohov, Rookwood and Travers with him. Percy had as well, taking a curse meant for Ginny. Bill had survived being mauled by Greyback and Ron had lost his leg. Remus had also been hit with a curse that left him in a coma for several months. Sirius, exonerated as well, had sat at his bedside the entire time. There had been others; children in Harry’s year and lower who’d lost their lives. There had also been several children left orphaned by the demise of their death eater parents. 

Steadily recovering, Harry had taken it upon himself to see to those orphaned children. With the help of several Professors, Harry had drawn up plans to institute some sort of fund for underage witches and wizards orphaned by the war. After sitting for his NEWTS, he’d been offered a position at the Ministry. From there, he’d worked tirelessly to assure that no children were abandoned, helping find homes for them amongst other families, those with children and without. Severus had recovered and decided to open his own mail order potions business with the funds he’d saved over the years and Harry had been happy to support him, whatever he decided to do. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Harry smiled, hearing the voice that still made his heart beat just a little harder, even after so many years. 

“Everything.”

“Don’t strain yourself.” Severus said, reaching over to throw an arm across Harry’s waist.

“Git.” Harry replied, grabbing Severus’ arm to pull him even closer.

Holding himself up with his forearms, Severus settled down between Harry’s legs, lips quirking as Harry ran a foot along the back of his knee. 

“Now that I’ve got you at my mercy, whatever shall I do with you, hmm?”

“The same thing you did last night.” Harry replied teasingly, tilting his hips to rub himself against the body on top of him. 

“So eager.”

A whispered word and some subtle maneuvering later and Severus sank into Harry with a sigh. As Severus leaned down to press a kiss to Harry’s throat, Harry let his head fall back, hands sliding around Severus’ torso to pull him close, pull him deeper. A moan worked its way out of his throat as Severus shifted, pulling back an inch it seemed only to press in two more. 

Locking his ankles at the small of Severus’ back, Harry pressed kisses to Severus’ shoulder, biting down on a particularly sharp thrust. Severus groaned, hips rocking a little faster as he pulled back, palms flat against the mattress as he rose up on his knees. Reaching down, Harry wrapped his fingers around his cock, urging Severus on with whimpers and moan. 

“Severus.” Harry sighed, pulling harder on his straining prick.

“Harry.”

His name no more than a growl through grit teeth had Harry cumming hard, back bending as his legs tightened around Severus’ waist. Severus’ hips bucked once, twice as his body shook through it’s own release. 

Panting, Harry settled back against the pillows, pleasantly surprised to feel the tingling of a cleansing spell as Severus collapsed beside him. Rolling his sated body closer to Severus, he kissed him sleepily, more than willing to close his eyes and start the day again in a few hours. Assuring himself that the sheets were still in place, Harry closed his eyes with a sigh.

“Are you ever going to get out of bed?”

“Lily Eileen!” Harry yelped, sitting up quickly to ensure the covers were still in place. “What have I told you about knocking?”

“I did knock,” Harry’s eleven-year-old daughter replied, face twisted up into a pout Severus claimed she got from him. A claim made wholly impossible by the fact that she’d been adopted. “You didn’t answer.”

“That usually means your father and I are busy, go on back to bed or ask Dobby to fix you some breakfast.”

“I’ve already had breakfast, you can go back to bed if you like, I’m sure I’ll have no problem finding the platform on my own.”

“Manipulative little…” Severus grumbled, pushing himself up to turn a stern look on his daughter. “Go check your trunk one last time and make sure Pippin is still in his cage, we’ll be down momentarily.”

“Yes father.” Lily replied serenely, closing the door behind her as she headed back to her room. 

“That was very Slytherin of her.”

“Hmm, yes.” Severus said proudly, turning to get out of bed. He paused though, turning back to press a kiss to Harry’s forehead, over the scar that’d brought them together so many years ago. “We’d better hurry before she leaves without us.”

Watching Severus walk to the bathroom, Harry settled back against the pillows, raising his hand to his forehead, running his fingers across the mark he found there. The scar had not pained him for nineteen years. All was well.


End file.
